"When I find myself in times of troubles Jesus Christ will comfort me, speaking words of wisdom let it be." To me that just rings truer. I sing this to myself as I think about my mother who returned not long ago from Medjugorje in Bosnia. Its a pilgrimage site where the virgin Mary appeared (and still appears today to select few). Although only a few can actually see Mary, my mom saw the person as she was seeing Mary. She described the lady as "gently trembling, serene". Now mom's arrived in Poland with her church to visit her priest's hometown and sing with the choir. Could they stop at one of Poland's three Mary apparition sites too? I know, mom you read all my e-mails so I look express what I experienced about these places. Not what you get out of them.
So I've got 2 stars on the Marian (places of the virgin Mary's apparition) map. Fatima, Portugal and Lourdes France. These two sites were investigated by the vatican team of investigators and found to be true apparitions by them. Those apparitions happened a long time ago and yet these places have become like shrines to gather around and pray to Mary. A carnival atmosphere for its boutiques, and large gatherings. However this ain't no vacation: people scooting on their knees around the enormous center courtyard praying the rosary in a hot hot heat. Crying out and wounded in the knees -beside themselves. Mass is daily held in six different languages. Its not like you go on a pilgrimage to relax, yet it isn't a missions trip either because the works that happen isn't for evangelization or hard work to bless others by. Its more like an extended and expensive retreat.
As a visiting boy scout from France, I got to carry the official glass encased statue of "our lady of Fatima" on my shoulders with three other lucky scouts for Friday night's station of the cross service. So there we were walking the statue of Mary through thousands of worshippers, the carrying system was much like how the arc of the covenant was carried. So picture a claustrophobic mess, and little me trying to walk through clusters of worshippers who's hands are trying to touch me because i was carrying the statue around the stations. There was a spotlight beaming on the cased Mary. Chaotic cries in my ears and I'm just trying to hold the statue steady. I didn't know it until after but that's a great honor to do what I did. I was 13 at the time.
Lourdes was so very different. It wasn't because the vendors thought this place to be holy. Believe me I got my souvenir water bottle shaped like "Our Lady of Lourdes" too. The main draw to this place is the mysterious water that appeared after St. Bernadette obeyed what Mary asked her to do when she appeared in a cave high on a cliff. This water source comes fourth from the cliff and has been know to heal many people. So it was all too fitting that I go there chaperoning a group of mentally and physically handicapped Catholics. I was 12 then.
Although I did not come to saving faith in Jesus Christ there. I came to see people using faith in a real way: unified in hope and prayer. Maybe it was the many candlelight services singing Ave Maria that moved me. Or that I never understood the need for religion until I saw thousands of handicaps needing it. No one got healed, casts didn't crumble into sawdust. But I was a kid who was so self centered and angry that this trip spoke to me. The Virgin Mary was not the great evangelist that showed herself to me so that Jesus could come into my heart. Many Catholics give Mary that title of helping them come to the Lord. I like to think that there was a seed planted that day that opened my life to becoming a strong Catholic during my High School years.
I think God is angry and jealous when people seek out spiritual holiness through Mary and pilgrimage the Marian Map. Praying to Mary, as virtuous as it seems to those who do it is in violation of worshiping God alone. There is such a constipation of tradition and assumption surrounding Mary. The Bible it calls her blessed among women. That doesn't mean water bottles and statues need to be circulated. I do believe in miracles as clarifying and conducive to the workings of the Holy Spirit: They must glorify God. So all this leaves me wondering if these are miracles of God, in light of what a convoluted locale Lourdes and Fatima are.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
News Flash: Nic is Blessed
Its been weeks since a good update and I feel the rhythm is squandered. But Lord willing I will get though this send-out. Be encouraged by what's happened to me. I crawled past the finish line on my spring semester. My Latino ethnography and Cicero community analysis papers were completed. Although there were holes in them like gang life or why our town has a president and not a mayor. I am confident in the result.
In school, I found myself plagued with worry as early as spring break. Since worrying is basically a sin, had a semester long sin struggle that took place mainly in my head. I credit being in the Scriptures as the help I needed: the key passages were phil 4:4-7 (be anxious about nothing...) and Matt 11:27-29. These represent passages that fill me up with a sense of "God yes you are great and your instructions are comforting but what does that look like in my life?" I have no idea what is means to live without anxiety. The passage gives a clear how-to instruction on living without anxiety. However anxiety seems so deep rooted that my attempts to be in prayer and thankful didn't feel like I was gaining any ground in my heart.
I think a lot of restoring work was being done this semester to change how I handle pressure. I spent a lot (of the little) free time I had shelving the work, so I could get my heart on God's bigger picture. I did push hard at the end but it was because I felt God was opening that door to take care of business. Truth be told my teacher sobered me up when he said: "the work habits you have now and how you work and deal with things, you're gonna take that with you to your ministry. the consequences will just be worse -so change them now."
We all know what a struggle working overnight has been for me, the godly attribute i kept telling myself when at work was: God's love is unfailing. That is one hot topic in Psalms. Other books in the Bible rarely describe God's love as unfailing but it is in like fifty verses of Psalms (bible gateway.com). Psalm 32:10 (...the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him). So when I was busy leading my team, (that doesn't like my leadership) and I feel rejected and being ridiculed behind my back. I just kept focus on God's unfailing love surrounding me, carrying me through because I trust in it. No matter what others said, so when one of my team members would say something compassionate or loving I would just light up. God has changed me by trusting that his love for me is unfailing. Again months ago I would not know what it meant to trust God's love as unfailing.
An update to answered prayer. Thanks to God. My last overnight shift was last night! I will work at my store for a month on the dayside and on June 16th I will transfer to the receiving position at the new store opening in Uptown. I get married in less two months, Lindsey's visiting in two weeks or so. I start one class of summer school on Tuesday. The Kid Movie Class I volunteer with is finishing so much stronger than i thought, these kids are a blessing. I went to a special 5 year anniversary of a church plant on the Southside that was a unique blessing.
Looking ahead I ask that we could pray for a continued repentance from sin. That my mind would grow in worry-freeness. That I would find a renter for my place in colorado. For guidance from God to potentially relocating in Chicago. For my mother's trip to Poland I will explain later. More time of evangelizing whether relational or raw. Send me anything I can pray for you about.
In school, I found myself plagued with worry as early as spring break. Since worrying is basically a sin, had a semester long sin struggle that took place mainly in my head. I credit being in the Scriptures as the help I needed: the key passages were phil 4:4-7 (be anxious about nothing...) and Matt 11:27-29. These represent passages that fill me up with a sense of "God yes you are great and your instructions are comforting but what does that look like in my life?" I have no idea what is means to live without anxiety. The passage gives a clear how-to instruction on living without anxiety. However anxiety seems so deep rooted that my attempts to be in prayer and thankful didn't feel like I was gaining any ground in my heart.
I think a lot of restoring work was being done this semester to change how I handle pressure. I spent a lot (of the little) free time I had shelving the work, so I could get my heart on God's bigger picture. I did push hard at the end but it was because I felt God was opening that door to take care of business. Truth be told my teacher sobered me up when he said: "the work habits you have now and how you work and deal with things, you're gonna take that with you to your ministry. the consequences will just be worse -so change them now."
We all know what a struggle working overnight has been for me, the godly attribute i kept telling myself when at work was: God's love is unfailing. That is one hot topic in Psalms. Other books in the Bible rarely describe God's love as unfailing but it is in like fifty verses of Psalms (bible gateway.com). Psalm 32:10 (...the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him). So when I was busy leading my team, (that doesn't like my leadership) and I feel rejected and being ridiculed behind my back. I just kept focus on God's unfailing love surrounding me, carrying me through because I trust in it. No matter what others said, so when one of my team members would say something compassionate or loving I would just light up. God has changed me by trusting that his love for me is unfailing. Again months ago I would not know what it meant to trust God's love as unfailing.
An update to answered prayer. Thanks to God. My last overnight shift was last night! I will work at my store for a month on the dayside and on June 16th I will transfer to the receiving position at the new store opening in Uptown. I get married in less two months, Lindsey's visiting in two weeks or so. I start one class of summer school on Tuesday. The Kid Movie Class I volunteer with is finishing so much stronger than i thought, these kids are a blessing. I went to a special 5 year anniversary of a church plant on the Southside that was a unique blessing.
Looking ahead I ask that we could pray for a continued repentance from sin. That my mind would grow in worry-freeness. That I would find a renter for my place in colorado. For guidance from God to potentially relocating in Chicago. For my mother's trip to Poland I will explain later. More time of evangelizing whether relational or raw. Send me anything I can pray for you about.
India Chicago Style
Big India must be sweeter still.
So it looks like you can't get deep dish in Little India but there are Cubs fans. Its a unique assembling between eastern and western cultures Chicago style. Its like being in a Bollywood film but without all the dancing and drama. This strip of land on Devon St. smells great, english isn't commonly heard and they sell rice in 25 pound bags. The Jewelers display pieces you wouldn't find on the Magnificent Mile: much detail and craftsmanship often just gold by itself without any stones. Simple in material, complex in craft. The Sari stores seemed to be on every street corner bragging about the brightest fabrics.
Upon arrival, I'm hearing the Gospel message being shout out loud on the street corner: "Your works will not save you. Your works will not save you. Your works will not save you." That was some "up-the-gut" evangelizing. I thought to myself: "I haven't learned this approach." It turns out it wasn't a Moody student, rather an old man who faithfully goes there to do open air preaching. Before I could get a question out, he switches to Hindi and keep on preaching. Eventually I got to speak with him. His name was Benjamin he was a real encouraging sign to me.
We got schooled on cultural differences, in the South Asian Friendship Center. This guy introduced himself as: "Cicero but my friends call me Billy". So I was like: "hey Billy" and he corrects me "its Cicero." To make things even more awkward, I uttered: "oh I live in Cicero." The guy was telling me not to eat with my left hand. And not look the women in the eyes. He offered his opinion that doing street evangelism with Muslims was a waste of effort, In his opinion relational evangelism, holistic outreaches, is the only lasting impact. Couldn't you say that about any type of people you evangelize? The soundest advice Cicero gave was: "Don't be PC. If you have the attitude of not wanting to rock their boats, that's exactly what's going to happen. Keep in mind that you are telling them that Jesus is the only way to eternal salvation and direct communion with God. -That should in every way rock their boats. Don't stand down, get offended! Be offended when they say to you: 'well you believe in three gods. Or Jesus wasn't the son of God.' throw a fit, show the scriptures invite them to correct their misunderstandings of Christianity." You would think after that I could call him Billy.
So we split up into groups, some right next to a mosque, others next to a huge muslim bookstore. We had four or five posts along Devon. I was on the eastern most side Devon across from Hema's Kitchen. Which comforted me to look at because that where my brother goes to get his Indian food. He told me the owner is a Christian and has a habit of visiting the tables of her guests and sharing her faith with them.
We were given hundreds of tracts in three different languages. I was giving out all the Arabic tracts upside down. There was no image so I thought the binding of the tract ought to be on the left. At the end of the day i look closer to see that the binding needed to right. Kind of a learning experience. Ever see the Rob Bell "Nooma" Video series specifically the one called Bullhorn. Anyways it critiques street evangelizing, he describes it as Bible thumping: "go ye to hell." He suggests that street evangelists often bypass the love message that was central to Jesus. Anyways with that fully in my mind, I prayed for the love of Jesus to be on our hands and words, I prayed for the recipients of the tracts and insisted to focus on the questions people had. I wanted to be able to communicate how the love of Jesus personally changed me. I wanted to effectively describe my deep and dear relationship with Jesus. I hoped not to sound like: "the cross or the lake of burning sulfur. Choose today!"
However truthful that is, God will do the convicting.
The before I started handing out tracts I tried to slow the people down, by just saying: "Hello would you like to talk about God?" Or "I have good news of love in Jesus Christ." These were my catch phrases. Most of my encounters that didn't turn into a conversation were ended by comments like: "Not now." "Later." or even more disturbing "I'll be fine." Still most people weren't receptive, I was often ignored and one group cursed at God and me. So after a while I realized that even if I was wasting a tract by simply handing them out. At least the tract will get more words in with them than me just asking a yes or no question on the street corner. The tract is more relational than me on the corner. If the people slowed down, I did my best to interrupt the direction they were walking. I was eager to listen but so many wouldn't stop (it was cold and rainy).
One thing that kept me totally encouraged was the person I was teamed up with. She was determined to bless each and every person that walked by. Even those with the mean spirited answers she would bless.
Two teenagers stopped to talk. They stated that they grew up muslim. I asked if they knew about Abraham and his sons. They said yes. So I continued about how God promised to make his offspring as numerous as the stars in the sky. Then one of them spoke up: "Yeah I know. But do you really think that we all came from two people?When did Asians look the same race as blacks or whites or hispanics? If we all came from one couple how can we look so different. Aren't we all products of incest." I told him these were good questions that the Bible can shed light on. (My Apologetic lens seems rather fuzzy in the area of racial origins.) I told him that it was generations later that God gave commands about who to lay with. I offered to find out these answers for him. But he didn't want to give me his information.
Next time I want to have an answer for those questions. I learned through that encounter that the knowledge gained this semester in apologetics is a very little piece of the puzzle. I think the hardest Muslims to talk to about Jesus were the ones who ignored us so really there is little to be anxious about. even if we are evangelizing at the door of a Mosque. We ended with a prayer walk through the neighborhood praying out loud for the Holy Spirit of God to expose the lies of Islam and awake the community to the Truth in Christ. At the risk of harassing customs, I ate my Tikka Masala with my left hand.
So it looks like you can't get deep dish in Little India but there are Cubs fans. Its a unique assembling between eastern and western cultures Chicago style. Its like being in a Bollywood film but without all the dancing and drama. This strip of land on Devon St. smells great, english isn't commonly heard and they sell rice in 25 pound bags. The Jewelers display pieces you wouldn't find on the Magnificent Mile: much detail and craftsmanship often just gold by itself without any stones. Simple in material, complex in craft. The Sari stores seemed to be on every street corner bragging about the brightest fabrics.
Upon arrival, I'm hearing the Gospel message being shout out loud on the street corner: "Your works will not save you. Your works will not save you. Your works will not save you." That was some "up-the-gut" evangelizing. I thought to myself: "I haven't learned this approach." It turns out it wasn't a Moody student, rather an old man who faithfully goes there to do open air preaching. Before I could get a question out, he switches to Hindi and keep on preaching. Eventually I got to speak with him. His name was Benjamin he was a real encouraging sign to me.
We got schooled on cultural differences, in the South Asian Friendship Center. This guy introduced himself as: "Cicero but my friends call me Billy". So I was like: "hey Billy" and he corrects me "its Cicero." To make things even more awkward, I uttered: "oh I live in Cicero." The guy was telling me not to eat with my left hand. And not look the women in the eyes. He offered his opinion that doing street evangelism with Muslims was a waste of effort, In his opinion relational evangelism, holistic outreaches, is the only lasting impact. Couldn't you say that about any type of people you evangelize? The soundest advice Cicero gave was: "Don't be PC. If you have the attitude of not wanting to rock their boats, that's exactly what's going to happen. Keep in mind that you are telling them that Jesus is the only way to eternal salvation and direct communion with God. -That should in every way rock their boats. Don't stand down, get offended! Be offended when they say to you: 'well you believe in three gods. Or Jesus wasn't the son of God.' throw a fit, show the scriptures invite them to correct their misunderstandings of Christianity." You would think after that I could call him Billy.
So we split up into groups, some right next to a mosque, others next to a huge muslim bookstore. We had four or five posts along Devon. I was on the eastern most side Devon across from Hema's Kitchen. Which comforted me to look at because that where my brother goes to get his Indian food. He told me the owner is a Christian and has a habit of visiting the tables of her guests and sharing her faith with them.
We were given hundreds of tracts in three different languages. I was giving out all the Arabic tracts upside down. There was no image so I thought the binding of the tract ought to be on the left. At the end of the day i look closer to see that the binding needed to right. Kind of a learning experience. Ever see the Rob Bell "Nooma" Video series specifically the one called Bullhorn. Anyways it critiques street evangelizing, he describes it as Bible thumping: "go ye to hell." He suggests that street evangelists often bypass the love message that was central to Jesus. Anyways with that fully in my mind, I prayed for the love of Jesus to be on our hands and words, I prayed for the recipients of the tracts and insisted to focus on the questions people had. I wanted to be able to communicate how the love of Jesus personally changed me. I wanted to effectively describe my deep and dear relationship with Jesus. I hoped not to sound like: "the cross or the lake of burning sulfur. Choose today!"
However truthful that is, God will do the convicting.
The before I started handing out tracts I tried to slow the people down, by just saying: "Hello would you like to talk about God?" Or "I have good news of love in Jesus Christ." These were my catch phrases. Most of my encounters that didn't turn into a conversation were ended by comments like: "Not now." "Later." or even more disturbing "I'll be fine." Still most people weren't receptive, I was often ignored and one group cursed at God and me. So after a while I realized that even if I was wasting a tract by simply handing them out. At least the tract will get more words in with them than me just asking a yes or no question on the street corner. The tract is more relational than me on the corner. If the people slowed down, I did my best to interrupt the direction they were walking. I was eager to listen but so many wouldn't stop (it was cold and rainy).
One thing that kept me totally encouraged was the person I was teamed up with. She was determined to bless each and every person that walked by. Even those with the mean spirited answers she would bless.
Two teenagers stopped to talk. They stated that they grew up muslim. I asked if they knew about Abraham and his sons. They said yes. So I continued about how God promised to make his offspring as numerous as the stars in the sky. Then one of them spoke up: "Yeah I know. But do you really think that we all came from two people?When did Asians look the same race as blacks or whites or hispanics? If we all came from one couple how can we look so different. Aren't we all products of incest." I told him these were good questions that the Bible can shed light on. (My Apologetic lens seems rather fuzzy in the area of racial origins.) I told him that it was generations later that God gave commands about who to lay with. I offered to find out these answers for him. But he didn't want to give me his information.
Next time I want to have an answer for those questions. I learned through that encounter that the knowledge gained this semester in apologetics is a very little piece of the puzzle. I think the hardest Muslims to talk to about Jesus were the ones who ignored us so really there is little to be anxious about. even if we are evangelizing at the door of a Mosque. We ended with a prayer walk through the neighborhood praying out loud for the Holy Spirit of God to expose the lies of Islam and awake the community to the Truth in Christ. At the risk of harassing customs, I ate my Tikka Masala with my left hand.
Spring Semester Finish
ust waking up and wanting to let you know how God is ushering my life onwards. My days working overnight are numbered! I will either be working at the new store or my store manager said she would put me in her store to work dayshifts come the beginning of June. The advantage would be at the new store, however either one is a blessing. I know God richly blesses my life with favor, so either way: praise God for offering a way out. I have a sizable time off request that might prevent me from transferring we'll see.
School is a steep, downward slope and i'm the skier at the top of the hill tired from all the other runs leading up to this one, but still has to do just one last descent on a double black diamond to be able to go home. Can we pray for navigating those choices in the next two weeks. I have a community analysis paper on Cicero due. A humble ten pager on history, politics, commerce, public outreaches of this little town.
I have another ten page ethnography report due. This is a befriending of someone who serves as a gateway to understanding their life experience as a minority/marginalized/alternative lifestyle. They introduce me to a sub-culture or a community I would otherwise have no place being in (they give me street cred) IE: homelessness, illegal immigration, gangs, Latino slums. It is an assessment in "felt needs" do drive a more intensional ministry meeting the people one by one, in their struggles rather than providing a temporary escapism "church" experience. Pray for my guy, our relationship: his name is Juan. He's first generation American parents from Mexico raised all his childhood in Mexico despite being born here. Then moved to Cicero in high school unable to speak any english got his girl pregnant and has been working on average 70 hours a week in an entry level job to support this family for about 15 years now. He's 32 now and feels so stuck without any time to pursue an education. Judging by the tattoos there's been some gang stuff in his life that he hasn't opened up to me about. He loves his kids. My first formal interview with him is tomorrow, although i work alongside him everyday.
I got three assignments that are past due collecting dust so i need to start typing them and stop this.. Blessings in the name of Jesus. Who is so full of love. Many thanks for your prayers, I am grateful and eager to pray for you too, let me know of any specifics.
I wouldn't push my prayer requests upon you if i didn't need the power of unified prayer. I do. I believe these requests are in accordance to God's will and i have faith that they will be answered to show Jesus as victorious. So thank you for those who do pray about my matters. It sounds selfish, but I'd rather be covered in too much prayer than none. I've been reading 1 John and chapter five and the end of four; it was just a call to arms to fight the good fight and remain in assurance of the love found in Jesus.
I'm doing this follow-up e-mail because my evangelism and apologetic's class is going to Little India. On Sunday we're doing about 5 hours of street evangelism to people of Muslim faith. This is the largest community of Pakistan and India natives in Chicago. Funny that they live side by side here sharing the same chai joints. Moody's been doing this for years and has had only one significant scuffle where police stop by. I don't know why but that comforts me that there aren't many. My teacher said: "We spent time evangelizing to the broken, the careless urban dweller indifferent to religion, all in downtown settings. Now we are sharing our faith people who believe very strongly in theirs. In a community that is heavily shaded in Islam's shadow, where Jesus is a best a good example." Could we pray for good weather, God's will and timing.
School is a steep, downward slope and i'm the skier at the top of the hill tired from all the other runs leading up to this one, but still has to do just one last descent on a double black diamond to be able to go home. Can we pray for navigating those choices in the next two weeks. I have a community analysis paper on Cicero due. A humble ten pager on history, politics, commerce, public outreaches of this little town.
I have another ten page ethnography report due. This is a befriending of someone who serves as a gateway to understanding their life experience as a minority/marginalized/alternative lifestyle. They introduce me to a sub-culture or a community I would otherwise have no place being in (they give me street cred) IE: homelessness, illegal immigration, gangs, Latino slums. It is an assessment in "felt needs" do drive a more intensional ministry meeting the people one by one, in their struggles rather than providing a temporary escapism "church" experience. Pray for my guy, our relationship: his name is Juan. He's first generation American parents from Mexico raised all his childhood in Mexico despite being born here. Then moved to Cicero in high school unable to speak any english got his girl pregnant and has been working on average 70 hours a week in an entry level job to support this family for about 15 years now. He's 32 now and feels so stuck without any time to pursue an education. Judging by the tattoos there's been some gang stuff in his life that he hasn't opened up to me about. He loves his kids. My first formal interview with him is tomorrow, although i work alongside him everyday.
I got three assignments that are past due collecting dust so i need to start typing them and stop this.. Blessings in the name of Jesus. Who is so full of love. Many thanks for your prayers, I am grateful and eager to pray for you too, let me know of any specifics.
I wouldn't push my prayer requests upon you if i didn't need the power of unified prayer. I do. I believe these requests are in accordance to God's will and i have faith that they will be answered to show Jesus as victorious. So thank you for those who do pray about my matters. It sounds selfish, but I'd rather be covered in too much prayer than none. I've been reading 1 John and chapter five and the end of four; it was just a call to arms to fight the good fight and remain in assurance of the love found in Jesus.
I'm doing this follow-up e-mail because my evangelism and apologetic's class is going to Little India. On Sunday we're doing about 5 hours of street evangelism to people of Muslim faith. This is the largest community of Pakistan and India natives in Chicago. Funny that they live side by side here sharing the same chai joints. Moody's been doing this for years and has had only one significant scuffle where police stop by. I don't know why but that comforts me that there aren't many. My teacher said: "We spent time evangelizing to the broken, the careless urban dweller indifferent to religion, all in downtown settings. Now we are sharing our faith people who believe very strongly in theirs. In a community that is heavily shaded in Islam's shadow, where Jesus is a best a good example." Could we pray for good weather, God's will and timing.
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