R.I.P. Thoughts

A major work God has been bringing and re-bringing to my attention is peace. Not the appearance of peace, or the quietness of peace, not even the meditative kind. I'm thirsting for the peace that transcends all understanding, the peace Jesus owns. Its the kind that asks for my burdens, a peace that comes from trusting in the unseen supreme Christ in trials and banality.

My mind needs transformation. I have gone through many changes by turning to the power of Jesus... Repentance in my life glorifies God and heals me (win,win). I remain teachable and hopeful for newness.

The Spiritual armor of God talks about the Helmet of Salvation. In the spirit world my head ought to be protected by Jesus' salvation (peace He paid for). So in my times of prayer alone I call for God to bless me daily with understanding the Truth of His Salvation. That salvation would protect my thoughts, eliminate anxiety.

I grew up fatherless, with an undisciplined mind (lots of tv too): sway according to attraction, pleasure demonic or angelic influence. I grew to be an artist and a philosopher chasing after experience, observation and documentation.

When the bottom fell out I was in mental hospitals being prayed over. Sick with "psychotic episodes" and an onslaught of manic thoughts. When daylight returned to me I was diagnosed Bi-Polar 1. For the last ten years I have delt, learned, medicated and treated this illness. All at secular facilities, seeing psychiatrists that "box" Christians, through the years the dosage has gone up.

I know Jesus Christ to be a healer, of cancer, of concussions, and of my broken heart. Ever since I returned to Chicago I have sought to ask God about Romans 12:2. (Is that for everyone except for me?) My illness is manageable by His grace and God is using the meds but what about God's claim via Paul to transform a mind that no longer conforms to the patterns of the world.

I now know that mental illness of my type is heavily related to spiritual warfare. I was "normal" until 23. I have read Christian books by Christian Psychiatrists that affirm this manner of Satan seeping in. Through drugs, drinking, my own thoughts about God, my placing my faith in the wrong things.

Now I am a man of peace. Secure in God shepherding my steps. Putting on the helmet of salvation transforming my mind by the "whatevers" (True, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable). Faith brings me peace. So I wonder when is God going to take me off of the medicine?

Holy Spirit's Authorship

Bless the Words of Scriptures -grant a loving discipline for me the reader Lord God. Teach me to search for correct meaning and hold You accountable to Your promises and attributes. Teach me O Holy Spirit to receive what's on the page and not what I want the pages to tell me. I live differently because Your instruction contained in the Scriptures.

Keep me teachable Holy Spirit because I haven't been called to follow my heart or to respond out of emotion. I must respond to Your Word. Your Word is more reliable for life than my own heart, my own understanding, my parents ways, or submission to obeying every law.

To know You is to pursue You, Jesus, AKA Word of God. As I chase you, Holy Spirit sanctify. Fuel this partnership until Christ returns. Your Bible speaks to me: causing me to underline, pray and envelope your declarations. Your plan is made famous in Scriptures, where else should I look for the direction of my life than in your Masterpiece?

But now at Moody, so much of your Word can be compartmentalized, tallied, cross-referenced, trended and extracted by the advancement of technology... Keep me from study habits that offer Scripture without Your revelation! No other moment in time has the possibility of studying your Word been so easy. Hold me God to a higher accountability for what I know about your grace and mercy and the Truth that never changes.

Give me application of faith when reading your Scrolls. Refine my study methods, apologetic and teachers. Gift your Holy Spirit's authorship over all my spiritual understanding. Help me conform to you Lord Jesus. That I would decrease and You increase.

Thanks for Your Word,

Nic

Holy Heavenly Father

I found myself riverside on the Chicago river. The river was still, perfect to gaze at the reflection of branches on this mild winter day. I was lonesome but seeking after God. I thought about the Lord's prayer and how and why it started the way it did. "Our father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name." upon further reflection, I personalized it and rendered my own translation: Our Holy Heavenly Father.

As I meditated on this I started slowly repeating it over and over. Making each word count, searching in my mind for the most fitting definition for the words "Holy", "Heavenly", and "Father". I inhaled and exhaled between each word. I got good synonyms for Father and Holy. But I noticed that calling God heavenly was new to me -That is His address, His home, da crib.

I always believed he was heavenly but never knew what that implies. It means that earth is not His dwelling place. Before I could despair, I remembered the next line. Jesus prays for God to come to earth: "Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done." Its almost as if God visits His creation only when asked to.

So I continued meaningfully repeating "Holy Heavenly Father" in the stillness of bare trees, brown leaves, graffittied rocks and littered shore line. I was inviting God's presence to join me. Progressively I noticed little sparrows landing in the trees across the river chirping to their hearts content. Soon I was sky was flooded with bird chirps all around me. I got the chills and prayed for His will for my life. Creation is eager to bring glory to God. Especially me.