Dear Prayer Warriors,
I’m coming to you with stacks on stacks of praise. This Lord of ours has shown me so much steadfast love and grace. He has been more than the Lifter of my head, more than the Giver of good gifts. At the center, He is my Father. The Author of my providence. Whose I am means more to me now than who I am.
Let me give you more to grasp onto so we can share in the awe of answered prayer, starting with work. Peace, laughter and rich communication redefines a specific relationship that was once difficult and frustrating, God showed me mercy through this renewed relationship. In regards to my struggles to lead compassionately as a servant leader, a team member boldly asked me to promote and develop. What this means is that in the past few weeks I have articulated with enthusiasm not just company goals, but philosophy of leadership and identified his skills. This guy could have asked a year ago or two months from now, but instead he came to me right after my confession of pridefulness. Praise God, it’s as if I am lifting up this coworker to succeed more. The Lord divinely directed this circumstance at just the right time. God is the softener of my heart in the hard places. Now this team member works with a whole new perspective, with a greater buy-in to why we do what we do. It gratified my mind to invest in this way. Lastly, our store has been comping (gaining sales) exceptionally well, operationally we got recognized as “top dog” among 100 stores. This favorable providence at work draws praise out of me especially when I know how intentionally we have been in prayer about this. Thank you!!!
I am humbled about how this ask for prayer has turned out. It reminds me of this praise song lyric: “So I run to the Father, fall into grace, I'm done with the hiding no reason to wait. My heart needs a surgeon, my soul needs a friend so I run to the father again, and again, and again,”
In 10 days, we aim to honor and thank Jesus our Shepherd for the life of Simon Emmanuel. Our Simon-Diamond! What love and healing he brought to me. This past Father’s Day, I shared with my children graveside how Anna’s birth caused me to surrender nearly all things a normal daddy looks forward to. Then Simon was born, slowly as he grew, I got to pick these “daddy things” up that I laid down years ago. Carrying him on my shoulders for the first time was one of those moments of healing he brought me.
When Simon was nearly two, we visited the Littleton Historical Museum. It’s a turn of the century farm with many animals, a blacksmithing shack and a terrific Little House on the Prairie type home. He explored with great wonderment the sights and smells via those young feet with a tiny gait. The idea just came to me, let me try and have him sit on my shoulders. Perhaps it was my sense of belonging to him that made me want to scoop him up, it was a joyful thing. I was as proud as a king being crowned. For the first time, I carried a child of mine on my shoulders even though I had been a father for 5 years already. It was a joyful, healing daddy thing. In looking back, God didn’t tell me to buck up and get tough on that longing, nor that I should be grateful just to have Anna as is (which I am). Carrying Simon didn’t bring healing to Anna; but it showed me that God has great love to give me through this son.
I am about to cross over two years of grief and pressing into the bounty of hope found only in the Word. I have learned lots but it doesn't replace the tremendous relationship I once shared with my wonderful boy. Jesus, it is Jesus the only hope that doesn’t disappoint when I take Him at His Word, He became my greatest reliance in loss. My bride at my side served as a radical reminder that God is still good, I can surrender and walk in this though I don’t want to. I am reminded of God’s goodness and love even when I still weep because of Lindsey’s faith. It is love that I linger on the most, the love I have received humbles me, I have never looked at 1 Corinthians 13 more in my life and tried to apply it.
The best summation of how I feel going into this current wave of grief at the two year mark comes from a recent short video I watched from a wise old lady named Joni Eareckson Tada. She observes that in suffering there is great spiritual gain, prayers like “teach me Lord through this.” Is lofty and righteous to do yet it is still left wanting. She offers this illustration:
"Suppose I was a little girl on my bike and this great downhill portion is ahead of me. I engage it, lose control in the soft gravel and fly off the bike landing with cuts, blood, screaming in pain. My father quickly comes to my aid. He could say “your shoelace is untied, you started braking too late, always avoid gravel, I told you to pump up the tires. next time you will know.” But No. No, not all! All that little girl just wants at that moment is her daddy’s arms around her, holding her, telling her it's going to be ok, "I love you."
At this milestone, all I am interested in is my Perfect Heavenly Father holding me, comforting me, giving me peace, telling me whose I am. His authorship and relationship with me is far greater than lessons learned and head knowledge, His love is better than refinement, its agape love.
Please Pray for:
-Anna. For God to assign His best choice for our new Speech Therapist. last week we did the intake. We have decided to go clinic-based instead of at-home services. Our aim is for improved communication using her Eye Gaze Device. Tonight we are doing a sleep study at Children’s Hospital that is why I am finding a little time to write. Pray that she can sleep with all those probes and wires. Also, the 12 Botox injects last month have been worthwhile.
-continued grace and love as we believe God’s best for our family. The Lord gives, the Lord has taken away, Blessed be the Lord. May we always see Simon as a vital, important part of our family in his absence too. I have been intentional to impress on our kids the value and importance they each bring as part of our family. We are planning a small family outing on July 5th. for the Lord's protection and wisdom too.
-Continued transformation at work into Christ likeness with great love.
- Mom. she has been doing well, she is not having falls or much confusion at all. and my work has enabled me to see her every week by giving me a half day weekly. she is about an hour and a half away.
"We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all God’s people— the faith and love that spring from the hope stored up for you in heaven and about which you have already heard in the true message of the gospel." Colossians 1:3-5 let us believe this for one another for the gospel's sake!
With Love,
Nic for the Currats
