Decisions Offered Up to God

Precious Prayer Warriors,

Do you ever remember living paycheck to paycheck? Then, when payday comes around you already spent 90% of the check for what is most urgent or borrowed. What remains is spent in the following few days. Then you wait until the next payday wishing you had more money, borrowing until the next check, and eating Banquet frozen dinners… I feel like that when it comes to choosing how to spend Anna’s time. The important stuff, the non-negotiables occupy so much of her time whether it’s the daily 20-hour tube feeds, the timetables for her medications, the doctors and specialist’s appointments, then comes the therapists, dressing, diapers, positioning, then the homework from therapists, the follow-up to see how medical orders are coming along.  Everything’s important!

I feel like today is payday and we are looking at our paycheck scratching our heads knowing it has already been spent. Even years later on this journey with Anna, we are tempted with the guilt of not being able to do enough. How unnatural it is to have parents choose which therapy is more important and which ones can be put on hold. Therapists often preach to us about why their homework is best and most important of all. Remember two years ago we prayerfully decided for umbilical cord stem cell treatment and intensive therapy? God opened the door. Then we deemed that vision was the best “gains” and so we focused on that; last year we focused on communication. In all these special efforts it seems that milestones were still not met. The Holy Spirit still reminds me to not lose sight of the incredible blessing and privilege it is to have choices and resources for various therapies needed.

It’s that time of years again, where we roll out another of Anna’s IEP (individualized education plan). We’ve learned that most professionals point of view in “presuming competence” is based on their techniques and research -but we presume competence because of God (is anything too hard for Him?). I want to overwhelm the IEP this year because (like all of us) Anna needs supernatural intervention to accomplish anything. Vision goal: reading, PT goal: walking, OT: mastering the piano, Speech goal: eating orally, singing, and conversational. Praise the Lord who fills me with enough awe to ask big!

We have the opportunity of taking Anna to preschool where they work 4 hours a day with her on communicative devices. They are good at what they do and we have not progressed in this area at all. This would mean we cancel the therapies at home in order for her to do this. Anna receives weekly services at home of massage, physical therapy (twice a week), speech, and Occupational Therapy. We also drive her to Speech (communication) therapy, and music therapy weekly. The change might be refreshing for Anna, but the commitment for all of us seems out of reach.  Personally, I dream of adding aquatic therapy and hippotherapy (horseback therapy) and integrating her into social events like dance class or children’s bible study. Or how about more one-on-one daddy-daughter time, family time, song time, and focusing on God time? 

Presenting all that is before us with faith has always been a see-saw between the medical needs and our dependence on Christ. Therefore, we have a conviction that the amount of time we spend before God asking for healing, asking for the Spirit’s anointing on Anna, attending prayer meetings, sharing testimony of God's shepherding us, and talking to the Great Physician ought to surpass the amount of time we spend for doctor’s appointments and therapy sessions.

In truth, God knows and directs His purposes for Anna. Our time is often going faster than we’d like. So where do we turn to? Our God and Father, our Refuge, the Holder of Time, the Healer, the most Loving and understanding Person we know, Jesus of course. We ask for the Holy Spirit to mess with us in all the right ways to straighten our paths and clearly draw us to Christ the author and finisher of our faith.

 Please Pray For:

-wisdom and a straightened path as we lay down our plans and pick up His plans.

-doors to be closed or opened that would aide us in discerning what is most needed.

-increased time praying to the Daddy God, praising Him, and dwelling in His presence.

-the identification of our core values to guide the decisions regarding treatments and medications.

Praise the Lord for the minivan parked right out front with a side ramp for Anna! That has become quite the testimony of this past year for us prayer warriors.

Thank you!!!

The Currats