A Faith Worth More Than Gold But Treated Like Pyrite

So if you think that I’ve got some incredible new stuff to share with you I do. Is it good and will you enjoy it? Well if not at least its true.

The preface: My boss left about a month ago and I’m doing his duties all untrained as well as mine. I find my life in an immense shift and slide mentally. It’s something that I feel is willed by the Lord because I’m finding a clearer sight for my future that might not include retail.

I went on a super sweet retreat this past weekend as a chaperone to the teens at my church. It was in Estes Park at the YMCA. It was so cold that we barely had time to notice we were in nature. There were distractions like an all you can eat buffet for breakfast, lunch and dinner, Apples to Apples, Scrabble, and knock-out basketball.

That was a then -it feel like a very long time ago. Seven days went by in earnest effort to be undivided in my love for Jesus. At church today I was asked to prize my faith, to count it more valuable then anything else. I’ve been thinking about what that means and how my life would be directed if I knowingly placed my faith as the most important thing to guard, share and value.

Honestly though I’ve been divided and I haven’t shared with Jesus all of my life. Nor has my faith been delicately cared for and tended to like some priceless art. I’m withholding, dabbling in distractions and behaving like what’s within is less than pure gold and lots of it.

Omitting humor, I never lie. –That’s a joke. No but I am honest and through time I’ve been able to cast out lies from my phrases. In the last week I can think of two lies that I’ve said, and for no good reason. One was out of pride and another was out of wanting to fit in with the insignificant conversation topic at hand. I need to be hit over the head with a whiffle ball bat. Moreover, I need to seek Jesus in presence and forgiveness.

Another division was spending time drinking alone. When I’m feeling those “I’d rather be somewhere else” or “woe is me I’m a loner.” feelings I’ve bypassed the Lord and look forward to a beer. Instead of taking those moments and saying to Jesus I need an attitude check: “this too shall pass.” I go and spend God’s money (via my job) on some drinks. The next morning: my throats dry, nose stuffy and I need to pee horribly. Gosh I don’t miss that. That is not the way to treat the faith I have in Jesus Christ. It’s my warm gooey center.

What’s worse than the lie I told to God in prayer about being done drinking, is that I prefer to do it alone? I’m a confessed/professing Christian. So my believing and unbelieving friends and family are just going to tar and feather me. At least that’s what the Devil puts in my head. So I do it alone to hide. The one night I choose to defy my candidness, I do it with my brother Joe who I’ve been witnessing to and praying for since I became a believer. I’m sure it wasn’t a big deal to him. He didn’t even mention it. But the character I’ve put fourth as a believer has become hypocritically compromised in his subconscious (maybe?).

Recently, the day after the retreat the Holy Spirit placed on my heart that I needed an accountability partner. Help when the temptation keeps lapping up at my door and I act out in sin. One fundamental difference of me as a believer versus who I was unsaved is temptation. I never struggled with being tempted by lust. It was a part of me I was neither ashamed nor proud. Now it is declared as my enemy and it has become an addiction of behavior. I need the full armor of God. I pray constantly for the renewing of my mind, especially from sex. This last month I’ve put it high on the list of the evil that deceives me. I have someone to call now. I have and I haven’t called him, it’s been a struggle to admit sometimes.

I went for a long period not needing to guard my heart letting whatever gunk in. Now it’s my faith that I guard. There is where the actual Spirit of Jesus Christ lives within me. The rest is peanuts! I learned today that it is my job to rejoice. I have to work at it, claim it, own it and give it. Similarly, my brunch buddy recommended to pray for growth everyday even if it’s a toe’s length a day. I know I’m in a valley, I hate that temptation has turned into sin. I must rejoice through this. Because I will soon get a boss the storm will calm at work. And Jesus is my hiking buddy leading me out of the valley.
Cherish faith.
Sever the sins.
Rejoice light-heartedly.