"Oh how I love Jesus, Oh how I love Jesus, Oh how I love Jesus because He first loved me." Love that hymn. Love has met me in the Agape form (Godly love). It was that day where Christ showed mercy on my first prayer to Him in over a decade. I hope the testimony I live illustrates how God uses sinful, undeserving people to work for Him and receive His grace unconditionally. I submitted my life to Jesus Christ two years ago! It was only fitting that today at Awana we learned about how to ask Jesus for forgiveness from sin. That message of Jesus has sustained me these last two years! Although my mother is starting to admit that this might not be just another one of Nic's phases; I pray that my life rescued by Christ, grown by God doesn't go unnoticed. I mentioned at my "Jesus is invited housewarming party" that it is the people who've known me the longest and have seen the impact of God's changes in me the most that I have the hardest time witnessing to. Conversely, my communities of friends, co-workers, and fellow believers have the hardest time picturing the way I was when I lived a self willed life.
So here I am now. After a stirring lesson/lecture of asking God to use me, "May you not let me rest God until you have placed me according to Your will." I write to you because God has grown me. I am a leader, yeah I do it for a living, I do it with church groups but now I seek out those opportunities to lead. I am going to give a lecture on community in two weeks. In my mind, this is one more thing that will season my service to the Lord and usher me into the nervous unknown (gasp). It's a gift to be a leader and I'm sure not everyone sees that in me... then again, could you see me as an undercover secret shopper either? Similar to that lesson, God places my weakness where I can't ignore them. Maybe I won't be a leader my whole life maybe this is just a season to repair the hell my body and mind went through before.
Nonetheless, I have become more attentive to others in leading. Listening used to be hard for me especially if I was under any narcotics, I enjoy listening now. I think encouragement is the best way to lead. Leading is a way of me loving my neighbors and helps me be others-centered. Courteous delegation is win/win. Leading forces me to think critically about organization, execution, and results. It helps me listen to myself more closely to notice when I grumble, gossip or gas.
All this to say that I'm looking to God to use me. I still pray for guidance, corporate retail will always be corporate retail but I am ever changing and conforming to Christ. I'm fluent in French -its not for nothing. I feel like I’m discovering who I am in the light of God. And I'm trying to be patient yet responsive upon God's call. Tonight's lecture was how Peter stood up, unscripted, perhaps surprising other apostles and he spoke at the Pentecost and 3,000 souls became members of the church. What an awesome passage (Acts chapter 2) about the Holy Spirit using Peter for His glory. What would have happened if Peter didn't stand up?
No comments:
Post a Comment