Dear Praying Warrior,
Heaven's Carpenter
As the Lord orchestrated things, last spring we moved mom into my brother’s house. During that process, I surveyed the memorabilia, found, and claimed a framed sketch of Jesus I’d never paid attention to before. Thanks to Lindsey it has been at my bedside since I brought it to my home. It's a portrait of Jesus focused on a piece of wood in his lap. He's running a carpenter’s block plane over the wood creating those thick curled shavings at the end of the piece. My bride wedged four pictures in the frame seams, around that image. Each picture is of me with each one of my kids. My Father in Heaven loves me, even as I am on His lap, I am surrounded with the joy and comfort my kids give. God shapes me into the likeness of His Son.
In the days and weeks after Simon’s death, I was apprehensive to talk to people who also lost a son, not anymore, they have become a tool in my Heavenly Carpenter’s drawer. Particularly Christian fathers. Fathers that have lost their children but not their faith! I found out last week that 5 of the 10 men in my Bible study discussion group have lost their sons and have kept on walking with Jesus. This is no coincidence, but rather a hug from the Lord. How can an interdenominational Bible study with around 100+ men happen to place us in the same discussion class together? Wow, I thought it good to study the Bible, but God had more overflow in mind for my spiritual formation. God cares about my sorrow and wants me to walk with Him!
A Little Legacy
The Lord brought a handyman to our home through a reference this past week. He was an encouragement to me. He placed kitchen cabinets, patched drywall and laid flooring down for us. We shared stories of loss and legacy confessing how formative such things are. After a while we found out that we attended the same church. Praise
Legacy remains pressing on my heart regarding Simon. Perhaps I don’t want to lose my memories of him and what he stood for. Or at the risk of sounding insecure, maybe I seek reassurance that there was a great purpose in God’s plan to give Simon life and allow for his seemingly premature death. Either way, there is much mystery surrounding him and I know that God doesn’t owe me an answer. He didn’t have to give me Simon in the first place. I’m so glad He did.
I have come to think of legacy as a retraceable way for others to see God’s grace in the life lived and then formulate it into stories left behind, an annual tradition, or maybe a memorial; All to the Glory of God. I have asked myself “how has God been gracious to Simon?” Pray with me that God would show me more ways He was gracious to Simon. I know we touched on many points of grace during the funeral service.
God afforded us financial blessing throughout this whole ordeal, not out of need as far as we can perceive, but for us to be a blessing with it. Pray that we would use the money that we received to honor Jesus, Simon’s memory, and pay for things like counseling if we are led that way. We used that fund for the first time on Halloween. We sought to glorify God by having a time of praise and worship at our house with some neighbors and some of Simon’s friends. During a break in the singing, the kids formed an assembly line and helped make homeless bags. The kind I used to make with Simon! They come complete with a gospel booklet, a Jesus word search, local contact numbers for job search assistance, food, shelter, and lots of nourishing food. That night I shared with them about the 5-mile bike ride I took with Simon back in May. We biked along the river past many homeless camps. I was surprised at the many clusters as we biked past. We took a water break and talked about the homeless. I was unprepared. It’s hard to talk about the homeless with children, even with a biblical view I found myself asking Simon “what can we do about it? God loves them too!”. His heart had room for the homeless, so much room. He said to me “these guys need bags too.”
The Sunday after our night of worship, I loaded up my bike trailer with 30 or so homeless bags. With a dear brother, we biked in the cold and dropped them off. We biked the same route I did 6 months earlier with Simon. We stopped to talk to each of them and prayed. I shared my story about the time I rode that same path with Simon, I told them that my son wanted them to know that Jesus loves them and cares to meet their needs. I added that Jesus is a chain breaker. To my surprise I found myself being prayed for too. They met me with compassion towards my heartbreak equal to the measure of compassion we were out delivering. One of them saw Simon’s story on the news. We prayed for idols to be smashed and chains broke.
In a grief book aimed at helping kids grieve, I read a statement that surprised me, it said, "time doesn’t heal the wounds, but actions do." The acts of our worship night, the homeless bags and the bike ride ministered deeply. It was also the first time I got back on my bike since Simon died.
Praise the Lord for:
- Renee being carefully loved and listened to by us. We have been giving her some melatonin at night which has helped calm her too.
- all the handy work done unto the glory of God.
- getting our family recovered from a viral illness.
-Honoring our memory of Simon while serving Jesus and loving on the homeless.
-Giving me rich support in Christ's Body through my Bible study discussion group
Please Pray for:
-Renee. That she would not suffer any long-term effects from early childhood trauma. And that the Lord would ease her into sharing a room with Victor when the time is right.
-Transformation from the inside out for the homeless that received a bag made by Simon’s friends.
-wisdom and confirmation for the medical treatment of Anna’s neurological condition called Electrical Status Epilepticus during (ESES) coming up on December 12th. The treatment is 3 months on a heavy dose of Valium. It’s supposed to be a 3 day inpatient stay to start, so we can see how Anna adjusts to the treatment. Prior treatments and studies show much cognition improvement and speech development to the patients who respond well to it. Would this please the Lord as an avenue for Him to administer healing?
-Continued sharing of our hearts with one another for Lindsey and I.
-Grace in love as we are hosting our mothers one after another in the next two weeks.
Thank you,
Nic, Lindsey, Anna, Renee, and Victor
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