Growth for the Harvest: Thinking on Thanksgiving

Dear Prayer Warriors,

Thank you for praying with me for our Thanksgiving, some of you have asked how it was so I thought I would share the experience a bit to honor the Lord my Shepherd. My retail work amazingly gave me the Wednesday, Thursday and Friday off to focus on my family. The day before seemed particularly filled with grace as I met with some godly men, did a prayer walk in the cemetery as Simon is buried on the far end of the property. I spent much time outside with the favorable weather. I ended the day on a dessert date sharing 3 giant cookies with Lindsey for an hour and a half.

Thanksgiving itself had a cold whipping wind all day keeping us indoors. Often when I thought about the holiday in the days leading up, it reminded me of Goliath, taunting me and provoking me to anxiousness. I remember praying back to God His Word when I was anxious about it all, the Philippians 4 passage about how prayer with thanksgiving is the prescription for the symptom of anxiousness. My bride and I discussed what we should do and felt it best to keep our day open, with hindsight I don’t recall asking God what He wanted our Thanksgiving to look like. We got invited to homes, we had an offer to bring a dinner to us; in the end we had a simple squash dish and some pie. This certainly was not a Thanksgiving where feasting and an abundant harvest was a focus.

I thought of things to say and songs to sing but couldn’t find a fitting time to share it. I made time to look at videos and photos hoping to remind us of the treasury of loving moments with my son, only a few of us wanted to go there. I had Simon’s “thankfulness car” ready to roll but didn’t. These planned efforts felt like shouting “hello” in a cave with no echo calling back though I expected one. But the Lord was near, He gave us a midday nap, a home improvement project to keep our mind nimble in the afternoon, grandparents to help out with the kids, a little bit of soccer and football to distract, and a wholehearted prayer at dinner time. I threw all I got into thanking God for the way my life is without Simon and thankful for the treasure of 6 years with Simon. It was not easy. I didn’t expect it to be. I did expect God to help Shepherd us, I felt like He did.

Going to church that weekend brought victory, the David victory over this Goliath. Our worship songs opened my heart before the Lord, giving me a vantage point over Thanksgiving Day itself. I sang: “I know that He can do it, He said He’d lead me through it, He’s able!!” I stood on that truth, that is what my God did for me on Thanksgiving day!

Another song we sang served as an idol checker, it simply stated: “I just want to tell you Jesus that I love you more than anything.” That reminded me that the real battle within my heart and mind is to keep laying down my son at the feet of Jesus, to not want him back more than I want Jesus. Jesus Christ is first! First served, first loved, first talked to in all that I go through. How recalibrating it was to sing that and mean it with all I got.

The message that day revisited a passage of Scripture that spoke sweetly to me in the earlier days of losing Simon. It was a comfort to revisit.

All this I gathered into my heart, and asked God to fan the flames of my faith because I need Him.