Dear Prayer Warriors,
God brought us home from the hospital after four days. I
meant to write but my ability to concentrate diminishes the more sleep deprived
I am. Thanks for praying faithfully even when I am not faithful at updating you
all. We were so tired. Anna came home with an oxygen tank for the nights. I’ll always
have a little pep in my step during discharge days; I get excited about the
betterment, God’s hand of healing being so evident and it marks the end of
family unit separation. I love resettling at headquarters (home) it makes me
happy because I know Anna is embracing her familiar, family things, routines,
and uninterrupted sleep.
We have continued hardships and demands with Anna. This used
to be a girl who slept through the night with no cords attached six months ago.
Let’s believe that the Lord can restore such peaceful rest because right now she’s
got the cannula on, the pulse ox, and a continuous night feed into the
intestine. She’ll wake after about 2-3 hours crying needing suctioning or supplemental
food. We have been short on sleep but we always make it a point to thank God
for the sleep we did get rather than focus on the sleep we didn’t get.
In a way I feel this current trial more significantly than
more medically dangerous ones because there is a spiritual attack intensifying things.
Many spiritual warfare elements are compounded in this current storm.
1. Temptations
of various kinds are more frequent. Praise God that temptation is the
opportunity to run to the Mighty Warrior who saves rather than the sin. I feel
my mind is weak and rambling allowing me to laugh at foolish things or impulse
buy the entire Little Debbie catalog. Even stuff that has been Christ’s victory
in my life for ages tries to rear its ugly head. I go to Jesus and draw upon His
past victories in me. He waits with me in the temptation and soon enough it goes
away.
2. I find myself in the heat of the moment believing lies that I know the
Bible counters but the lie suits my mood better. There is only defeated when
thinking I lean on my own understanding. I am eager to take my thoughts captive
and assess its source then reject or accept it.
3. In times of exhaustion in
caregiving I find myself frustrated at Anna, feeling defeated as my
suctioning/repositioning/drug administration only irritates her into a Cerebral
Palsy extension and tears. In the past I would be overwhelmed like that and
just stop and pray. But recently I get impatient, continue the task even though
I should relent. The situation is basically me going on my own strength instead
of crying out to God for His nearness. Anna will always have it harder than me
that why I must gladly serve her. God has given me a memory verse to recite to
offset that moment of frustration. So when Anna extends and is inconsolable, I
say to the Lord: “You will keep the mind that is dependent on You in perfect peace, for it is trusting in You.” Isaiah 26:3
Please Pray:
-For Anna’s oxygen level in her blood to stay high 95% or
better without supplemental oxygen.
-For her airway to be clear not needing suctioning, steroids,
or the “shaky vest”
-For providers to all the benefits Anna qualifies for but we
don’t receive (night nurses (we still have 5 nights without a nurse), for a
respite care provider, a house cleaning, for the ramp for the van)
-For patience as we wait for God’s leading regarding Anna’s
reflux. We need her to tolerate a higher intestine feeding before we can
consider the Nissen surgery.
-For God’s holy, presence, Jesus’ imputed righteousness and
the Spirit’s illumination of Scripture to keep me strong in the Lord for the
fight at hand.
-For the family devotion time to be moved successfully after
dinner time because our bedtime to-do list has become too long.
-For strength and gratitude as we wait. We wait for Jesus,
for Anna’s healing, for every spiritual blessing, for our trails to conclude.
Happy Mother's day,
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