I wanted to respond to my last entry. Corny, cheesy are words that come to mind. I am in a whimsical, swept off my feet, intimate relationship with Jesus. Still though, as a believer, there is a need for stern accountability. Not just “rain drops on roses and whiskers on kittens.” Which came across big last entry.
I know I’m dearly loved and treasured by God. That’s why Satan is angry of my professions of Jesus Christ as lion in my jungle. My mind is fitting for that image. I am a guided bomb of joy because of my faith in Christ. As Sun Ra would say “this world is Angels and Demons at play” but inside my world I’m constantly asking for the dismissal of demons namely Satan.
I know the lurking, chameleonesque qualities of the Devil. He shows up at my work constantly. Satan commissions people so his willing minions sometimes come face to face with me. So if I’m busy on cloud 9 with Jesus these actors for sin and Satan will be effective in their ploy. (I’m not talking devil worshippers though some may be.
I’m talking more about the person with that goes to the men’s bathroom and plasters a bomb threat on the wall. He makes my grammar look good. As I research footage, I see the person amped on something with death on his face. No shame, remorse or warmth. Then I realize that I’m totally under-reacting. What is the fairness in the fact that Satan can conspire with the broken to play with a community’s fear? Moreover, instill in me (a follower of Christ) a passive: “the dude was high on something” attitude.
As lovers of the Lord can we threaten lives of a community with forgiveness and hugs? I makes me think of activists that claim to be from a Christian perspective. The secular world lumps all of Christianity as such because of the acting out few. At least you can’t say they’re apathetic. I’ve been talking lots about this with a co-worker that generalizes Christians instead of seeing them as spiritual beings having a one on one relationship with Jesus.
That said, I wanted to revert back to the accountability piece. After Vacation Bible School this summer, where I earned my stripes as Ref Nic (referee/activity leader). One of the mom’s of the church came up to me and said something along the lines of: “Thanks so much for being a part of VBS. I think its great that the kids have someone your age to hold accountable for what it means to live for Jesus.” Double gulp. Uhh, yeah about that... Where did I sign up for the late 20’s representative for the Lord? Few chats have impacted me more during my first year as a believer. This faith commitment is nonstop and defining. The pressure of being an example is not much of a burden if all is brought in the light. Consistance of character baby!
So I try to be an example all the time. At church, at my work, in my family, and especially behind closed doors. Represent, represent-zent! That said, I believe earlier in the book of James it says that we as believers are asked to confess our sins to one another. “So that we may be healed.” -Not forgiven, but healed. I am only forgiven by Jesus Christ. Well here it is: My brother and I have been working on my new home for about six weeks now and I’ve supplied him with ample beer throughout. It’s just something he does when he works. I’ve held my own ground by not joining him at all (even when the fridge had many). Last night I was just chillin’ and all of a sudden I wasn’t convinced that I’ve completely repented from this sin (drunkeness not drinking). So I drank, disobeyed, broke my promise and tested what I thought was repentance.
To remove the temptation, I brought it to my old apartment, which is almost empty. I am weak to have missed that feeling and a sinner for my lack of self-control. God gave me months of no alcohol so I can’t underrate that victory. I know I’m treasured by Jesus! So I can’t dwell on the self imposing guilt or give any little credit to the devil. This faith walk thing is hard, its in the mercy of the blood that I am free. And by the grace of God’s love that I’m healing. Which in turn, is how I learn to be accountable.
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