I Got A Love

I got a love. This lover cares about me more than my mom worries about me. This one-of-a-kind friend loves my feelings more then my looks; eat your heart out girls. Even though I go out of my way to look smooth and crispy, it’s my inner being that is the object of attraction. Can you believe it? Our relationship has beauty, and not the In Touch magazine kind of beautiful. We were totally made for each other.

Meeting the family, I was super-nervous. I was so sure that I was going to be judged, compared to, and then told to loose weight (you know more like my family). Almost all of them didn’t care… Instead they wanted to see how we were gonna fly together, they were super encouraging and made sure that I got to know exactly who I was making a commitment to.

We’re flying the friendly skies. The good times don’t last forever except maybe in heaven. Its totally sinking in... I’m not good enough, the things I do are so bland, unhealthy and selfish. I doubt someone who reads to the blind and gives restaurant leftovers to the bums really wants to come home to moody-me. This isn'tan invite to hate on Nic, I love myself for the most part. Its like the old song goes: “I’m just a song and a dance; you’re a symphony!” When we’re together, I’m actually experiencing love: everything from the confiding, the support, and simple light-hearted joy. It’s great to get the affection of a lover who is flat out good and good to me. Ours is deeper than the emotional feeling of love, it’s an invested relationship. The constant communication is nice, for now… Lets just say its something I need to get used to.

I know I can’t find anyone better, believe me I’ve tried. So now the question is this: will we see each other through a paragraph, page, chapter or end of my life? What is it I have thats good enough for me to be loved so tremendously? I’m starting to set our hopes and dreams on marriage. Its still a long ways away, but I will stay committed and devoted until that great day of total union!!

The gig is up: I’m in love with Jesus Christ (my lover by sacrifice, my brother by obedience to God, my spiritual mate by His Holy Spirit alive within me, my teacher by example and my judge because of His perfection). I know, in the Bible it doesn’t say that Christ gave His restaurant leftovers or that He read to the blind. It was simple "what if" thinking to indicate the contrast of how I want to act now that Christ’s spirit prompts me. Afterall He died for me so I am to live for Him. I think Paul clearly states how great it is to be single: so that the centralization of one’s devotion is exclusively for Jesus. Similarly, In the words of a great Jazz standard: “I’m putting all my eggs in one basket, I’m putting everything I got on you.” That being, faith alive in acts.

Tonight, I came from an incredibly encouraging time of exploring the status of my personal relationship with Jesus. There was this ensuing joy that I wanted to express so this came out. Sorry for the parts where the metaphors really don’t lign up with the character of Jesus or myself. I tried dearly not to indicate gender. What’s funny was that the first draft was a “Valley Girl” in love/dating Jesus. She said “like, LOL, and OMG” at least once in every sentence.