The last few days of the years have been challenging: Everything from choosing the right curtains in my new place to nearly being fired. Add a night of Salsa dancing, a tear-filled sermon and the Nickster is spent.
The thing I wanted to highlight was the night of dancing. I generally can keep a beat. In trying to Salsa, I find that I really can’t keep beat, count, lead and not step on toes at the same time. I had some super patient partners that rotated so none of them got stuck with me all night (I did improve mind you).
Dancing aside I was feeling some serious social anxiety. We went to this rather hip Salsa club with a fat $10 cover. I knew that I would never see these people again (save my friends) but still, everyone was watching me dance badly and the only thing I could do about it is not dance or not care. I did both and in that order. My manic mind was fuel for the Devil to say: “This isn’t you Nic. What are you thinking? You left all this behind, you should hate this.”
That snowballed into: “Who do these women think they are to display their sexuality like it’s a thing to be displayed, touched and passed on. And the scumbag guys with their big eyes getting cheap thrills because they touched, mingled and imposed themselves as a leader.” Oh and did I mention the Vodka reps. with lighted accessories?
As my thinking was brewing judgementalness, hate and consequential anxiety I prayed and shared with a friend. Somewhere in there, I realize that God was at work in this situation. The Holy Spirit through grace has switched out my notorious sins of drinking, lusting and mental conspiring. That night, those pitfalls were replaced with this over-protective layer of love, where a light-hearted innocence would keep my eyes righteous and my mind for the Lord. While dancing, I was either looking at my partner’s feet or eyes. (I did check out lots of guy’s feet to see where I was going wrong.)
As a result, my mentality changed, I willingly participated in an event that is quite aside from everything I normally do. I had joy and the Bible passage that says we are to be innocent to sin (I thought it was in Thessalonians but couldn’t find it). I was the guy at the club with no sexual vibe or loosened logic.
God redeems those notorious old trenches of my life! Praise and thank Him for answering my prayers of hopelessness and guilt for such outdated sins.
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