Sunday, May 4, 2008

The Word Inside Me: Christlikeness

Sundays are my day to rest. Though I’m going places, it is to gain spiritual milk that I need for the week to come and the life ahead. So I don't feel rested, but I'm able to think about the content of what the day held. I had a wake up lecture in Sunday school about proving God exists and the changes that argument has taken through the years. This included learning the Ontological view, the Kalaam view, the anthropological view and one other that started with a "D". Some theories still stand today some sink.

It’s hard for me to explain how obvious God is, when He's obvious to the unbeliever/listener. Its almost as if I need to defend my faith without the use of the Bible in order to be heard. That's why testimonies are relevant and need to be shared. Since God works on the heart level first, I think testimonies need to have that heart and emotional pull. That said I have one month to prepare a even more thorough testimony for Christ love of me.


The sermon at church was on 1Peter 2:2-3. This is about growing up in the goodness of the Lord and knowing that He is good. We are called to grow, like most things in life. The Bible is to 1 hear, 2 obey/do, 3 memorize, 4 meditate and I forget the last one. That is spiritual growth at its center. By this we please God not people. By this God is the first thing added in our lives. Being born again means needing spiritual milk for formation, preservation and salvation. We must seek it out and crave the Bible everyday, with intense desire. Without it, I might gain a spiritual eating disorder as the pastor says. Which I currently have and need prayer for fixing. I could use much more of the Bible in my life. Praise God for placing me around many people who love being in the Word daily and letting me know their findings.

One of the best tools and strong holds in my life last year was my structured Bible study. I'm still in it (huge) but I save all the weeklong assignments for the last day. God works less in it than last year because I put less into it. I know I've been going through a lot these last two months but still I should be going at it with the Bible at my side, notes read and questions answered. Discovering Gods beauty, love, graciousness and kindness are impossible without finding it first in the pages of His Holy Word.

Jesus is the Word. Jesus is inside me. I pray that I sync them up together, right now they’re out of whack.

At my young adult group we talked about Ezekiel focusing on chapter 33. How he was not only answering God's call as it came amid a horrific sin culture. He was also to be the watchman announcing God's sword/wrath. So we discussed the importance of being a watchman to fellow Christians regarding sin in their lives. We are to be a watchman for unbelievers too, convicting and helping them see the wrath that is impending.

The thing that I was stumped by is similar to what someone else said: the watchman pulls the fire alarm and those who hear it, chose to obey the warning, get out and are saved. Others die. But at what time in my faith life am I transitioning from being someone who heard the fire alarm and runs out; to being an actual watchman? The pastor suggested that often times the newest believers are the most effective watchmen.

So yes there was lots and lots of substance to what I heard on Sunday. It can't just leave me... I got a bad/damaged memory so I really need to pay attention to the Word of God in my life, at church events, and around me so it can stay in me. My time at the Judgment Seat hopefully won't only be about Jesus’ death or how spiritual milk went in one ear and out the other thus disappearing from my life. I hope Jesus Christ will remember how He lived in me and I counted on Him as vicar in my life.

Friday, May 2, 2008

Mind Chatters. Heart Matters.

I write often of my struggles with sin (shaming Satan), anxiety about my job (exposing me straight-up) or my earnest growth with Jesus (glorifying Him).

I am smart, though not head strong. I had:

A headache from sin,
A forgetfulness by drugs,
A concussion from false Gods,
A brainwashing from Satan,
A laceration of depression.
A hemorrhage of self-discovery.
A breaking of reality.
A head-butt for 28 years of my life.

I submitted myself to all these things willingly, most of them I sought out.

Jesus is faithful, can't lie and is the sacrificial Lamb that pleases/obeys/loves our Father. I don't please/obey the Father because of His standard. Jesus alone pleased and completely obeyed, (I never understood this before being born again). I thought God's will was an all-access any-way, any-time will just because we are people, people! Now I know, through grace and humility that I am to please/obey/love Christ. To turn to Christ (God's cherished light for humanity) and continue to find restoration for that gimpy mind. God's will and His work are prepared thanks to the Holy Spirit -so lets roll up our sleeves and git it done.

Lets depart into light heartedness and joy, whose only source is the Holy Spirit. My mind isn't changing overnight, -Though in one defined moment of time; I did let Jesus Christ into my heart to change it once and for all. Praise his mercy. My mind has a tough time with patience, serving, and confidence.

So by the way... Right after being served my "final warning" paperwork at work, I snatched up a thief today that had concealed $190.00 of CD's and clothing. I didn't badger him. As I wrote my report waiting for the police, I would pause and stare blankly at something and offer up a silent prayer to Jesus about thanks for the provision of the apprehension (which encourages my confidence hugely). And two, that heart of this 26-year-old thief is convicted to looking outside of himself for the truth in Christ. That he might endure enough brokenness to find surrendering to Jesus.

Who knows, I can always pray right? God is so merciful that He meets us where we're at right? I was slam-dunked by sin and wretchedness until the day Jesus offered and asked me to come in. I was glazed over by muck and yuck with black eyes, forget it. I live with wonder and hope now.

I read a passage earlier in the week and again randomly today, I came across it in my "Gideon’s: a random point-n-read worship time" (as I like to call it). That Bible is so small I can't read more than a chapter at a time. I digressed, Its Revelations, in last chapter of the whole Word of God. Verse eleven in the NIV "Let him who does wrong continue to do wrong; let him who is vile continue to be vile; let him who is right continue to do right; and let him who is holy continue to be holy."


So thanks for the prayers and hope. The big picture perspective in Jesus is mine to keep and I forget that often. You remind me of what God sees, and sees in me; not merely what my work thinks of me. I'll keep on being that dearly loved child of God, who I am. Peace.