Trusting Victorious Jesus

Dear Anna’s Prayer Warriors,

I have much light to shed, God is breaking though our trials, wisdom is needed, and we have a hunger for miracles as we wait…

 

Anna is in the middle of another viral illness. Her last illness included a 5 day inpatient stay, and lasted longer than the March Madness Tournament altogether. These trials shape us no doubt; I can see how a fresh wave of dependence on God floods our family during each of her illnesses, which is grace. Anna’s respiratory ills cause large quantities of mucus to squat in her throat and sinus; she cannot manage then out on her own. I have sense of reluctance every time I flip that suction machine on, yet I know there are families like mine in an impoverished country that might not own a hospital grade suction machine.

We are headfirst in medical decisions regarding Anna’s reflux. The continuous feeds for 24 hours (up from 20) have eliminated nearly everything from going into her stomach. We feed Anna only 12 ounces throughout the day by mouth. Lindsey is carefully calculating new strategies to raise Anna’s immune system as a whole with vitamins and supplements. She calculates Anna’s feeding like a nutritionist, it’s impressive. All this has reduced the reflux from 40 times a day to about 10 Praise God.  It’s still about 10 times too many. We feel the Nissen Fundoplication surgery is the way to go. That comes with new possible problems.

We interviewed another night nurse in the hopes of having coverage three nights a week. There is such a shortage of these great workers; it’s almost as if they are the ones interviewing us because so many families need them.

May I be candid? The needs of Anna are across many fronts (medical, insurance, feeding, therapy, mobility, school, sickness). We are daily addressing an issue, Lindsey and I often see things differently, we are tired frequently. I notice myself clutching onto my daughter’s needs as something that I have to take care of, like it’s all up to me. Just last night I was acting like a helicopter parent with our night nurse, I was being all nitpicky about the angle of the bed and Anna’s positioning. So it comes down to surrender and trust. It seems that a callus has grown from all these circumstances that make me think on my wits and planning rather than dependence God.

To phrase it another way:  I see the cares of this life really taking over. I’m making reference to the parable of the Sower in Matthew 13:1-9 and 13:18-23. The worries for Anna’s wellbeing, the “care of this life” are significant servant ones. However they are literally snuffing out my time in God’s Word. And sure Daddy God gives me grace day after day. But in my heart I feel challenged to place my trust in Christ afresh regarding all things Anna and return to a guarded time in His Word. This might be stretching the parable but I need to be repotted:) 

Please Pray:

-For a return of study in God’s Word regularly (I want to minister God’s Word to people and be a man of prayer). Praise God we still have our nightly devotions as a family.

-For the Holy Spirit to remind me when I need to trust and pray thing off my plate.

-For a supernatural healing of Anna’s GERD eliminating reflux without invasive feedings or surgery.

-For the Rino Virus to be cast out of Anna and Simon, that her oxygen levels stay above 90

-For wisdom in choosing night nurses, when to return to preschool, and the various medical decisions especially about the Nissen Fundoplication.  

-For the letters of medical necessity to be approved by Medicaid so we can start new therapies and get a ramp for our van.

-For the complex schedule department to find dates for the things Anna needs done under general anesthesia.  

**Thank you for praying for Lindsey and I we continue to share our hearts together with increasing ease and joy, the date night was super!! People from our church watched our kids and another couple from church gave us a generous gift card for our dinner. How sweet it was.

Love,

The Currats

God's Wrath and Me

God is unleashing wrath on His creation out of necessity, not just because we’re bad, or because we need to learn a lesson, or because it was foretold, no it’s more: God’s wrath always contains the purpose to punish sin and preserve His righteousness. This wrath gives the illusion that God is wicked, but He isn’t because He gave us Jesus, the Lamb of God (wrath bearer).   This biblical teaching, that God is wrathful, is hard to believe if you reject Jesus.

Personally I see God as uncompromisingly holy because His wrath upholds His Word and affirms His non-compromise in judging sin. It’s fair because the righteousness required by God to be wrath-exempt is furnished free of charge by Jesus’ life crucified on the cross.

Even upon Christ’s Lordship in one’s heart, even after submission to God’s Word and even after many acts of service no saint stand exempt from God’s wrath. I go through God’s wrath though not as much as I once did. What can we make of this nasty wrath?

Historically God’s wrath is present via the plagues in Egypt, the flood, etc... It is also present in the future promise of the Lord’s Day when the whole earth is consumed in “the fire of My jealous anger.” But what does God’s wrath look like in this present time and day? An example of present wrath can be like a drinker who is given over to drunkenness. They seek after booze so much that God allows full-fledged alcoholism to reside and play out in devastating ways.

God does not call me to be an agent of wrath. Some like the police or military have that call on their life as permitted by God to uphold social order (which is a common grace to all). Then we can consider God’s wrath as it appears in nature like a natural disaster. It seems like only God is to blame for this destruction. My father died in an avalanche when I was a toddler and this misplaced feeling of anger toward God made me blame Him for the death of my father and made my childhood hard.

I think the right response in enduring the Lord’s wrath is humility mainly because of His omnipresence. Only a fool would say “I got this wrath.” God’s present wrath is an opportunity to open up to God “right then and there” and to give Jesus your burden. God’s wrath is too much to bear, or to handle solo. Ask for help, equipping, ask for time to pass, for the Holy Spirit to minister peace and wisdom through the suffering. Blaming God might feel good but it undermines His plan and purposes. We would be wise to fear God and depend on Jesus fully.

“Who understands the power of Your anger? Your wrath matches the fear that is due You.” Psalm 90:11 HCSB (translated many interesting ways check it out)  

Storming the Throne Room

Prayer Team,

My favorite side story in the whole “passion week” of our Savior is the washing of the disciple’s feet. I am so encouraged by the humility and servant heart of Jesus. In my guessing, He had to deny Himself in order to do this: His foreknowledge, His feelings, and His status. Jesus held His tongue as He held Judas’ feet knowing in hours Judas would turn Him in. The denier Peter reluctantly got clean feet as Jesus talked Him through it, reeling Peter in while keeping His emotions in check. Jesus chose to wash “doubting” Thomas’ feet as a teacher teaching a disciple rather than what was really going on: The King of kings, the King of Glory was washing the feet of sinners the day before He made atonement for all of mankind.

Please Pray:

This Thursday the 13^th Anna will have a procedure to install a GJ tube in the hopes of eliminating her reflux. Her existing G-tube will be replaced with two tubes one to the stomach and the other depositing in the intestine. This needs to be threaded with an x-ray video so we are talking potentially a large amount of radiation here.

-Please pray that it would be done with great skill   

and accuracy.

-With the least amount of exposure to radiation.

-that it would effectively treat Anna’s reflux as this is the last non-surgical treatment for reflux.  

We had a follow-up with Neurology about an EEG that Anna had last week. The test still showed Hypsarrhythmia with the absence of seizures. Our Doc said that the long term impact of these chaotic brainwaves will most likely affect her cognition. Lindsey then talked about observable “gains” (abilities/milestones) that Anna has done. They are few, even the Neurologist agreed. He dug through Anna’s past MRIs and found one that pictures a brain formation seemingly abnormal. He did not elaborate in case it is nothing, however he did order a one hour MRI under general anesthesia to get a better picture. He said that it could be a diagnosis different from the Hypoxic Ischemic event she had before birth.

-Pray for a peace that surpasses understanding as our minds are tempted to fear regarding another possible brain diagnosis.

-For courage to love and empower Anna to the fullness of the ability that God has given her no matter the gains.

-For the hypsarrythmia to be cast our and with it all the potential long term effects.

-for full healing because we are praying to the

Healer.

Praise God Anna started preschool last week at Fletcher Miller. It is a school exclusive to special needs people ages 3-21. It’s been around for 50 years and they have a program that we are very excited about that aligns with Anna’s IEP. The first day went poorly, Anna could not stop refluxing. The teachers and para assigned to her were glad to get rid of her and gave us a talking to like we didn’t know how bad her reflux was. We have gone two other times and have had much more success and time to talk things through.

-Please pray for Anna to not be distracted by her medical conditions while in school.

-For no reflux, or anything else that would make her undesirable to work with. We want her loved on there and not seen as a burden to be avoided.

-For our family to be available, attentive, and used by the God as a witness to the huge special needs community at that school; That we could articulate God’s story of His glory in Anna.  

Praise God for a date night coming up this Saturday night. Lindsey and I have really dug our heels in and become intentional with our time after the kids go to bed. We have focused on eye-to-eye time and rich communication. This has been a source of renewal and strength. I get the chance to improve my listening!

Great blessings in Christ,

Nic, Lindsey, Anna, and Simon.