Dear Prayer Warriors,
I remember the
first time I touched Anna. It was after many doctors and nurses, about an hour
after she had been born in silence, motionless. Lindsey had just been moved to
a room and the birth doctors came in one after another and gave us post-operation
updates. They wanted permission to transfer Anna to a hospital that has a
Neonatal intensive care unit (NICU). Immediately after consent we got a phone
call from the head Neonatologist at the other hospital asking to do a
hypothermia treatment to slow the circulation of blood running through her
brain. Anna had toxic, acidic blood running through her body which indicated
hypoxic ischemia (lack of oxygen in the blood). I remember being on the phone asking
simple knee jerk questions about it like “Is it necessary?” or “would you do it
if it was your kid?” I repeated to Lindsey everything the doctor was telling me
over the phone. Amid all these events unfolding incredibly fast, Lindsey and I did
not have a second to ourselves. After all this, I was invited to the nursery to
meet Anna without Lindsey.
Anna was intubated
and gaining strength under a heat lamp in the nursery. I was afraid to
touch her because she was motionless, the wires and tubes seemed so delicate.
The doctor encouraged me burrow my finger into Anna’s tiny hand. It must have
been the first touch Anna got without plastic gloves. I placed my left pinky
finger in the preemie palm of her left hand and sang the hymn, Wonderful
Grace of Jesus. It was a song we sang around her in utero almost every day.
For the months leading up, Anna had become familiar with the joyous tune of
that hymn. That day the song came out of my trembling mouth, choppy, I was
weeping and yet the words and melody of the song were strengthening my broken
heartedness. In response, Anna tightened her fingers around my pinky and opened
her eyes for the first time. This was miraculous.
I told Anna many
words of affirmation, “spoke life” into her, I prayed over her, and the joy of
being a first-time father flooded the scene. God gave me awe and wonder at the features
I spent 6 and a half months wondering about, but now see them for the first
time. That energized my heart. What a Shepherd our God is on the days of greatest
trial! Next, we had to place Anna on the alter of the Lord as we remained at
the birth hospital without her. Lindsey was afforded only a toe touch as Anna
was being wheeled into the ambulance. My heart breaks for how much harder this
all was for Lindsey. She didn’t see Anna for another two days until her discharge
while I was going back and forth from the hospitals.
By God’s grace I feel encouraged recalling these things and remembering
the joy of connecting with Anna that first time amid the frenzy. We don’t
harbor a dark closet of unforgiveness, anger, or resentment toward God
regarding Anna and her injuries. I know that much of these prayer emails contain
lamenting before the Lord, at times it can seem like we are despairing, and sometimes
I sin by writing from that emotional state without the Spirit’s bridle and
sending the prayer requests in haste. Nonetheless, the language of lamenting through
our trial, sharing it for prayer, and remembering it; has been very productive
in keeping us in love with God. We want all credit, praise, and glory to go to
God. He has used our lament to refine our souls, rather than harden our hearts. We are His. That is sweetness in lamenting. God’s grace producing
from our weakness and neediness a testimony for His glory. I felt prompted to
dig up the very first prayer request I sent the day after Anna’s birth. Upon
rereading this I see the Spirit of Christ in the tone, there is no jumping to
conclusions, I see a hopeful first-time dad just asking for prayer. Here is the
first update, the subject line read: Anna Elizabeth Currat.
“Thank you to all our prayer
warriors out there. It is with joy and faith in God's plan that we welcomed
Anna Elizabeth into the world Sunday morning at 9:46. She was at 34
weeks 4 days. She is 4lbs 9ounces. Lindsey had an emergency c-section
because the baby was not responding to a non-stress
test. But praise God for her heart beat. That was the only thing that
was going strong. The umbilical chord was wrapped around her neck
twice, minimizing the flow of oxygen and nutrients from Lindsey. She
had also passed meconium, a sign that she was distressed.
Lindsey and I in need of rest.
We are at Swedish covenant hospital, and our baby, sweet Anna, is at
Evanston hospital where they have a great neo-natal care team. Anna is
in critical condition because there is acid in her blood that she need to
metabolically process out. In order to do that, her organs need
to be working a bit more than they are now. She is also on a respirator
because her lungs are weak. It's a 72 hour wait before any full
assessment.
Lindsey's mom is coming out from
Seattle. There are some glorious stories about God's providence and timing that
I am leaving out. Lets call upon The Lord to send His Spirit to hover
over us. Things are fragile and in Gods hands.
Bless you.
Nic and Lindsey, and Anna
Specific prayers:
For the metabolic processing of the
acid
Against brain damage
For her lungs to work strongly
For Anna's organs to continue to
mature
For God to be her peace and comfort;
she must be so scared
For Nic and Lindsey as shock wears
off and reality sets in, may we remain hopeful
For Lindsey's incision to heal
quickly
For a good milk supply for Lindsey
when Anna is ready to eat
That we would get to hold her
sometime soon”
Thank you for praying us into the Lord for years, placing
us in the pathway of His blessings, what a Good Shepherd!
The Currat’s
