Casting My Corona Cares on Him

 

Dear Praying Warrior,

Merry Christmas, thank you for your gift to us in the form of praying for Anna and us. I know there are some people who pray everyday for us, others who do so when they get this, and still others that pray when God places us on their mind. All of it is a tremendous encouragement in love for us. I can think of no better way of exercising our hope in God than to pray. I want to apologize for not updating sooner. I have found myself more tired than usual with the demands of working at Target and loving my family well. Recently, there has been dryness in my walk with the Lord. This entry is a good deal about my walk with God as Anna’s father amid the Coronavirus. Feel free to skip down to the prayer requests that are more squarely about Anna, asking for prayers for Anna is of first importance. 

 

We have been blessed during this Coronavirus. Some of the noteworthy blessings include health, employment, lower APR on our mortgage, greater accessibility for Anna in our home, a great start to homeschooling, my bride and I have lost a combined 70 pounds, and the icing on the cake came in the form of a church that we didn’t know of reaching out to us at Christmas wanting to be the hands and feet of Jesus. They eagerly came alongside us in prayer, Christmas cards, and gifts to the fame of God.

 

Once the Coronavirus came to my neighborhood, all I could think about was Anna lung history, aspiration, airway clearing issues, Trachiamalacia and her Chronic Atelectasis. For me, this year has been a time to “check yo’ self” on a faith level and I have found Jesus to be both Sovereign and Protector. When I say “I have found Jesus to be” that means that I went looking this year. Do I really believe those 2 things about who God is, or is that just my Christian lip service?

 

 Surrendering all things Coronavirus to Jesus’ care has been a test in trusting His sovereignty.  Somewhere along the way of becoming a husband, a father, home owner, financial provider, a nice car driver, the stakes got higher. There is more to trust God with now. I struggled to hand things over to God, my bride frequently reminded me that God is in control whenever I would bring a news headline to her attention. "Even if the Coronavirus comes to us, He will be with us." It's almost as if within my marriage we were battling the virus differently with me as the personification of “works” and Lindsey was the personification of “faith”. I adhered to all the best practices and due diligence for minimizing the likeliness of contracting the virus and Lindsey kept on praising God. Lindsey helped me see that I stuck my head in the news a bit too often. If Jesus is the Rock I’m standing on, why was I distressed over what the Coronavirus might/could/maybe do to a little girl with a history of lung problems? I wondered if my stance of “works” was really a lack of “faith”.

 

Working 40 hour a week with the general public during the pandemic created a nervousness within that wasn’t quenched by a mask and sanitizer. Some of my coworkers’ chatter at work contributed to this growing fear within. In my self-righteousness I felt justified to worry because of Anna. I had gotten so desperate one day that I just stopped everything and asked myself: Can God really protect me from microbes? Looking back, I see Satan trying to use Anna’s disability as a foothold, actively tempting me to take control of my life rather than to offer it up to the Lord. I relented and asked Jesus to protect me.  By God’s grace this test came to a head with a sincere appetite for God’s protection rather than running away from Him.

 

In my quiet times, it became apparent that my view of Omnipotent God had gotten small. It is out of God’s love for me that he protects me!  As Anna's father I want power to control all the variables, however there are too many variables for me to control. I can’t control everything, so I pray to the One who is Sovereign and commit what I can control over to Him. Many times, on my way to work my repeated prayer has been “Jesus you have always been my protector from unseen things, that includes Coronavirus today.” The Bible pretty clearly states that the cure for anxiety and worry is prayer, I think I was slow in my prayer closet about presenting these things in faith to God. There was a time where my “works” preceded my “faith” in dealing with the pandemic. Now I got faith first with a can of Lysol not far behind.

 

I want to leave you with a sweet prayer. Simon is growing a heart for prayer in his 4-year-old body and soul. His passion to pray ebbs and flows, but when its on, phew, he shares the sweetest words of faith to a listening Lord. “There’s so much to praise You for, the thankfuls never end. You are in control. Amen.” I don't want to forget this prayer.

“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed – not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence – continue to work out your salvation with fear (reverence) and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his purpose.” Phil 2:12-13

 

Please Pray for:

 

- Anna’s wrists. Her persistent chewing and biting breaks her skin in several spots. Grandma Sandy has made dozens of custom finger braces that work great however Anna still finds ways to get to the skin. It’s a self-soothing comfort issue mixed with saliva management; she has been biting her wrists daily since she was less than 2. May the Lord redirect her hand chewing tendency, and improve her secretion management.

 

- Anna’s hips. For God to supernaturally reverse the subluxation occurring with the femur and hip socket joint. That her hip joint would grow in correctly. Her Cerebral Palsy muscle tone, Dystonia, and being non-weight bearing are the primary cause for this hardship.

 

- Anna’s eyes. May she continue to progress in ability with the eye-gaze devices so that one day she could effectively communicate. This would open up so many more way to teach school to Anna. Recently we were told that Colorado Springs has a great school for the blind. Pray that this coming year we would see if it is a fit for Anna.  Anna has cortical visual impairment and optic nerve atrophy as visual challenges. 

 

-Anna’s lungs. This year’s sleep study showed that she still needs the help keeping her lungs open at night. We are still on 2 kinds of meds to help her breath effectively. Praise God that Anna has not been sick to the point of needing oxygen in many months. Anna has chronic atelectasis and tracheomalacia.  

 

-Anna’s brain. Something I forget to pray for often is her periventricular leukomalacia, hydrocephalus, and polymicrogyria. The first diagnosis happened the first year of her birth and she is living with the results from it today. Anna has holes in the white matter of her brain where once there was brain cells now there are holes. Pray for Anna’s shunt tube, valve that they would not get infected or shift in their placement in her brain and body. That her hydrocephalus would be managed well by the provision of such medical advances. There are no surgeries or medicinal treatments for the holes and for her polymicrogyria. They are there impacting her disability until the Maker of the brain can restore her brain back to the original design and intent for which He designed it.

 

-Anna’s sleep. Nurse Emily continues to be terrific in providing 3 nights of refreshing rest a week for us. During the night we manage Anna’s feeding, medication, diapering, repositioning, and airway clearing. I attend to Anna on the nights we don’t have a nurse and it has gotten a little more challenging. The medication needs to be given 3 different time during the night. On a good night that is mostly all I do. Recently Anna has been staying up, continuously trying to manage her secretions, or sometimes just chewing her hands. When she does this for 2-3 hours during the night, I need to monitor her more closely than just having the camera on her. 

 

-Anna’s therapies. Anna is a hard worker, she always feels up for working out. She seldom complains about putting in effort. May the Lord give vision to therapists Chelsea, Cassidy, Bruna, Dave, and Emma. That Anna would not just maintain her gains but that milestone to the glory of God would be achieved. We are praying about another intensive therapy session if we can arrange the timing and funding in the coming year.

-For God to be our help. A very real help in our days and hours of caring for our children and meeting their needs. The body of Christ, the church has always been so gracious to us in our needs.

With Love,

The Currats

The Praises of the Disabled

 

Prayer Warriors,

Praise the Name of the Lord. I savor the defense God writes in Job 38-40 of Him being the creator and sustainer of all things. Regardless of old earth/new earth the greater truth is that it’s God’s earth. What marvelous, thoughtful, omnipresence is constantly artistically on display in the creation’s causes and effects. The Lord knows what’s going on, when it goes down and where; so much so that He knows when even a mountain goat gives birth. 

 

Suffice to say, that one day in the year of our Lord 2014 He looked around at all the culmination of His creative hand and felt that His work wasn’t complete without a sweet little Anna Elizabeth. You see God didn’t create Anna before March 2nd 2014 because He knew He needed to invent and reveal ultrasounds, emergency C section deliveries, neonatal medicine, intubation, shunt brain surgeries, MRI’s, G-tube feeding, saliva reducing medicines etc... 

 

It doesn’t stop there, God waited for insurance programs and governmental mercies to develop to a point where equipping our family with what we need to take care of Anna doesn’t mean financial devastation or denial of needed care. Praise His holy name!! Anna’s providence from God reveals great grace and mercy from His hand! God knew all along that Anna would be born with such severe handicaps causing us to activate our faith by depending on Him. Anna is born for such a time as this. We worship our God who has given us so many years of hope and love with our firstborn. 

 

Many parents of disabled children “come to grips” or “have a peace” about the trajectory of their child, and that is a mercy. However, my heart’s appetite for God’s complete healing of Anna only increases. Not as a wedge of frustration between me and Him, nor as an idol to desire ahead of the Lord. Rather my fatherly desire to see my daughter well and optimized comes because God promises it to me by His Word -in His timing. Therefore, I simply want the fullness of His Word to come to pass. We are His children, receiving His blessing and good gifts. Seeking to do life His way. Therefore, couldn’t we asked to be treated exceptionally through His favor? And should Anna be healed tonight; all anyone would say is “the God of the Anna Currat is the living God!”

 

If Jesus already healed Anna, I would not have the testimony of His equipping nor would I continue writing these updates. Experientially, if Jesus had already healed Anna I wouldn’t experience moments like the following:

 

As I sat in church this past weekend in front of me was a grown woman with apparent physical and mental disabilities nothing as severe as Anna, she was able to greet us and listen well to the service. As we all worshipped, I observed such an exaltation to her Savior through her continuous arm gestures and sway of her being. I’m sure to the untrained eye she was a distraction, but I knew some of her gestures were a mix of voluntary and involuntary. Her countenance was that of adoration to her Savior, it was as if every song we sang was her favorite song. What an eager approval of exalting Jesus she was. This type of spiritual wisdom and maturity flowed freely from her, she was active in praise, in communion with the Spirit. 

 

While observing this lady and joining her in song before the Lord, we sang “When we arrive on eternity’s shore where death is just a memory and tears are no more. We’ll enter in as the wedding bells ring, /Your bride will come together and we’ll sing “Your beautiful.”” The thought came to me that Anna is eager for Jesus like this lady is, then a vision of Anna running around on eternity’s shore, standing, welcoming, singing as the wedding bells ring. What a glorious vision of God’s goodness for Anna. Completely removed from disability and suffering forever. 

 

The lady in front of me at church had no idea that I carry with me the disability of my daughter, she will never know how she encouraged my heart until the day the Lord tells her. God placed that disabled worshipper in front of me as a glimpse into what Anna’s heart is like when we worship at home and all we hear from her is coos and hums as we sing “intelligible” words.  God does not reject the praise of the disabled.

 

Praises:

 

-Praise and glory to God who brought us through 5 weeks or so without any overnight nursing. 

-Praise, I’ve been meaning to write and ask for provisions for nurses, and since then God has brought nurse Emily to Anna. She is a brand new nurse, this is her first case. So we are excited at what God will do through Anna and Emily. May he bond their hearts and find a friend for Anna.

-Praise God for the Body of Christ helping meet our needs. Two ladies Nicki and Deb, from our church have been supporting and caring for our kids to give Lindsey a break while I’m at work.

 -Praise, to our surprise received a wonderful report from Anna’s pediatric eye doctor. She is the one that did surgery on her eye muscles over two years ago. The Doctor noticed no degeneration of ability, no need for a stronger prescription. Both of those things the doctor expected to see. So despite Anna’s two vision diagnosis, Anna continues to use her eyes to engage with world, its just difficult to say how much. 

-Praise for losing two baby teeth naturally

 

Please Pray for:

-Anna to learn to communicate through an eye gaze device. Given this great report about her eyes, we got the endorsement of the eye doctor to try an eye-gaze communicative device. O how we long for Anna to express needs and wants beyond crying and smiling. We have just started this.

-Anna to stop chewing her hand. There are calluses and torn skin all around her right index finger, we have wonderful guards (thanks grandma) but they can’t keep up.

-Secretion management. Anna is cutting some molars right now so the saliva is complicating her sleep and drooling excessively.

-God to show us the best lift for Anna that our insurances will buy. She is just about 50 pounds and the most common lift takes up so much room. It is quickly becoming a need.

-Simon and Renee to allow their mother to engage Anna. They can go up to mom anytime. But we have to go to Anna, these dynamics show up every day and at times Lindsey is discouraged that she didn’t do what she wanted with Anna. Please pray for that one on one time.

Bless you!!

Nic, for Lindsey, Anna, Simon, and Renee

Experiencing Camping

 

Dear Prayer Warriors. 

 

I remember the first time I went to SouthEast Asia. It was my first time in a tropical place, my hair went from wavy to curly, my sweat clung to me like I had worked out all day, I could drink at 16 if I wanted, gamble. The milk got me sick, they were drying fish jerky at every other house, and people loved to karaoke. I’ll never forget going to a couple of places that were straight from a National Geographic magazine and one place that was straight from a feed my starving children commercial. Even though our culture emphasizes experience to the point of idolatry, traveling and new places does open our eyes to God’s good providence for us wherever we are planted. The traveling sense memory lingers more effectively than my chronological memory. 

 

Raising kids is full of chances to see them engage their senses for the first time. The initial experience and visits to places tends to stick with us more than the subsequent returns to the same place. I say all this because we took Anna camping for the first time. It was 30 minutes away, at a campground that the boy scout in me would cringe at, it was packed like sardines complete with a stocked pond, arcade, and swimming pool. 

 

Even with Anna’s compromised vision and ability to touch, Anna was taking it in. Anna spent 36 hours outdoors, some of it at the shore of a scenic mountain reservoir. Our campsite had the company of a babbling brook, screechy raccoons, crackly campfire,  dirty hands, smelly toilets,  and neighbors playing 80’s music while they ate potato salad outside their RV. The list goes on. 

 

We were in tent city. Even though we got a site with electricity for her Bipap mask the night was long. We didn’t have her hospital bed or positioning mattress. She struggled to clear her saliva all night long. As the temperature lowered, sleeping was a real challenge. I tried what I could to reposition her, to drain the mucus. Even though my bride envisioned every real need we had and planned with excellence, the disability still was an adversity. 

 

We cut Anna’s camping trip short one night and came up with more strategies to try camping with her again next year simply because we noticed her delight in leaving the tent in the early morning, she was participating through observation, I love how the bird songs got her attention. What a blessing it is that she is well enough to experience such a trip.

 

Please praise The Lord for:

 

• a good report on the sleep study. We increased her levels of forced air at night to help keep her lungs open, she has Chronic Atelectasis (lung collapse) when she sleeps.
• for completion of our home modifications for accessibility. Like being born again, this little fixer upper of a home is quickly bearing evidence of the Lord's gracious indwelling! Jesus is so excellent at  taking up residence and beautifying for His glory!!!
• a testimony Jesus wrote in our lives as we turned to Him with our car troubles. It just so happened that a radiator repair shop was a stone’s throw from my work, open on a Saturday, with a 2007 radiator in stock, while the other newer cars in the shop had to wait for their part to come in. He gave us the right-of-way. 
• A good, fun visit with our niece who helped us all last week!
• A great visit to the dentist. He told Anna that he had never seen a cleaner mouth on a cerebral palsy patient. 

 

Please pray for:

 

• night nurse coverage. Our nurse that returned for a while has decided to leave. We need wisdom to navigate the best options and get coverage for the winter months.
• a new PT, we have been looking at different companies, pray for one that would love and push Anna, glean potential based on her as an individual, rather than another spastic quadriplegic child on her workload. 
• continued health as we depend on God to fight our enemies when they attack whether seen or unseen. 
• Anna’s schooling, we have joined a Christian homeschooling co-op. Please pray for continued vision, mentors to guide us, and resources to educate our children and engage Anna. 
• continued weight gain for Anna as we struggle to find time to blend fresh foods rather than give her formula. 
• full healing, I noticed this week how much she enjoyed tasting some brownie batter:) O to have a whole piece of gooey, yummy brownie. 

 

Thanking God for you All, 

 

Nic for us Currats

Turning Temptation into a conversation with the Lord

Dear Anna's Prayer Warriors,

I started reading a fun novel to Anna over the weekend called Roll with It. It’s a pre-teen book that enters the life of single mom raising a 12-year-old girl with cerebral palsy. Its full of humor, candid feelings, and baking. The wheelchair bound hero is so likable having overcome so much yet treated like a baby so often. The hero’s perspective focuses on sensory pleasures like driving with the windows down, or the smell of baking as compared to hospital rooms. I don’t know if it crossed Anna’s mind like it did mine, but I couldn’t resist comparing. Reading about this character made me wish Anna wasn’t so disabled. Maybe the next time I’m in the car with her I’ll roll down the windows.

 

The first time I felt that longing was during Anna’s 3-week intensive therapy in Portland. I would see all these older kids what great gains through therapy. I was cheering kids I didn’t even know there filled with wonder at what Anna would look like at their age. All that remains a fleeing thought, I spend most of my time focused on the fact that Anna has overcome so much and is able and that there are many other kids more medically involved than her. Anna receives mercy and miracles that some don’t get. So, when temptation comes my way regarding this, it warrants a good talk with God.

 

God knows that one day Anna will be able. Able to see, eat, walk, sit, talk, right now that is not the case -but God knows when. I daydream about this brave, sweet little baker wishing the author was writing about my Anna. Oh, the power of fiction. But Jesus reminds me that I am His sheep, and He is calling me to keep on in the fold of His peace, Anna's weakness is bringing a weight of glory to God, beyond comparison. "it will be worth it all." I'm reminded in my head. That is what I need Anna to know about Her Father's plans.  Pray with me that it would be well with Anna's heart and mine come what may. His perfect love will cast out our fears! May Jesus shepherd my longings into greater surrender to Him and Trust in His plan.

 

In other news, during our wonderful anniversary celebration we met a “Simon”. We met the younger brother of a special needs kid. This man was about our age with a family of his own. His sister passed away a few years ago, so he had some remarkable insight to share with us. I marveled at how God shaped him through his sister. He repeated how he saw God’s faithfulness and learned that God is faithful to the end. Even in his life-long prayers of healing for his sister, he declared that none of it is wasted! What a great encouragement that was.  

 

Please pray for:

-our hearts and desires to be aligned right, placing our Savior, His Word, and His life before us daily. Seeking first the Kingdom of God, carrying our cross, storing up treasures in heaven.

-greater humbleness, surrender and trust. God is working. That the fruit of the Spirit would manifest in our marriage. 

-our clarity of when to return to church services. we remain free from the corona virus and diligent in precautions knowing that some of Anna’s diagnosis would complicate if she is infected.

-God to show us our place in His body.

-Anna has a sleep study tomorrow Tuesday. Pray for enduring the night, it is a difficult test with multiple disciplines, pray for God’s great comfort. May He be merciful, and gracious regarding the results. They are checking her lung abilities, her neurological activity, depth of sleep, and her feeds. 

-the contractors doing the home modifications, that they would work as unto the Lord. We have come to understand that their motivation is pay ahead of compassion, our concrete pour included 4 punctured sprinkler lines and they have been less than responsible in owning up to it. we are disheartened but hopeful that God would shine through us in these exchanges. We just want to see God’s hand of grace at every step and it seems absent.

- Anna’s head rest to be fixed and her seat to be remolded. She has been less than comfortable in her chair arching in weird ways, may God bring comfort. 

-wisdom in a documenting a homeschool curriculum for Anna, there is much flexibility however there needs to be documentation and implementation.

-a respite provider. We have a friend at the church that will provide a key need of ours through Lindsey’s counseling class. May the Lord lead us to another.

-people who work with Anna to have their hearts invested in her. I know this doesn’t sound professional but the best therapists and nurses we have seen are the ones that put their heart into knowing Anna.

-Praise the Lord! A bath chair came a week after I said we had a wall in front of us. Lindsey had forgotten to tell me that the appeal was accepted. We are praising God for this. 

 

Thank you for bringing Anna and us to the Lord in prayer,

 

Nic for Lindsey, Anna, Simon, and Renee

Great Care and Equipping

Dear Prayer Warriors,

 

Behold another testimony of God meeting our needs. We have prayed a few times for the home modifications to be approved as we submitted the plan back in April for $10,000 worth of work. Last week we received word that they approved our proposal and we will be able to schedule an installation of a chair lift in our staircase, a bathroom door widening, and a concrete pour for wheelchair accessibility on the outside of our property. We will only have about $1000 of out of pocket expenses for all of it. 

 

Another answer to prayer is that we received a larger wheelchair, an activity chair, and a stander in the last few months. Tomorrow we will test out a bed-to-chair lift, it’s not the one we wanted but it’s the one insurance will pay for. Who knew that we would walk this far down the special needs care path from 4 pounds to 50 pounds!?! Anna is our gift from the Lord, but who knew we would need so many accessories? I remember coming home from the hospital after spending the day with Anna in the first month of her life, talking to God saying “I have no idea how to care for Anna and what I’ll need but You do. I trust You will equip me.” 6 years and 3 months later I can honestly say that God continues to meet our needs and help us.

 

 Jesus the Shepherd of my heart even comforted me in two regards this past week. A special needs family we got advice from several times, a family we love and prayed for, who brought us gifts when Anna was in the hospital laid their special needs child to final rest. He was 9 years old. Even in death, this family continues to share with great courage their story for the sake of the child they lost. May Jesus be their comfort through the valley of the shadow of death. 

 

The other heart twister for me was the arrival of trial size youth diapers. My bride didn’t flinch, but I sure did. Anna sized out of conventional diapers. So we were sent three brands to choose from, but I wanted to choose “no thanks.” Yes, our needs are being met by God, but that doesn’t mean that those needs aren’t heartbreaking on some level. Especially at first. I was shocked at how big they were, we are going to need a bigger diaper bag. Lindsey talked and prayed with me as we put them away. 

 

By God’s grace we are all doing well and have an overflow of joy to share with our neighbors. Although we long for the worship, serving, and fellowship that church brings our lives have been blessed by the restrictive circumstances. Spiritually it was a bare-bone look at our spiritual disciplines. And many convictions came out of pressing into God without the help of going to church or serving each week. The virus has brought us out of convenience food consumption and more fully into the world of meal planning and weight watchers. Let’s keep our hands on the plow and not look back when it comes to eating habits. Lindsey has grown a green thumb and has soil knowledge comparable to Scott’s.  Also, we are eagerly planning a two-night tent camping trip in August, bringing the CPAP machine paying for an electric site. May the Lord bless it.

 

 We are eager for the love, presence, and help of grandma Sandy and uncle Will in two weeks’ time as Lindsey and I absent ourselves from the kids for two nights. All praise to God as we celebrate ten years of marriage! The Lord has orchestrated for Lindsey and I to do a prayer retreat for married couples at the Navigator’s Glen Erie castle during our anniversary. May the Lord make the preparations needed on our hearts. 

 

Please pray for:

-Anna as she has been having excess secretions and inconsistent bowel movements. May the Lord help us arrive at the best solutions to handle these changes long term. 

-a bath chair to be approved, currently we have been denied one from both our insurances and are seeking to appeal.  the one we have right now is too small for her. We might look into a second hand medical supply store. 

-for therapists that push Anna. We have seen the best results from therapists that are compelled to see progress rather than routinely visits. Pray for the Lord to give us boldness to switch as He leads. 

-full healing of Anna that she would be a messenger of God’s gospel to the world because of her betterment. After all God is firstly concerned with healing from sin and secondly the healing of the body. 

-the continued enriching of our marriage as God prepares us for the future which He keeps tucked His hands.  

-for the Lord to bring us consistent housekeeping and a weekly respite worker, these are things that our insurance provides however it is hard to employ because of the extra hoops to get paid via insurance. We are reaching out on care.com, may they be honest, befriend Anna and be an excellent advocate for her.

-Our only night nurse is on vacation for another week, pray that our night care could continue to be smooth. We have so much appreciation for how dedicated she has become to Anna she really knows her well and is helpful to us. Praise God that she is continuing on with us as night home health is always hard to staff.  

With Love,

The Currat's

Our Wedding verse:

"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." Colossians 3:12-14

Not Yet

Dear Prayer Warriors,

 

A couple of prayer updates ago I asked you to pray for God to reveal His plan for Anna’s healing; whether it was to be in her lifetime on earth or with Him in heaven. I have been cautious to address the answer because I feel like God hasn’t given me a “yes” or “no” but rather a sovereign “not yet”. Back when I had god in a box because I tailored him to my beliefs, he was always certain to tell me “yes” or “no”. But now that I know the Living God as my Father, He frequently answer my yes/no questions with a “Not yet”. He draws me in, to depend on His lead, growing trust and surrender in me. The fear of the Lord has shown me how foolish it is to demand God speaks to me about what I want, when I want; or worse, I fake an answer and say it was from Him. No God is too good, to true for any of that!

 

Since the God of the Bible has everything in His hands “and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28), a few thoughts worked into my heart thanks to your laboring for us in prayer.

 

Similar to my son’s eyes widening, shortened breathing, and his entire being bursting in excitement at the sight of me scooping up ice cream and landing it in a cone for him; so am I regarding the immanent return of Jesus Christ. Anna has taught me that waiting on Jesus deserves evermore longing, evermore wonder. I used to think about Christ’s return frequently in the first year of her life when enormous medical decisions needed to be made. I used to think “Jesus can just come now and redeem this because these options are terrible.” Instead of escapism, now I get thoughts of vindication at the implications of my Victor’s return!

 

next bit of learning comes from God’s attribute of transcendence. He continues to shine through. Our simple wish from Anna’s birth was that no matter what Anna is capable of, that God would glorify Himself and get the fame for Anna’s life. That she would bring people to Him. Our God is interventionist, dropping in from on high! Using the weakest to shame the strong because He inhabits here. Only God’s excellent transcendence can allow me to pray every night “thank you for not healing Anna today because you showed up”, then 8 hours later I wake asking “Lord if it pleases you and advances your Kingdom come heal Anna fully.” I have become blessed by these thoughts.

 

Doesn’t it fill you with satisfaction knowing that Anna will be healed according to God’s promises one day? Hallelujah. So “not yet” from God means He is building us up for Himself! I like to tell my children “WAIT!”, apparently God likes that strategy of parenting too.  

 

Please Pray for:

-More refining, molding and shaping from the spiritual riches that “not yet” contains.

-Full healing of Anna.

-Thanks for not healing her yet.

-Our primary insurance (from Target) has denied Anna’s wheel chair, bath chair, and mechanical lift because they deem them as not necessary. I cant help but assume that they know Medicaid (Anna’s secondary insurance) will pay for those things. May God right these wrongs.

-Our Home modifications are stuck on the desk of the same person that sat on our vehicle modification two years ago. If you remember it took close to 5 months just to start dialog with her after contacting my governor. May God move this along because Anna is approaching 50 pounds so going up and down stairs with her is difficult.

-Increased ability to use her fingers and hands to hold items intentionally. Pray for a decrease in hand chewing. We are so thankful for Anna’s new and passionate OT!

-the botox injections she received last week to be effective in breaking her tone in her adductors and bicepts. That these steps would lead to walking rather than needing surgery.

-Anna’s brother Simon. May his heart and understanding to be filled with faith as he has been asking questions about Anna and trying to understand why she is so disabled.

-Continued health for our whole family.

 

Thank you!

The Currats

Keeping Thankfulness Up to Date

Dear Prayer Warriors for Anna,

Praise God, He has granted Anna and us good health during the last two months of faith testing times. I would have written you regarding Anna sooner if this was not the case. By God’s grace we are well and the Lord has stirred me during these months to recount five testimonies that God wrote in my life to encourage friends who knew me but not God perhaps. I was convicted that perhaps a testimony of my life is not what this group is about so I apologize if you felt that way also. You belong to this group because of your love and commitment to Anna, let’s bring her to the Lord!

God continues to glorify Himself through Anna, encouraging believing nurses, doctors, therapists and softening the hearts of those searching. It has been difficult at the Currat household because the routines all stopped regarding Anna. Doctor appointments were canceled, for about a month she was without key therapies that she did at least once a week. We resumed three of them via zoom recently. 

Sometimes Anna’s discreetness and calm, quiet presence is taken for granted. Her sweet disposition is overruled often by little sister and brother. God takes my breath away when I think of how he entrusted Lindsey and I with three such gifts. It is Anna who keeps our hearts soft and teachable. You can see it in Simon who wants to goof and wrestle with everyone, but when it comes to Anna he only wants to help. Little Renee is learning how to engage Anna, she will be the first one to pick up a toy that drops from Anna’s tray and give it back to her. 

I know I am being taught by God through Anna’s needs too. Her needs are so basic to living and increasingly complex as she ages. But God gives us the good we need to care and love her. So, who am I to grumble at yet another diaper change or mucus spit up episode when God has given us the diapers, the wipes, the suction machine, and the change of clothes? And His favor over it all is Anna’s attitude as perpetually delightful. Thank you, God, for making a way for Anna. 

Lastly, I wanted to tell you that I have spent hours rereading some of the emails written about Anna and our needs through the years. I was impressed with how many trials, needs, and feelings God carefully led us through; caring not just for us to get through, but to do so in strength, hope and joy. We are beginning to see what a dependence on Him brings! Jesus gets the victory. Our hearts learn to trust more. Be affirmed! God’s Good Shepherd continues to be more than enough. A pleasing reminder to us from the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir is “It will be worth it all when we see Jesus’ face.”   

Praise the Lord for Answers to our Prayers:

-Today was our first OT session in close to 4 months, God has brought us a new therapist.

-Our main night nurse returned, we still have three nights or so to cover but anna has been sleeping well. 

-Once we got the new larger stander, the doors opened for all her other equipment to be approved for a bigger size. We received an activity chair that will be great for at least the next 5 years. A larger wheel chair is in the final stages of approval. 

Please Pray for:

-continued healing and purposing of Anna in the lives of the people around her. 

-Our home modifications to be approved, they are in the final decision stages at the state level of Medicaid. That is for a chair lift installed in our stairs, a door widening to the bathroom, and concrete pouring to have accessibility to the back yard. 

-either of our insurances to pay for a bath chair and a mechanical lift because Anna is now on her way to 50 pounds. 

-the Lord to reveal the source/cause of her excess mucus, it comes in waves, where one week she is coughing up stuff day and night; and then other weeks she is not needing any intervention. 

-One of Anna’s canceled doctor visits was for more Botox in her adductors (inner thigh). It helped when we first tried it. She has become very stiff in her legs; we cannot even stretch them. We started using gait training devices and the Upsee harness but it’s not enough. we need God’s interventionist hand to break the muscle tone that prohibits correct movement of her legs.   

I leave you with the verse God gave us for Anna:

“Be gracious to us Lord, we wait for you. 

Be our strength every morning 

and our salvation in time of trouble.” Isaiah 33:2

Love, 

Nic, Lindsey, Anna, Simon, and Renee

Shepherded

3-3 Anna Elizabeth Currat

It is with joy and faith in God's plan that we welcomed Anna Elizabeth into the world Sunday morning at 9:46. She was at 34 weeks 4 days. She is 4lbs 9ounces. Lindsey had an emergency c-section because the baby was not responding to a non-stress test. But praise God for her heart beat. That was the only thing that was going strong. The umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck twice, minimizing the flow of oxygen and nutrients from Lindsey. She had also passed meconium, a sign that she was distressed.

Lindsey and I are in need of rest. We are at Swedish covenant hospital, and our baby, sweet Anna, is at Evanston hospital where they have a great neo-natal care team. Anna is in critical condition because there is acid in her blood that she needs to metabolically process out. In order to do that, her organs need to be working a bit more than they are now. She is also on a respirator because her lungs are weak. It's a 72 hour wait before any full assessment. 

Lindsey's mom is coming out from Seattle. There are some glorious stories about God's providence and timing that I am leaving out. Let’s call upon The Lord to send His Spirit to hover over us. Things are fragile and in God’s hands.

Specific prayers:

For the metabolic processing of the acid

Against brain damage

For her lungs to work strongly

For Anna's organs to continue to mature

For God to be her peace and comfort; she must be so scared

For Nic and Lindsey as shock wears off and reality sets in, may we remain hopeful

For Lindsey's incision to heal quickly

For a good milk supply for Lindsey when Anna is ready to eat

That we would get to hold her sometime soon 

3-4 Anna Currat

 Let's storm the Throne Room with praise and thanksgiving because God intervenes. He holds us and delivers hope to our circumstances.

Today Anna and Lindsey got to be together for the first time! As a family we have had a good hour of touching (no holding baby yet) and singing and praying over Anna. The Lord has brought our family unit together! Believing God as perfect Father who knows medicine and machines best, we trust the baby to Him, even when we couldn't all be together at the beginning. 

Lindsey has experienced favor and healing. Though she is in pain, her strength comes from the Lord. Plus, she was motivated by the chance to see Anna, which made her hospital stay short. 

As for Anna, she is strong and full of possibilities. The Lord is hovering over her as she is the object of much, much prayer and miracle working. My men's group at church had a special prayer meeting for us, that is the kind of stuff that is fueling the cries to The Lord for my family.  Entire churches are humbly approaching God in Anna's behalf....

Praise God for answered prayer:

The acid in the blood is being metabolically processed, allowing the organs to work with healthy oxygenated blood.

Pray for:

The strengthening of her lungs. There are three support medicines/machines helping her breathe right now. The doctors are optimistic about the lung function they just need more strength. 

Anna's blood pressure became unstable last night. This triggered a more significant seizure. Pray for a steady blood pressure. She is on 2 monitoring devices for seizures and medication. The doctors are also optimistic about the seizures being a neo-natal situation rather than something that will persist. 

The biggest need for prayer is regarding Anna's brain. They will be "warming her up" tomorrow and hopefully taking an MRI to see for any brain damage. They spotted a small clot of blood in her brain confirming that she did have a lack of fresh oxygenated blood for a while. 

So, we trust in the hope that doesn't fail, Jesus our shepherd to be our miracle worker and make the mind of Anna healthy, able to imagine, process, concentrate, wonder and of course humor. 

3-5 A Praying Body

We are part of the same life because Christ is our life. Anna is sweet, among us and we bring her to Jesus together. 

Praise God for momma's colostrum coming in. This is a grace from God. Mothers of pre-me babies usually struggle. Now the bottles are filling up plentifully. It makes me think of Jesus feeding the 4000.

Praise the Lord for the third day of Anna's life!! What a privilege for us to have her on loan from The Lord.

Pray for Lindsey and I as we are nearing the end of the cooling blanket procedures that will allow the doctors to hypothesize how Anna's brain cells will function and the blood clot issue.  Pray for The Lord to shepherd our emotions and reactions as we depend on His holy hand to steady us. 

Pray for Anna to urinate more and steadily. 

Today was hard because right when we arrived Lindsey and I -filled with hope, saw an active seizure.  But we also saw the softest of hair, they had washed her, momma is really good at touching Anna and blessing her with song. "Little ones to Him belong, they are weak but He is strong." and later tonight Lindsey is going to rub ointment on Anna. Praise God for such joyful things that parents do, things that direct our attention past our circumstance and into love, like that of God’s example of giving me Jesus as Savior and friend.

 Lindsey and I anchored deeper than our feelings: on Christ the solid rock. We have come to know Jesus as our Rock because He revealed Himself to us, His Word and our testimony of His faithfulness are pulling us through. So please text me Bible verses, or e-mail me some... not all at once because savoring God's Word takes time:) but if the Spirit burdens you to do so we will put that verse to use in Anna's ear and hide it in our hearts. Because we need to savor the Scriptures right now. 

seizures seem to be occurring as she is warming up. The Dr does think a huge contributing factor of her seizures is an unstable blood pressure. So, pray for her blood pressure to be at 35 consistently. 

Praise God that Anna is going to get the love turned up on high tonight as auntie Colleen and Uncle Olivier are making their first visit to Anna's bedside. Thank the Lord also for my brother Olivier and Colleen who have been showing us sacrifice, help and love. For example, to my delight they stashed a tray of Oreos in a discharge bag from Swedish hospital so we could be pleasantly surprised.

3-7 Anna’s 4^th day birthday

God made a way! We slept as close as we possible could to Anna last night. Nurse Patty advocated for us, leveraged with leadership, -meanwhile, behind the scenes prayer warriors called in some favors from The Lord. And voila! God arranged us to sleep in the parent room about 25paces from Anna. Once things quieted down around 10:00 Lindsey and I were able to pull up some chairs on either side of Anna and speaks words of life to her, we sang to The Lord, felt His peace and laughed with light-hearts. 

She is now considered "critical-stable", sick but a joy in my sight. Nurse Tawny switched out Anna's tubes and Anna's vitals dipped fast.

What I learned is to not be afraid of touching Anna. Lindsey taught me how she does it. instead of hesitating I dove in ten fingers'n all, wanting to encourage the fledgling Anna. You get a mother by her baby's side and they'll know what to do. Lindsey is not short on words when speaking with her daughter. For example, we told Anna about the personalities of our extended families and why Fozzie Bear is the best Muppet. 

Anna is off the cooling blanket but No MRI yet probably not till Monday. This is shaping to be a long journey in the NICU, I welcome it because Anna is lovely and worth the wait:) Our doctor is hoping to lower the pressure on the oscillating ventilator so Anna can switch to a traditional ventilator. So, the doctors take their tests, but Lindsey has already told me "the test isn't going to change anything about my love for the gift God has given me. He has and will make a way for us." That brought me peace; she is strong where I am shaky. 

Early last night the team gave a second medication to improve Anna's blood pressure. This was a risk because it was going to make her heart rate go up a bit. At just the right time they wagered on her heart to carry a faster beat to raise her blood pressure. I wagered in prayers on the name of The Lord to uphold my daughter. By the will of God Anna responded to the meds and her pressure became steady at 37 which was above the number I even hoped for. That is answered prayer. God doesn't just give us what we ask, He gives us His best.

They also added red blood cells, and many doses of plasma to spruce up the blood pressure.... Even with that and the two other medicines, they still needed to add epinephrine which is kind of the roof of what medicine can do to raise and stabilize Anna's blood pressure if I understood the nurse right. It’s soaring in the 50's right now but it is heavily aided. Pray that Anna's body will activate to do the rest. "With man it is not possible, but with God all things are possible." -Jesus. Come let's place our faith in Christ who redeems such situations. Who else in heaven, or on the earth can miraculously heal? 

He is able; I know firsthand in my own walk that Jesus is Lord.

  This medicinal improvement in blood pressure meant That Anna was now able to take a different medicine to help her pee. Having not urinated caused her to puff up to a point that looked so uncomfortable. It was breaking my heart. When we awoke today, she had urinated! Moreover by 7AM she had urinated more today than she had the whole previous day. She is still on the diarrheic medication and urinating well. Now they say it's too well. Bring in the electrolytes.

Praise-praise-praise God for not one seizure last night. They took the monitor off. 

Pray for Anna to be weaned off the oscillating ventilator.

For a good, steady blood pressure. Her journey has been all about blood. Remember the acid?

For Anna to sustain a good blood pressure without epinephrine. 

3-8 Amazing Anna

 we have yet to hear Anna's cries or to or hold her. We can't wait the day is coming. You know we like most pregnant people assumed so much about what it's going to be like when the baby comes. But blessed be The Lord because He is Shepherding us through all of this!

 Pray for Lindsey's legs they are persistently swollen, pray for her wound to heal. It's doing good but we want the pain to go away.

Lindsey and I were ushered into a conference room with the doctors and Anna's primary nurse Tawny. There they gave us the "best-case/worst-case scenario" talk. This was to prepare us for the MRI findings -but God already knows. Now many of you know that I used to be prone to manic thoughts and going down the "what if" anxiety train. By God's grace I met the meeting with trust in God's plan for me and Lindsey and Anna. I was "strong" in that moment not of my own doing but by the power of Christ in me. I was able to calmly listen to this "worst-case talk" without my imagination taking a trip on the dr.'s words. This overwhelmingly proves to me that I'm a "new creation in Christ, the old one is gone". I know that God is for me -not against me. He does not make mistakes. He already knows every occurrence in Anna's life for its wonderful duration.

So yeah, pray for Anna's head in the name of Jesus, with the expectancy of miracles... Have we not already been given a front row seat to see Him save Anna? If the expectancy thing is hard, I gained faith by the story in Mark 9 with the father who brings his sick son to Jesus saying "have compassion and heal him if you can." and Jesus replies "If I can?, everything is possible to the one who believes." to that the son's father says "I do believe! But help my unbelief." So, my hope is for the best for my daughter and grace is helping my unbelief.

These e-mails are daddy's way to love Anna and to bring her to the Lord for wellness, salvation and peace. We have been counting on the body of believers and giving our burdens to Christ. In case you think for a second that we can handle all this news on our own, you are wrong. God sometimes intentionally give us more than what we can bare to cause us to turn to Him.

I say all this because Anna started having seizures again after two days of not having any. This indicates according to the doctor, that her wonderful brain is swelling or bleeding or not completely formed and could have brain cell damage. But God made the heavens and the earth, the mind is only fully known by Him. I believe in miracles, because the second she was born she was closest to death and The Lord has worked wonders to bring her to life. here's the latest:

Answered prayer and miracles:

Praise God for the catheter being removed because of steady urination and her swelling is gone.

Praise God she is off of the epinephrine, and another blood pressure medication, she is almost off her last blood pressure medication because she has responded well with a steady blood pressure number.

Praise The Lord for placing her on the new ventilator that makes her lungs do some work and she has responded.

Praise God that the passageway of blood from the heart to her lungs opened up (at first with medication) but now on her own.

Praise the Lord for a daughter so committed to respond to these treatments and procedures truly a miracle.

Praise the Lord Dr. Amer said "both metaphorically and literally, Anna has a strong heart."

Praise God that the temptation for me to worry was there but not indulged in, praise God.

Pray for the seizures to stop.

Ask the Lord for a healthy kidney able to process salt.

Pray for the lining of Anna's intestines that there would be no damage and it would be able to do what it does so well (sorry i forgot what the doc told me it does)  

Pray for my unbelief in my prayer life, to pray with expectation.

Pray for rest. 

3-10 Amazing Grace

Early in the pregnancy, Lindsey and I asked God, "What do You want our child's name to be? What is the name Jesus will call my daughter when He summons her forth on the Last Day?" I wanted to go with the name Anna because I wanted my daughter to teach me about grace. Being a late bloomer in Christ, that word is one of the loftiest; I wish to grasp it more completely. Anna's name comes from the word "grace" in Hebrew.

Lindsey wanted the name Anna because she especially loved the biblical Anna, a prophetess in Luke 2 who was devoted to God and sought after the Lord's presence in the temple in Jerusalem. Luke says Anna sought after the Lord day and night worshiping, fasting, and praying.

I think the road before us as a family will be defined by these powerful spiritual qualities of grace and devotion that are perfected only in Christ and new life in Him. Though we don't have the exhaustive medical synopsis yet, we did receive the results of Anna’s MRI that showed brain damage had occurred due to lack of oxygen. So again, we cry out to God asking for His warehouse of grace to manufacture more miracles for Anna's brain. We are asking that the extent of damage would be minimal. God knows Anna's brain totally and the miracle of a healthy brain is not null and void; that prayer request hasn't expired. The Lord can deliver a healthy mind at any moment. We now can also start praying for a special grace for Lindsey and me who delight to be called servants in God's Kingdom on earth.

I am going to memorize chapter 5 in Romans because of its message about grace, hope, and devotion. (see paragraph below). I asked my wife to join me in memorizing and invite your prayer warriors to do the same - or perhaps just one verse, or a clump from within that passage. May the Truth of God's Word simmer and stew in you as you continue to feel burdened for Anna so as to not lose hope. Ask God for His biblical truths to grow in us. In my walk of faith, asking Him in prayer for the promises He makes in His Word evokes my spiritual formation. So let’s pray to God the claims of this passage below for my family, in Jesus name. 
 

5 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:1-5.

There is a special grace given by God to families with children of special needs. God has spent our entire lives readying us for Anna, and because we are God's own possession purchased in the blood of Christ, I know He will get the glory and the victory as His Holy Spirit leads us. Our hope in Jesus will not shame us. If mankind's purpose in life is to glorify God and to draw people to Himself, I'd say Anna has already done that!

Praise God for our hope only increasing because of who Jesus is, but also because we have again seen Anna choosing to respond to her treatment.

Praise God for the many, many churches and other family members who have also lift up our burdens to Jesus. It makes me have a whole new understanding of Matt 11:28-30. Sweet Anna came into this world in prayers and tears.

Praise God for no seizures last night.

Praise the Lord for her first stool.

Praise the Lord that Anna is off of medication for her blood pressure and remains steady, she is on a "supplement" type fortifier, but not a medicine. Remember just three nights ago?

Pray that the arterial line might be removed, this would permit us to hold our child.

Pray that the lining of her intestines would be healthy.

Pray for Anna's brain activity to be quickened by the Holy Spirit. And healed by the Lord.

Pray for our meeting today with Dr. Amer and Tawny at the conference table. As they unfold the extent of the damage that we would have more than the presence of Christ, the "Horn of my Salvation". but also, the filling of the Holy Spirit.

Thanks for sharing our burdens.