Dear
Prayer Warriors,
I remain encouraged by all of you and
the grace you extend to us by reading and praying. It sheds light on the unity
we share in Jesus; I ask myself if I would be faithful to pray if the tables
were turned and you were asking me to pray, thank you and praise God. My last
email wasn’t super succinct, sharing a heartfelt sentiment is hard. God is
working on me, “when all around my soul gives way He then is all my hope and
stay. On Christ the solid Rock I stand all other ground is sinking sand.”
My bride read the last email and said
“I didn’t know you struggled so much with Anna’s sufferings?” I was
backpedaling to find an answer. “Uhh yeah don’t you?”
Lindsey’s observes that much of Anna’s
behavior does not indicate pain and suffering but rather a joyful person, “all
in all her quality of life is good.” It blessed me to consider this. I think
Lindsey lives with a greater grace of surrender to the peace found in Jesus regarding
the ongoing sufferings. My lament seems to repeat, “It’s just not what I would
have for my daughter.”
I know many special needs parents claim
that they don’t see the disability and diagnosis after a while, they just see
their child. While that is beautiful for them, I can’t help but feel that God
has left me hungry to wonder who Anna is disability-free -like every day. I think
that all Anna goes through makes God grieve too, since He knows all days, the
Almighty knows Anna in her incorruptible body too. I have peace knowing that
God knows, has seen, and loves Anna who is fully healed in His presence!
In the last email I was asking for
prayer about having a greater praise of Christ during suffering and hardships. By
God’s grace and in answer to our prayer, the following days and weeks the Lord
has flooded my heart with song. Many hymns whistled at work. Many simple songs
with Gods promises sung during our car rides. A few new-to-me artists with fresh
songs ascribing worth to Jesus. My times of prayer would become
colorfully interrupted by a song that came to mind stemming from the prayer I
was praying. I’d stop and sing it then get back to praying. What joy.
The true test came one Saturday night
at the Children’s Hospital during an urgent visit, we were in a closed part of
the hospital for interventional radiology it was just me, Anna and large
tropical fish in this large waiting room for an hour and a half. After doing
some stretches, I turned my phone on to some sweet joyous Gospel music. I sang,
spun, and shook Anna in her wheel chair. What lively fun being attended with
the Spirit’s fruit of joy. Our hearts were soaring in praise of God. What a
special time. We forgot about why we were there. Then they came and got us, the
procedure ended up taking 15 minutes with a little pain, but we were caught up
in worship before and it carried over. No tears, just grace.
Even in a more custom-fitted loving way
God showed me a promise to keep about all this. I found the gentle voice of God telling me
through a psalmist, “My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves
my life.” Psalm 119:50 most translations say “affliction” instead of
“suffering”. But the version I was reading said “suffering” so it stuck out at
me big time. God loves me and cares about the stuff I am going through. This
verse speaks to me because it claims that clinging to God’s promises outlasts
my suffering. It is in holding hard to the promises and character of Christ
that suffering can refine me and give me a life that walks in the Spirit.
Please
pray for:
-wisdom
and direction to combine three treatments under general anesthesia. Anna has an
infected front upper tooth under one of her crowns. All of her dentistry is done
under general anesthesia. The dentist said it needs to be taken out within a
month. We are trying to see if we can get OR time to do the tooth pull with a
surgery to make a direct port to the intestine for her direct feeds. Also it
would be best to get an MRI done of her sacral dimple, this should have been
done at birth.
-our
house search. We have been looking for houses we can afford which consequently drives
out of the Denver metro area. The search has discouraged us because we don’t
want to leave Denver, but what does God want? we are currently looking about an
hour away in Colorado Springs and about an hour or two to the north. Everything
in our price range seems to need some “TLC” and its aggressively sought after
and over bid on. So we ask for prayer, for the right home we could either adapt
or is already accessible in our price range. God’s got to do this! its been a
real test of faith because we know what we can afford and are tempted to bid a
number we can’t afford.
-God
to sooth and grow our new born Renée. She is a fussy baby reminding us in part of
what we endured with Anna. Praise God for the equipping He gave for us to care
for Anna as a new born! Pray that Renée’s reflux would stop and that we would
count on God like we did back then.
-the
Martin family who arrived in Cape Town South Africa this week to proclaim the
Good News and minister to the poor. This dear brother was used of God to
minister to me during Anna’s birth. He dedicated Anna to the Lord many years
ago. What a sweet memories during the storm.
