Saturday, December 17, 2016

Amid Ability and Disability


Dear Prayer Warriors,

Christmas is a time of thanks for the gift of Jesus. He is the gift of grace, redemption, healing, regeneration, and eventually glorification to sinners. Alleluia

I will drag my index finger across a row of chimes carefully to engage Anna in sound and then Simon attempts to repeat my gesture, after about fourth chime he grabs them all and starts tugging. It’s a grace to see Simon explore the ability of his fingers. Simon is exploring the octaves of his screams too; Anna’s left quiet, teary, startled. My son will crawl straight to the toilet bowl because he has the ability and memory of every water exposed place in the house.

There is this interplay in my home between the constant activity of Simon and the immobility of Anna, ability and disability, independence and dependence. It may be heartbreaking to outsiders, it certainly is a demanding dynamic, however all this is a grace opportunity to see the Almighty more clearly. I’ve never had to open a book to grasp the neurological complexity of the human body and mind because Anna and Simon show me. I’m filled with wonder about God’s infinite wisdom to create a brain that commands thought, able hands, legs, and feet. Even more miraculous is the minimal training and equipping it takes to teach an able bodied child a motor skill.  

We are currently teaching both kids to walk right now. Simon is on auto-grow compared to sweat-and-tears Anna. There is progress in both kids and joy to behold. The teaching part with Simon is more external, making our home safe, giving him an assist, and a smiley target to walk to. Then on his own he can stand up, boldly wiggle his legs and laugh about the fact that his legs are working. With Anna the teaching is at first internal we need to break the tone/spasticity, stretch, put on her equipment, and then from routine to remind her that it is good and normal to be weight bearing.

I recently revisited a book (on tape) about the biblical model of parenting. The thrust of the book is how parents are actually accountable before God for the gift (their kid) that He gave us. “Train them up in the way they should go.” It made a whole lot of sense when I was thinking about Simon, I have to guide his choices, call out sin, impart wisdom, and show him what it looks like to abide in Christ. This is teaching by example and explanation. Then outta nowhere it hit me I started weeping; I know Anna has excellent cognition however she is currently non-verbal and immobile. All the application points of the book seemed null and void until the Lord furnishes His full healing. So I asked God “What are you asking me to do with the gift of Anna? Tell her not to play with matches? To look both ways before you cross the street?” I don’t often get sarcastic with God but this thinking just surfaced -it’s not funny to Him.

As I rested my case, calmed down, waited, and asked God for what I’m accountable before Him for regarding Anna. The book continued on with the passage in Deuteronomy 6 about how parents need to remember, explain, and share God with their kid when they stand, walk, lay down, on the road, in the home. It was the walking that struck me. Perhaps because Anna recently spent three weeks trying to learn to crawl and walk. I thought of those neurological connections she doesn’t have, the ones that gives a sense of balance, the ones that intelligently show Simon that alternating feet is way better than walking two lefts then one right.

So a vow is in order. I think a valid application for me to fulfill Deut 6 with Anna would be for me to show Anna the way she should go, meaning that I should show her how her body should go. I need a greater personal pledge to Anna’s PT, OT, vision, and speech. Not aligning paid professionals but becoming Anna’s servant intentionally.

Please Pray:

-For grace to fill our hearts, make things possible, and bring joy to our family
-For progress for Anna in crawling and walking and head control.
-For health, a week ago Anna became sick again, waking up coughing, needing repositioning, and struggling to keep her throat clear


Praise God for:

-Christ with us!
-For a nurse we interviewed and will help us two days a week!
-For Anna's wheel chair that was once denied being accepted for purchase through insurance.
-For the CES waiver re-evaluation that went well.

Joyeux Noel,

Nicolas, Lindsey, Anna et Simon

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

God's Timing is Perfect




Dear Prayer Warriors,

On Anna’s bedroom wall I nailed a woven hat with a ribbon on it. I bought it with full fatherly affection around Easter last year. It’s lovely. When I eagerly came home with it, it dawned on me that Anna could not wear the hat because it has a protruding rim for the whole circumference. Anna’s head has to rest on something almost always. I felt stupid for a second, like duh, I just want to chuck it like a Frisbee. By God’s grace after that moment of being heartbroken about it God gave me hope. I chose to see the hat as a symbol of waiting on the Lord for His healing of Anna. I placed it on the wall in wonder until Anna could wear it because she will have gained head control.

At the center of these Prayer e-mails I want to be honest about my relationship with God and my family. I have found that honesty drives empathy, which compels prayers.  Then together we surrender and lay down Anna before God.

Truth be told, my faith isn’t mature its maturing. So it’s normal that I share imperfect incomplete understandings of faith and God as I try to better grasp His Word and not carelessly handle Truth. God’s healing has left me confused; I also sense some personal fears that may confuse my mindset. I want to work through and explain a bit about Anna, Panama, and Portland. What is God asking me to believe Him for regarding Anna?

I’m not grumbly or feeling like God miss led us because He is in control. Both trips were met with much grace and help. It’s more the fact that my faith tells me that He is healer, so what’s holding Him back? Perhaps I’m appealing to Him about the results. Truth be told there has been healing/progress that originated from these travels. You have to be around Anna often to see it. Anna’s therapists have noticed a decrease in tone/spasticity, praise God. Wrists that were unwilling to rotate a certain way now do so without resistance. Most noticeable to me are her eyes that are working to grasp their surroundings -much more than ever before. They are much more engaged and intentional. Thank you Lord.

As you well know I have wanted her core muscles to really spruce up, that her reflux would end and the head control would be mastered... As if to say that I would be ok with the other issues still existing. Why isn’t it enough for me to recount how God kept her alive in the early days, how she has been spared of seizures miraculously, and especially how God meets us every day to empower us to care for her?

I’m confused because healing Anna is an easy and little thing for God. He also has a stunning track record of healing even today. Prayer warriors, we prayed out of expectancy, fervently. So I humbly ask “Lord, where is the healing?” To clarify: I’m not asking this to guilt, scold, or demand God do what I want for Anna. I ask because I know He is able, why wouldn’t He? I trust His reason is good. My role is to wisely say “It is well with my soul.”

Anna is a gift no matter her degree of handicap. I think the best prayer we can pray is “God be glorified through the healing of Anna in Your time in as much as it pleases You.”

Please Pray:
-For Anna to qualify for the Medicaid CES waiver, we first applied in Febuary and were turned down. Anna is being reevaluated tomorrow. This would enable increased therapy hours and options as well as a fund for things like a van ramp.
-For reflexes, she has no defenses like when she is being attacked by Simon. She'll take the hit and cry. Lindsey is trying to train her arm and legs to activate when Anna is attacked.
-Praise God we have hardwood floors! Pray that we would now do our part and use them by placing anna in her crawler daily. 
-For God to take away her reflux, that Anna could one day feed herself and eat something more solid than purees.
-For my heart to be yielded to the Lord's will and trusting in His call for me to father Anna.
-For a RN to provide the needed relief of care that is heavy on Lindsey. We have a two companies looking but no match yet.
-Praise God for Anna's health returning to her, no more congestion and coughing, she is sleeping through the night.
-For the ability to roll over on her own
-That I would be gentle and attentive to her needs and the person she is becoming. Often i forget she is changing and growing just like Simon.

Thanks for working through this with us,

Nic, Lindsey, Anna, and Simon

Saturday, November 19, 2016

Latching onto Jesus


Dear Caring Prayer Warriors,
It has been at least a double fortnight since my last entry and for that I am sorry. I know you are always interested for news about Anna and how to better pray for my family. Thanks for your commitment, that is worth its weight in gold to me. I can't believe i used to live without ever asking anyone to pray for me. O how desperate I always am for a touch, a word, a hug, a direction, a smile, an encouragement from God -He chooses you all frequently to administer those. God is so good.
I know God is doing great things and is bringing His strength our way because we are all enduring various weaknesses. Most pressing would be Anna. She has been ill for three week, ever since our return to Denver. There is much to thank God for: 1 she has a strong cough and fights to clear her throat. 2 she has a g-tube so we can easily give her the nourishment and medicine she needs. 3 she has a wonderful large bed fully adjustable so that she can be positioned any which way. 4 she listens well to stories to preoccupy her mind as she remains slow on the go.
We've delighted in Simon's crawling and standing milestones recently. We eagerly await the sleeping through the night milestone. I know people say it goes fast, but i must add that we are enjoying the evolution of his quirks and gestures. This boy has given me a deeper sense of wonder about God's plans for him/me/mankind. O and praise God he has remained healthy.
Lindsey and I are finding ourselves worn thin. I've been sleeping in the living room these three weeks weeks so i can tend to Anna and Lindsey can tend to Simon. I was sick now Lindsey seems to be on the verge. Sleep deprivation, interrupted sleeping, not sleeping enough, it is all challenging for my character.

We look to install a flooring for Anna's crawler and walker next week. How wonderful to think that our prayer requests are a "yes" in God's time. We may push that back. Toys line the furniture and walls everywhere, the dirty dishes are backed up like a friday night at Denny's, and the cars need a wash.
All this to say, Please Pray:
-For Anna that she would be healed from this sickness, have a clear throat and patience for al the discomfort. That we can have a routine again surrounding therapy.
-For our family devotion times to be a time of peace and focus on God's Word, singing and prayer. With all the discomfort going on its hard to concentrate and enjoy this time of family discipleship.
-For Jesus to be our all in all regarding this storm, that he would be the Savior, healer, protector, and friend. so that we would not believe lies, or give into temptations, or hang onto bad attitudes or unforgiveness.
-For Simon to eat and sleep better.
-For Lindsey to have time away from our dearies to sleep and rest and shop at Joann's
-For peace and rest given our full schedules.
-For Joy (who administers the intensive model of therapy) to be Anna's new Physical therapist,
-For Anna to qualify for the CES waiver which would allow more benefits and activities.
-For An RN to work here to lighten our load.
-For the flooring to be beautiful, well installed and for God to be glorified, the Church is stepping up to help us of their own initiative. We are so blessed.
-For me to be Christlike at work given the busyness, a new boss arriving, and stuffing to sell. May God be glorified in my work.
-For time to express our gratitude to the many, helpers on our "thank you " card list.

 "Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary." Galatians 6:9

Thanks,

  Nick, Lindsey, Anna and Simon

Wednesday, October 19, 2016

Celebrating God for Stuff



Thank you for upholding us through this time in prayer. We are vulnerable to so much. Yet we hear our Shepherd chilling us out, helping us stay the course, and keeping us from harm. We desire to be home but still have half of Anna's intensive therapy sessions to go. Believe me when I tell you: all of this has been well worth it and certainly blessed by the Lord. 

Anna's Physical Therapist Jeni has a PhD in Physical Therapy. It seems like a contradiction in terms, she doesn't respond to Doctor,  one thing is for sure she knows what Anna needs. She brings great intensity, observation, and evolution into the treatment. What a great experience so far, from 9 am to 1 with her every day. Her heart is dialed in with these kids too. Fun fact, she roller skates to work and is on a roller derby team. 

Jeni sees so much ability in Anna; Given how much time she spends with cerebral palsy kids that is great news. We cheered and made their web page because Anna propelled herself forward 6 feet using no help from us, just her feet. Anna was in a wheeled contraption that promotes crawling. We thank God for the head strengthening going on its obvious!  

We have had the privilege of sharing our faith walk and our "real" family moments with our hosts. It is literally one of those situations where they are blessed to be a blessing to us. They have a very routinely, clean, and peaceful house used throughout the week for small groups. Simply put, we are unable to exude that same harmony. They are gracious hosts and so accommodating. I feel loved by the Lord that He would arrange for us to stay with them free of charge for three weeks. They make me wonder if there is such a thing as a stranger in the Body of Christ? 

Please pray: 

-For our PT Jeni to build on what Anna has been doing. For wisdom as she commissions us to care for Anna at the handoff. 
-For vision what a motivator sight is, she is engaging her eyes more and we are overjoyed at seeing all of Anna's efforts to see and grow. What work 
-For miracles, we are going to put Anna in a walker next week! 
-For Anna to be healthy (she is still congested) and strong. 
-For progress so that Anna can work to do things on her own. 
-For our marriage to be rich in good communication, so we can better bless Anna as her parents.  
-For Simon's health, he has had stomach issues. 

Thanks for praying, 

Nic, Lindsey , Anna and Simon



Tuesday, October 4, 2016

O for a Thousand and One Tongues to Sing



Hello Prayer People,

My brother has this image of Anna running through a field and dancing because of the Lord’s healing. My brother never came up and told me this; it pops up when we pray together for Anna. God has given my brother an image of grace for his niece and it is like a promise for him.


I don’t have such a time and place that I see Anna miraculously able. However I do frequently wonder about Anna’s voice. This girl has the prettiest coos and elementary sounds but she is nonverbal, unable to tell us anything outside of her use of volume, tone, and frequency. So I have often asked God what her voice and singing would sound like, how pleasing it must be for a father to hear his daughter singing to the Creator in worship.


Before Anna I would have thought these types of believer’s visions to be improbable at best. Now I see that these yearnings of healing come from believing with the heart before the head. God always wants our hearts first.  My head doesn’t grasp that Anna could one day sing worship to God but my heart does. Anna will be healed, should it be here, gradual, partial, complete, in heaven?

Sorry for the long intro.


One of the reasons Anna cannot eat solid food is because her tongue has never learned how to move from side to side. She has only been able to use her tongue in a forward and backward motion. The natural use of her tongue is limited neurologically. If food were to get pocketed in the sides of her mouth she cannot retrieve it. For the last year and a half we have tried with the feeding therapist to stimulate this ability with a vibrating brush, creative spoon feeding, massaging… but with no result.


Then two nights ago, Lindsey was brushing Anna’s teeth and asked me to come quick. Praise God! Anna was trying to locate the toothbrush on the sides of her mouth with her tongue. She was nearly rolling the sides of her tongue, showing us that she can move her tongue to the side.



Let’s Pray:

-For increased grace to make new neurological connections through therapy and new cells bringing ability to Anna’s tongue

-For visions and dreams that are a “Yes and Amen” in Jesus

-For Anna’s current sickness to pass swiftly. Pray for her ability to clear all excess mucus from her throat. Her congestion is causing her to wake up frequently and/or causing her to gasp for air. She cannot roll over, or go onto her side to be more comfortable without us rotating her. Also, may the Lord help us as we suction her it is tricky and often triggers reflux.

-We noticed little reflux in Panama throughout our trip, however back in Colorado the reflux increased again, may God take away her acid reflux

-For Traveling mercies for the upcoming road trip on Friday to Portland for Intensive therapy. 

O For a Thousand Tongues to Sing has been on my mind ever since that toothbrushing night especially this verse:

"Hear Him, ye deaf; His praise, ye dumb,
Your loosened tongues employ;
Ye blind, behold your Savior come,
And leap, ye lame, for joy."

Nicksters, Lindsey, Anna Pie, and Si-money

Friday, September 30, 2016

From a cell to the sun



Dear prayer warriors,

Give thanks to God who gave us cells that grow and form into organs, tissue, bones, brain matter, and many other things. I take these little guys for granted for sure. Although lately a bit less. From the cell to the sun, creation does reveal God's greatness -what infinite praise is due The Lord in light of His created works.

We went and visited the canal and its locks. We saw how a way was made through the rainforest. The United States was such a presence there for so long. No wonder the currency here is the US dollar and there is so much America everywhere. It been interesting for sure. 

On the way from our shiny hotel we saw the poverty. It was widespread dirtiness, seemingly total and lawless. I used to ask "what is the justice in poverty" and why was I not born into it? In reading God's Word, I have learned that there is no justice in poverty only injustice. It cannot be written off by ignoring it or having a phony justification. 

Another notable remark in the journey is befriending Juan-Jose our driver. I have given him story after story about how Jesus came alive in my soul and turn the whole mess around. He was also surprised at the amount of help we have received from our churches since having Anna. I keep telling him that the help is actually from God through His church. God be praised. He does claim a Catholic faith and believes that everything happening in His life happens for a reason only God knows. 

May the Holy Spirit convict us all of our sin and cause us to see our desperate need for the only Savior. May Juan-Jose read God's Word, test it, and find it to be more trustworthy than his own heart. I pray for a deeper encounter with Christ for this man. 

As for us, Our appetite for healing increases as we hesitate to announce any progress. We concluded the injections today.  Regardless, Christ in us the hope of glory is more than enough. So instead of focusing on Anna's stem cell treatments showing dividends we focus on Jesus the author and finisher of our faith. It has rained all day, this is our last day here. So we have had the Brooklyn Tabernacle choir on repeat as we sang praises and lifted up spontaneous praying to our God from the comfort of our little Panamanian hotel room. Praying with children is a gift from God. Singing to the Lord is a sweet gift too. 

In speaking with Lindsey back in our fundraising days I remember specifically feeling led not to ask people for money for the Stem Cell treatments. Mainly because I felt people weren't properly educated about it. I'm thankful for this wisdom of restraint because really it's just between us and God. We don't have to give account to any sort of person investing for a must-see miracle. Gods purpose is bigger still. Instead we asked for financial help to fund the upcoming intensive therapy trip to Portland, and many have helped for that it's over half funded. God has made a way!! We are looking to all the rich mercy God has for Anna. And Because of grace we ask for more mercy for Anna. 

Please Pray with us:

-That we would thank God for His purpose and love Him for making our trip a joy, a vacation, a unique family time and a time of receiving great help from Dennis and Nancy.  
-For continued healing of Anna's vision, Cerebral palsy, GERD, and cognition
-For an increased ability for her to communicate with us. 
-For a safe return tomorrow, making our connecting flight in Huston and that we could be able to sit together, as of now we are scattered. 
-that any temptation to doubt and regret our sacrifice made to see Anna healed would be squashed by knowing our faith is being refined in God's Fire currently. 

Monday, September 26, 2016

Injection junction and other prayers

This is a robust list of things we ask you to pray for. (Its an abridged post from the prayer email I sent a week ago but never posted here). Let's pray again, tomorrow at 9 am central time Anna will be given her first injection of cord blood stem cells from live births in Panama. The Lord be praised forever.  

"But for you who fear My name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings; and you will go forth and skip about like calves from the stall." Malachi 4:2


A contributing reason why I write these prayer requests is because of something I was told by a family we befriended while we were in the NICU. This family had been walking down the special needs path 5 years ahead of us while depending on Him. They said, “I don’t want to be before the Lord and ask Him why He decided not to heal my son sooner… Only to have the Lord reply ‘you stopped asking me to do it.’” They resolved to always ask, we can resonate with that thinking because God is able! 

Please Pray:
-For Lindsey, Simon, Anna and I to experience health, sleep, and a perfect peace on this trip. We are a bit manic in thought about all this and it's tempting to second guess.  May we be spirit-led and Christ like.  We have faith in God’s sovereign hand.  
-For Lindsey and I to have time outside of family devotions to meet one-on-one with God however that looks. 
-For Satan and all demonic forces to be dealt with in the spirit world by the supremacy of Christ and His work for us. We do not tread in the kingdom of darkness but rather the kingdom of the Son. 
-For every trial to be presented before the Lord in prayer and for the solutions to be bathed in wisdom. 
-For God to continue to have a glorious mercy on Anna through the giving of His umbilical cord stem cells to Anna. 
-For no complications in administering them. that the 40 million stem cells quoted would be administered and that all the cells be healthy and well preserved.  
-For God to rebuild Anna’s neurological injuries and brain damaged areas causing them to work as He intended them to work when He first created such intricate things.  
-For Anna to experience ability in her core muscles thus strengthening her esophagus sphincter ending her acid reflux, enabling independent sitting, and allowing her head control to be unaided. 
-For God to bring miraculous healing to Anna’s optic nerve and her visual cortex. She has the most beautiful eyes that are not injured however she can hardly see because of the damage to the visual receptors in her brain.
-For Anna’s full healing that she could see, walk, talk, jump, whistle, dance, express, and make choices. 
-That Anna would come to know that God loves her and made all this possible because of His great love for her. 

Saturday, September 24, 2016

Eye-opening Thanks




Dear Prayer Warriors,

Let me tell you a little about the wonderful ways God is rolling out the welcome mat for the Currats in Panama and Portland. I'm filled thanksgiving and excitement at this opportunity coming to fruition. Seven months ago we hadn't heard about stem cells as a viable way to bring partial healing to Anna and now we are on our way to get them. So many things had to fall into place, God did things for us in a way only He could so of course He is the centerpiece of my thanks and celebration.

We thank God for:

-Panama September 25th to October 1st (For umbilical cord stem cells)
-other families that have made the journey and attest to its worth.
-the selling of our condo (So many pieces about the sell was blessed supernaturally).
-becoming debt free
-our passports arriving three weeks after and on the same day as the sale of our condo.
-the careful research, preparation, and planing that Lindsey did on top of taking good care of our kids. Just ask her about the brown bag feeding plan for each day of the week.
-The prayers of many expecting nothing less than God's best for Anna.
-Having our own MVP team for Anna while in Panama, a couple from our church in Chicago is flying out to be with us that week in Panama City to serve and encourage us! So Lindsey and I can get some unique time together.
-our stay at a hotel that promises to be more than accommodating to all our needs.
-for upholding our health in the days leading up to our trip
-for a week completely out of the norm
-for Anna who has been showing signs of a growth spurt improving her ability to hold her head up, smiling more than before, and even rolling over back to belly on her own (about 5 times last week)
-we have a dear brother and friend taking us round trip to the airport

-Portland October 7th-November 1st (for intensive model of therapy)
-The fundraising and Gofundme efforts that raised close to half of the needed amount for 3 weeks of intensive therapy in Portland.
-for a place to stay in Portland for three weeks free of charge as a ministry to our family in Jesus' name.
-we have another round from Anna's MVP from our church in Chicago who is coming to drive Lindsey and the kids to Portland and stay the first week with them.
-for our minivan that God gave us and how it has served us well this last year. I love how He brought someone in my life that taught me how to repair it as needed and so we have confidence in taking it to Portland and back.
-For being 2 hours from Lindsey's family to visit them on the weekends in between.
-For my work granting the time off during the biggest change my departments have ever had since I became the leader there.

Getting Stem cells is like receiving a bunch of potential to regrow cells in the places where there was damage before. Injecting stem cells is very much a replacing of the dead for the living; which sounds a lot like what Jesus did for me when He came into my life. I gave Him my old dying self and He gave me new life in Him. I then became a new creation, the old has gone. And so it will be with Anna if it pleases the Lord.  

The stem cells are the potential, but they don't automatically know where to go. That is why therapy is critical. Working on the handicap be it vision, cerebral palsy, speech, feeding, etc directs the potential to areas needing healing. Anna having a natural growth spurt now is increasingly beneficial. This is why we had to pair the two trips.

Please pray:
-For a safe trip, for traveling mercies, for Anna's MVP's Dennis and Nancy they are leaving a day ahead of us (Today).
-For a continued momentum of joy and gratitude both in what's happening and in the promises of God because He is in control and has shown so much mercy and care for Anna.

In praise of God,

Nic, Lindsey, Anna and Simon

Wednesday, September 7, 2016

Submitting to the Healer's Choice


We are humbled to tell you prayer warrior that God has heard our prayers and has mercy on our quest. The stem cell door now has a time and place for Anna. The Lord’s hand of blessing was ours to accept as we had a smooth, lighthearted close with the buyer of our condo. My realtor having a heart for God and heart for Anna did all his work for free! This is another little piece to the mosaic of how faithful people are standing beside us, loving Anna in the name of Christ, and encouraging us onward in the Lord. There is an unfolding unity to meet our needs that is very glorifying to God if you ask me.That they (believers) may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.”-Jesus (John 17:21) 


That same afternoon we also received all our passports.


I’ve been thinking about the bigness of the Lord, what a vantage point! God is so big and “in the know”; in 2008 He knew that I needed to buy a condo so that in 2016 we would have the blessing of taking our yet-to-be-born-daughter to get stem cell treatments. Wow wee. 


 In faith, we never doubt that God is able to bring healing! Healing fits the Lord so well that it’s compounded in His name Jehovah-Rafa. In faith we declare full healing and proclaim God’s glory. I want to envision full healing “help me o Holy Spirit.” It’s hard to imagine Anna verbal, able to keep her head up, without GERD (reflux), Hydrocephalus, cerebral palsy, cortical visual impairment, or optic nerve atrophy. I bet God knows what Anna is like without those limitations! I count on that. 


Yet in our fleshly thinking we see many people carrying a lifetime of disability without the mark of healing.  It’s tempting to accept this fate and see Anna as a spastic quadriplegic who cannot do for herself much at all, for all her years to come. Perhaps this is the road for our family. But God didn’t save me so that I would just rely on what I can see for myself. He redeemed my wretchedness to show how Jesus can restore a life far gone in drinking and mental disorders. If He can do it for me, I am convinced He can do it for anyone including Anna to the glory of His Name.


So yes the stakes are high! It’s our daughter, the cost is high, the assets are liquidated, and the “results will vary”. More importantly though: the time has come to believe that Healer-God is who He says He is. He chooses to heal with a criterion that is sovereign and mysterious to us. It will not be for a lack of faith should no betterment occur; His greater purpose is more important than Anna’s healing. What a privilege, the Lord has made a way for us to see Him work through the advancements He’s created in science. We who are a vapor, a blade of grass, momentarily here in His world, we get to gaze upon His Character of Healer so uniquely. We desire God in this –not what God can do.  May the dependence on Him become clearer, God we need You to show up and direct our steps.


In truth we can chill, God is so big He already knows how the kids will do on the plane.  Actually God is already in Panama, knowing full well which cells from which donors Anna will get. He already picked out the outfit the doctors will wear the day they meet us. He is in control and has led us.



Please Pray:

-For a safe trip to Panama City and back from 9/25-10/1

-For our continued health from viruses and any distracting illness as we travel down there.

-For my Spanish to be more than enough in every situation it is needed in.

-That the Lord would cause Anna’s neurological system to respond with full ability repairing all the damage.

-That miracles would be tallied as a testimony.



Thanks for praying and believing God for His best regarding Sweet Anna Pie,

Nic, Lindsey, Anna, and Simon

Thursday, August 25, 2016

A Story About a Door



In our journey of asking, seeking, and knocking for Anna’s full healing we have come to the doorway of stem cells.
Right after Simon’s birth we heard about other children with Anna’s injury benefitting from umbilical cord stem cells. We were discouraged to find the limitations the United States has placed on this treatment. In our research, we found only three universities doing clinical research on stem cells for children with cerebral palsy. Their qualifications were too rigid for Anna to be their lab rat.

We prayed (and pray) that God would graciously close doors for us if it isn’t His best for Anna. When it comes to stem cells the results vary. Some kids experience no change, some can walk and none are fully healed. Most parents state improvement in muscle tone, core strengthening, and vision. All of which would benefit Anna. It’s the abundant testimony of other special needs families that has led us to keep on asking God for this treatment. Anna has been accepted by two of most well reputed, established umbilical cord stem cell providers in the world.

  “Where God guides, He provides.” About a week after learning that we were not qualified for any US stem cell research, we found the big price tag for umbilical stem cell injections in other countries. Our insurance will not pay because its considered alternative. We prayed, brought this to you guys to pray over, we started a GoFundMe account and looked to fundraising. We were desperate, I was ready to slam this door shut. We drug our knuckles to do fundraising on top of serving Anna and Simon daily. My attitude tanked, “stem cells a privilege for the rich.”  The fundraising did bare some fruit, but it was too little a bite out of the funds needed. 

The greatest warning sign was that my heart was telling me that we were doing these things on our own strength. Rather than being led by the Spirit who always supplies the strength for His will done His way. We relented, and found a whole new dependence on God as our needs persisted and our resources did not increase. We looked at the door not knowing if we would ever walk through it.

But God has mercy, He still provides. Surrender is what came next as we waited and wondered how? We prayed with increasing expectancy, “Lord use stem cells, make a way for us to get them. If it pleases You.” Once surrendered, we remembered His faithfulness to us during Anna’s birth and how He dispatched a supernatural amount of monetary gifts through the Church and our family. We were discharged debt free and had enough to pay for the move back to Colorado. Wow!

While the fundraising brainstorming was still churning, and the stem cell price tag was tempting to discourage us, God moved. My brother Will shows up one day and says “have you looked into the value of your condo?” By God’s grace, the market value of my condo in Denver had tripled the purchase price.   Whoa… Lord.

My Condo has been under contract for a month and Lord willing we will close this coming Tuesday. Last week we applied for passports. Once the sale is complete we will buy tickets and make arrangements for stem cells and the crucial follow-through with three weeks of intensive therapy. At last the door seems open.

The key to this door of healing is this:  If God chose to use a poultice of pressed figs to heal Hezekiah, or mud to give sight to a blind man, or a bronze snake to cure Israel, then certainly it is possible that He use umbilical cord stem cells from Panamanian women who just gave birth to bring healing to Anna. Let it be known that all credit, honor, and glory for any betterment that Anna may or may not have is the Lords. Our hope for healing is in Christ and not receiving stem cells.

Please Pray:
-That we keep our eyes on Jesus
-For the sale of the condo to be blessed. 
-For us to receive the passports soon.
-that we would not be stressed or make Anna feel stressed regarding the planning of the trip
-that Anna could receive millions of umbilical cord stem cells and that they would populate intentionally, miraculously in the areas of injury bringing healing.

Saturday, July 23, 2016

A Promise for the Lame

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Dear Prayer Warriors,

Daily we face two things, inexplicable suffering and hope in Jesus. We see Anna struggle, why her? Why everyday? We know she is lame, and we embrace her “as is”.  We also see our Savior and Lord. –What are you purposing through Anna? Why not heal her now God? Our daily walk of faith intersects with suffering and hope. 

Having a heart of gratitude helps, encouragement helps. Most of all, we must draw our understanding from the Bible and what it says about God, Anna, trials, and us. Otherwise, it will become easy to believe lies, depress, and demand answers instead of trusting in God’s greater purpose. Right thinking seldom comes from within, yet always comes from yielding to God’s Word, grant us wisdom Lord! So what does God Word say? currently? to my heart? it speaks:

For Anna a promise of salvation:
"In that day," declares the LORD, "I will assemble the lame and gather the outcasts, Even those whom I have afflicted. I will make the lame a remnant and the outcasts a strong nation, And the LORD will reign over them in Mount Zion From now on and forever.” Micah 4:6-7

For God a promise of my submission:
“Our God is in the heavens; he does all that he pleases.” Psalm 115:3

For Trials and us a promise of purpose and help:
“And not only that, but we also rejoice in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. This hope will not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.” Romans 5:3-5

By God’s grace, Lindsey and I become a portrait of the servant Christ to a world that might not know Jesus as the Servant leader. Our little family, our little life which is so insignificant in the eternal realm is being used by God! In truth God doesn’t need us to accomplish His purposes.

Lindsey and I both gave our life to Christ Jesus as young adults. We lived out a good chunk of our life hugging sin, driven by emotions, falling for our many temptations, but then Jesus revealed Himself. His Truth freed us from hardships, defeated thinking, and addictions. Every day we need Him more, now with Anna that hope in Jesus is imperative.

The birth of Anna brought two people who loved each other even closer through the discipline of prayer. Before Anna we each had quiet devotion time with God -rarely ever shared time. Thankfully something new started when Anna came, we started doing family devotions daily. It is a priority so that Anna can listen to God’s Word even if she cannot see.

Please Pray:
-For Anna’s full healing and our faithful service to her until then.
-That the Word of God would have its right place and priority in our daily life.
-For the Condo sale to reach closing August 30th, it is now under contract (to enable alternative treatments).
-For Anna’s tone in her hands and arms that she would not fist her hands or have her arms pinned against her. That she could used them with variation of range and ability.
-For us to find a way that she can communicate to us.
-For the reflux to stop.
-For the Anna’s bed, her new chair, and her CES Medicaid waiver to be approved and here soon.
-For Lindsey and I to draft a "special needs trust" for Anna and to write a will
-For God to lead our marriage and grant rich communication between spouses.
-For Simon and Anna to connect more in ways only siblings can.


We love sweet Anna,
Nic, Lindsey, Anna, and Simon


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Wednesday, June 29, 2016

A Summer of Good Things


Dear Anna's Prayer Team,

God is growing Anna into one sweet little girl. I have been so full of thanksgiving over how well Anna is doing. I can't say there have been milestones that excite therapists and doctors (reflux, vision impairment, and high tone persist). Most of Anna's well being seems relational. She loves it when we sing. Any fussiness she might have is put on hold if we are singing. I was singing "just a spoonful of sugar" to her today and she was kicking with delight wanting to engage in any way she can what fun.

We see evidence of a girl who wants to communicate but cannot get her message across. Her cognition is at work so may the Lord enable it. We received two things that help Anna express at no cost to us. One is a switch toy that says "hello" and "good bye" for her. It is Lindsey's recorded voice as the greeting when she presses the button. This is in the intro phase. The other is an Upsee, this is a harness that enables any non-weight bearing child to hang from an adult waist and walk in step with them (see the photo below). It is a relational tool because there is an added togetherness that we experience as we walk with her literally. The first time I tried it was Father's Day, that was a wonderful treat. I thank the Lord for the spiritual gift of generosity that He imparts to cause such gifts for our family. (look at that head control!)

 Simon is always interested in getting her attention. I can tell that Simon is learning that Anna is different. She is the only person that Simon will gaze at and he will not "win her over." So he remains looking at her wondering why she isn't looking back like mom and dad do. I know many special needs parents struggle when strangers look and "stare" at their child. That has not been the case with us. Most often I see the tenderest side of humanity when they look at Anna. It is one of compassion and frequently followed up with "your daughter is beautiful." 

Please pray for the following things as we give them up to God in prayer for Him to speak to us, bless us and give us direction.

-For The Lord to lead us in selling our condo in August at a favorable price because the market indicates this (this will make us debt free and enable Anna to receive those expensive stem cell treatments).
-For our fundraising to continue for the "intensive model" of therapy (not covered by insurance, we are over a 1/4 there)
-For God's timing, that Anna would receive intensive therapy right after the stem cells. That God who is more than able would bless and bring His healing via these treatments
-For The Lord to approve and enable our Medicaid requests:
        -A medical, enclosed, twin-sized bed for Anna
        -to switch Anna from the "life limiting waiver" to the "CES waiver" (Children's Extensive Support) This would enable additional nurse help and additional therapies like Aquatic Therapy and Hippo Therapy
- For clarity with Lindsey's Job as Anna's CNA.
-For wisdom and direction as we meet with the GI doctor tomorrow, to see if Anna is a candidate for the Nissin Fundoplication surgery for her GERD/reflux
Love,
Nic, Lindsey, Anna, and Simon

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Thursday, June 2, 2016

Our Self-Sufficiency does not Suffice (Prayer List)


First lets thank God for all that He has already done in Anna. She is getting better, her reflux has become more and more manageable, flaring up periodically not continuously, only a couple of times a day. We feed her consistently with a wide variety of foods and she has been gaining weight. We got a generous check for therapeutic toys from our county's early intervention program. Anna is getting introduced to therapy "switch" toys which will serve as a way to communicate. Anna continues to sleep through the night. Her smiles are aplenty. We have a good group of therapists supporting us at our home with times that accommodate us. We are also doing extra therapies that are not covered by insurance. Anna is getting better with brother Simon bonding too! O and thank God for family walks, we live next to thousands of singing birds that capture Anna's attention every time.   

In truth is humbling to depend on Christ, only He can makes us live a blessed life even when we are needy. It is our God who hears and upholds us -and on top of that He keeps us encouraged.  God be praised for all the many privileges we have because of private insurance and Medicaid. I know that it is the love of God at work, He is so steady-handed with us. I see grace after grace when it comes to the context of our life. 


Believing on Jesus for healing is just a question of when. Please pray with us about the following:

For Equipment:

-for a Sleep Safe bed to be approved by our insurances. its a twin size, crank adjustable mattress, higher off the ground (for diaper changes too), and encased

-for the durable medical equipment to be durable (our stroller breaks down lots)
-for Anna to understand that a pushing button can communicate for her, May switch toys grow her cognition
-for a Hyperberic oxygen chamber (rental possibly), Upsee, and other alternative therapy devices not covered by our insurances

For Vision Impairment:
-for Anna’s sight as she prepares for glasses.
-for minor eye surgery over the summer to adjust the muscles in her eyes that are causing a misalignment when she looks from side to side
-for the cortical visual area of the brain and the optic nerve to heal
-for the Anchor center (blind school) to continue to develop her eyes, as well as sensory development

For GERD:
-For the strengthening of Anna's core muscles that would help the esophagus sphincter to work properly to eliminate reflux
-For consistent giving of the Antacid, and easy burps after each meal
-For no acidic damage to the esophagus and no aspiration when refluxing

For Cerebral Palsy:

-For increased range of motion and stretching.
-For relaxed limbs (for low tone), able to summon strength intelligently as needed not erratically stemming from her spastic quadriplegia 
-For our PT Robin who engages Anna better than all our our previous PT's that God would used her to bring wellness to Anna 
-For Anna to be weight bearing in the hopes of her walking some day.

For Cognition and Speech:
-That Anna would be able to express herself in a way that we can better serve her, through signing, toys, etc...(what works for Anna).
-For God to open her mouth and touch her tongue to bring fourth speech, ability to express thoughts, we know she is often attentive trying to figure things out
-For Anna to have more opportunities to experience things that do captivate her: symphony, birds, motion (swinging, bicycling, swimming). 

For Neuro:
-That the newly placed shunt tube would effectively extract cerebral spinal fluid (not too much, not too little). That it remains well placed.
-For the Hypsarrhythmia that she got diagnosed with (again) would leave this instant. For wisdom in treating this, that it would not provoke her brain to unravel into greater problems
-That Anna would concentrate and learn amid the distraction of her brainwaves.

For Social Media and Fundraising:

-for God to bless our fundraising efforts and our gofundme account for intensive therapy and stem cell if the Lord wills.
-for wisdom to obey His lead that we would not do things in our own strength, or exacerbate those that love us
-for the Lord to be exalted on Anna’s public Facebook page, that He would use it as a vessel for show those watching that only God can save and heal to visit it you don't need a Facebook account www.facebook.com/annaunlimited

Our endurance is thanks to our hope in Jesus',