Dear Prayer Warriors,
On Anna’s
bedroom wall I nailed a woven hat with a ribbon on it. I bought it with full fatherly
affection around Easter last year. It’s lovely. When I eagerly came home with
it, it dawned on me that Anna could not wear the hat because it has a
protruding rim for the whole circumference. Anna’s head has to rest on something
almost always. I felt stupid for a second, like duh, I just want to chuck it
like a Frisbee. By God’s grace after that moment of being heartbroken about it God
gave me hope. I chose to see the hat as a symbol of waiting on the Lord for His
healing of Anna. I placed it on the wall in wonder until Anna could wear it
because she will have gained head control.
At the
center of these Prayer e-mails I want to be honest about my relationship with God
and my family. I have found that honesty drives empathy, which compels prayers.
Then together we surrender and lay down
Anna before God.
Truth be told, my faith isn’t mature its maturing. So it’s
normal that I share imperfect incomplete understandings of faith and God as I try
to better grasp His Word and not carelessly handle Truth. God’s healing has left
me confused; I also sense some personal fears that may confuse my mindset. I want
to work through and explain a bit about Anna, Panama, and Portland. What is God
asking me to believe Him for regarding Anna?
I’m not grumbly
or feeling like God miss led us because He is in control. Both trips were met
with much grace and help. It’s more the fact that my faith tells me that He is
healer, so what’s holding Him back? Perhaps I’m appealing to Him about the
results. Truth be told there has been healing/progress that originated from these
travels. You have to be around Anna often to see it. Anna’s therapists have
noticed a decrease in tone/spasticity, praise God. Wrists that were unwilling to
rotate a certain way now do so without resistance. Most noticeable to me are
her eyes that are working to grasp their surroundings -much more than ever
before. They are much more engaged and intentional. Thank you Lord.
As you well
know I have wanted her core muscles to really spruce up, that her reflux would
end and the head control would be mastered... As if to say that I would be ok
with the other issues still existing. Why isn’t it enough for me to recount how
God kept her alive in the early days, how she has been spared of seizures
miraculously, and especially how God meets us every day to empower us to care
for her?
I’m confused
because healing Anna is an easy and little thing for God. He also has a
stunning track record of healing even today. Prayer warriors, we prayed out of
expectancy, fervently. So I humbly ask “Lord, where is the healing?” To
clarify: I’m not asking this to guilt, scold, or demand God do what I want for Anna.
I ask because I know He is able, why wouldn’t He? I trust His reason is good. My
role is to wisely say “It is well with my soul.”
Anna is a
gift no matter her degree of handicap. I think the best prayer we can pray is “God
be glorified through the healing of Anna in Your time in as much as it pleases
You.”
Please Pray:
-For
Anna to qualify for the Medicaid CES waiver, we first applied in
Febuary and were turned down. Anna is being reevaluated tomorrow. This
would enable increased therapy hours and options as well as a fund for
things like a van ramp.
-For
reflexes, she has no defenses like when she is being attacked by Simon.
She'll take the hit and cry. Lindsey is trying to train her arm and
legs to activate when Anna is attacked.
-Praise God we have hardwood floors! Pray that we would now do our part and use them by placing anna in her crawler daily.
-For God to take away her reflux, that Anna could one day feed herself and eat something more solid than purees.
-For my heart to be yielded to the Lord's will and trusting in His call for me to father Anna.
-For a RN to provide the needed relief of care that is heavy on Lindsey. We have a two companies looking but no match yet.
-Praise God for Anna's health returning to her, no more congestion and coughing, she is sleeping through the night.
-For the ability to roll over on her own
-That
I would be gentle and attentive to her needs and the person she is
becoming. Often i forget she is changing and growing just like Simon.
Thanks for
working through this with us,
Nic,
Lindsey, Anna, and Simon
No comments:
Post a Comment