Dearest Prayer Warriors,
In 2 Samuel 15, King David is fleeing from Jerusalem because his
son Absalom was closing in to overthrow him. He acts like a defeated king
leaving his city weeping, barefooted, praying, and covering his head all the way
up to the Mount of Olives. David confesses that he hasn’t been pleasing to God
and that he might not return, David says of God: “Let Him do to me whatever
seems good to Him.” Almost like a take-me-out-of-my-misery-plea.
His household is with him weeping and walking almost like an exile scene.
Then it says “David was coming to the summit, where God was
worshiped...” (2 Samuel 15:32) The king goes to a place of worship in a time when
he is being defeated, when suffering and misery at the hand of his son removes
him from his city. How is worship generated in David then and there? This
context in which David wrote Psalm 3. The king’s world is caving in but on papyrus
paper the king worships. David’s praise and confidence in God shown in Psalm 3
is unshakable. By faith, inwardly he is not a man of misery and suffering though
it is all around. I’ll have to ask David where exactly he was when he wrote
Psalm 3, I wouldn’t be surprised if he says “the Mount of Olives.”
To varying degrees Anna suffers daily, it can be as little as
her daily gasping for her breathing or a panicked cough to clear the saliva pooling
in her throat. I think also of her suffering from the sores on her hands and
wrists because she bits herself almost all day long. Our suffering as a parent
is more inward, harping on our hearts and minds. My pastor sums up this version
of suffering with the question “so how are you dealing with the disappointment?”
it sounds harsh but it is accurate. Our journey can leave us like David saying “let
God do whatever He sees fit to do to me.” Who wants to make our medical decisions?
On our own we would be numb from them, too many too often. Nobody is wise when choosing
the lesser of two evils.
Instead pray for us that we would come to a point in our walk
with Jesus where we can answer that disappointment with worship. Lindsey and I
have chosen to see our daughter’s suffering as a part of God’s will. For us,
the suffering is present and at times loud -but let the attributes of God be on
our lips! Let the qualities of Christ’s righteousness bless the Lord from
within us! May the complexities of Anna and her suffering make us humble and
holy! By faith we say “it is well with my soul.” Surely this is the Psalm 3
worship being applied to our context.
Today for example, we visited the physiatrist. It’s gotta be my least favorite
of Anna’s specialists. This doctor evaluates the spasticity of the cerebral
palsy as it relates to Anna’s physical growth, her joints, muscle tone, and motor
skill ability. This doctor prescribes the muscle relaxer, braces, and the
medical equipment. As we were in the room waiting, my bride looked over at me and
said “are you tired, you don’t look yourself, are you ok?” I was caught
preoccupied in anxiety, all I could think about is the suffering. I had
harbored all these things about Anna that I expected the doctor to say. Like my
guilt for not stretching Anna as much as I possibly could or how placing Anna
in her stander 30 minutes more each day would have made her hip joint come in
perfect. It is the Accuser, Satan that infiltrated me via anxious thinking. Seeing the suffering is easy especially when
false guilt wants to join in. I must ask the Lord to bring me to these meetings
“prayed up”, may the doctor’s office be a place of worship not inner accusation.
In truth, the doctor did say the bad after numerous encouragements and good
things. Anna is not degenerative because my God is restorative.
Our Praiseworthy God works amid all suffering all the time in
this fallen world under no obligation to intervene. Yet He chooses to and for
His glory and fame. The miraculous is still at work in the suffering! Therefore, let’s give God accolades and ascribe
worth to the name of Jesus no matter the “disappointment”. In truth, our praises
are actually a provision that God gives us to endure everything, even our
praise to Him is a gift from Him!
Please Pray for:
-Renée to be BFF’s with Anna
-a miraculous placement of the femur bone into the hip joint
-wisdom and caution for the right dosage as we up the muscle
relaxer medication, that all the efforts and work in head control and core
muscles would not be compromised by over medication.
-a greater surrender to the sovereignty of God and His will
for us.
-the Lord to inhabit the praises of His people amid their
sufferings
*Praise and honor to our Lord for upholding Anna and
answering our prayers with grace, love, and miracles over the last 5 years.
Anna turns 5 years old on Saturday!
Humble thanks,
The Currat 5
