Dear Prayer Warriors,
As my family and I were remembering, grieving, and living though the 3rd anniversary of the loss that has so marked us. We kept busy that day. Late in the morning, I looked to my phone for a quick break from it all only to hear about Camp Mystic and the Guadalupe River. I heard amid people trying to talk about it, over and over: “I can’t imagine what you are going through.” My flesh, Mr. Secular himself said: “well I got a pretty good idea of how awful that is.” As I reflected a bit more, this tragedy took the eyes off of me and my context. I felt the Lord asking me to grow in compassion then and there. To not be secular about it, desensitized or scroll to another topic. I prayed for the missing, for mercy, comfort, for good to come out of this.
This call to action reminded me of something Lindsey said in the first few months of losing Simon. She told me that she has laid to rest the idea that God will always keep and protect his children from the enemy. She genuinely believed in God being a fortress, strong tower -until He isn’t. The healer of all our diseases -until He doesn’t. God permits the free will of mankind to play out no matter how damaging to his children: murder, kidnapping, sex trafficking, kids dying… it can happen to any saint. Disciples of Jesus do not get a pass from the domain of darkness physically, tangibly or emotionally. No, they have to walk though it, this is spiritual warfare. Lindsey concluded that the power of God is most clear to a watching world when He allows his children to “suffer well” as they rely on God through the unimaginable.
The bible tells me that there is good and evil warring here and now. A duality of kingdoms existing in the spirit world. One is the dominion of darkness and the second the kingdom of God’s Son. Praise be to God, that The Lord transfers us who believe and depend into the Kingdom of His Son. Colossians 1:13 imparts to the believer a better way to see these tragedies when they arrive at your door. A way to beckon the holy God into our lives when things are not good. It says: “For He (God) has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son He loves,” Notice the past tense of the phrase. For the believer in Jesus, this transfer has already happened. This is the reality to remember to cling to when the impossible, or the worst happens.
I had tragedy when I living in the dominion of darkness. My struggles allowed me to embrace my sins and taught me to run to addiction for coping. When my dad died, I turned to blaming others and revenge made sense. When people go through child loss and they live in the domain of darkness the don’t move onward easily or at all. Life seems joyless and often their loss becomes a type of idol or an injustice that they demand others recognize and pay homage to. In the darkness of death living past it becomes overwhelming, grief gives way to despairing and ultimately to hopelessness.
In the Kingdom of His Son there is hope. Jesus endures all things with me. When I live out suffering and affliction obediently God is glorified. With time, good is metamorphosed from it. Love and trust in Almighty God allows me to leave what I don’t know in His hands rather than obsess over it and shake my fist at Almighty God. His Sovereign plan will one day explain these tragedies if I need to know the “why”. I was struck by the dominion of darkness however I do not live nor respond from there.
I am a Christian who lost a child in this dark world.
But before that, I am a slave to a King.
His kingdom pushes back the darkness.
That way I hold onto Jesus Christ more than the child.
That way God’s Word heals my broken heart.
That way prayers are answered.
That way brothers and sisters can minister to me.
That way I relent from grieving.
That way heaven becomes a reunion.
That way I can now comfort others.
That way I have a testimony of for God’s glory.
That way I am not alone.
Generosity Hits
5 years ago, I found out that a Christian organization named Joni and Friends have a network of worldwide Respite Retreats for families raising disabled kids. The closest one to me is about 7 hours away in Nebraska. In response, I eagerly went to my store director and told him the good news; I proceeded to request for the time off. It was less than two months away. He knew my family well enough to get excited for how perfect this all seemed. However, after looking at the leader schedule he said it was not possible. He and I agreed that this was a must for the following year.
It slipped to the back mind and my store director resigned later that year. The following year’s retreat came and went also, I didn’t even think of it. Then Simon died. Upon hearing about my loss, my old boss reached out and attended the funeral. I thought it was super cool that he would do that especially since we haven’t seen or talked to each other for well over a year. For that season, he became one of those people God had placed in my life to check in on me after the funeral. Amid his support one day, he calls me saying, “Remember that retreat you wanted to go on a couple of years back? Well, my wife and I want to send you to that respite re6treat.” The gesture was so amazing, especially as the dust was settling, it gave us something to look forward to. They paid for our week at Joni and Friends and it ministered to our whole family so much even though we were in the throws of sorrow. I remember writing an entry about the times of worship here at Joni and Friends and how unmasked everyone was.
Last year, we saved the amount needed from our tax return so we can return. It was a joy to see many of the same volunteers and other families.
This year we did the same thing, saving up the cost from our tax return. One thing we never paid attention to is that an automatic fundraising page is created when you sign your family up. We simply concluded that there were other families perhaps in a more financially difficult spot that could benefit from people giving, so we never shared our fundraising page and resolved to pay for the retreat ourselves. Then I got a couple of random emails saying someone contributed to our fundraising page. “My what?” was my reaction. Someway, somehow two strangers paid for our entire family respite camp this year.
It was an extension of the Lord’s grace. Given that there are always things on Anna’s needs list not covered by insurance, we thought we ought to redirect the funds we were going to use for camp to getting Anna a new tricycle. Riding in her current tricycle helps Anna’s legs and bowel movements plus Anna loves rolling around in it. Lindsey did the work to find a foundation that paid half of the 4 thousand dollars. And suddenly we have our respite retreat money to pour into Anna’s new tricycle! Praise God. I will have to send you a picture of Anna on her new tricycle when she gets it.
Praise God for:
-Our third year at Joni and Friends family retreat in Nebraska. We have been prayed over, and counseled, and we participated in that other worldly worship again. Lindsey and I have been resting and making puzzles. We are having daily family fun, singing hymns around a campfire, and I believe go carts starts in about 30 minutes!
-Praise God for a 57 volunteers for 16 families for a week.
-How completely available God is to those who seek Him through death and darkness.
Please Pray for:
-our safe return to Colorado, we are heading out tomorrow.
-Growth and change as we are called to be teachable and growing each day.
-Those that lost children in the Texas flooding. We aren’t even a month away from the incident. Most families are probably just getting ready to start back at work in this season. (if their timeline is anything like mine was).
Thanks for walking with us and praying for us, the Currats
