Paradigm shift! -I love saying that. Coming to trust Jesus at a late age (where many are set in their ways)makes me know the saying paradigm shift. That being the paramount turning point in life. A colossal change of heart which inturn, will transform all of me. Keep in mind, when I let Christ into my life, I wasn't ready to quit drinking, smoking, cussing or any sin. God just overwhelmingly revealed to me that truth is not subjective or relative to a individual's own experiance.
The truth within me before my personal relationship with Christ was: my journey of self discovery, my allegaince to love, my knowledge of the cultural world around me, and also my tollerance of each unique person. These are drowning virtues even with determination hope and interest fades.
So now I'm claiming Christ, and as I grow through my paradigm shift I come armed with prayer. What privilage it is to do so, I've casted fears of Satan in prayer, I've surrendored my addictions slowly but surely through prayer, I've come to pray for hundereds -even enemies. Praying is a excersize of faith that lets me not fear the future. I'm not scared of dying, or my provisions, or what others think. I just am pleased to pray to God, granted He's all knowing but I can't quite comprehend the exact extent of what that means. I don't even pay that close attention to what I'm thinking of sometimes; So I pray.
Now I'm new and it hasn't even been a year and God has place sin after sin on my heart and made me ask "Nic do you really need this?" These were addictions I was ready to take to the grave with me. Instead, I called on the stregnth of the Holy Spirit and the plan of God the Father, to let Jesus forgive me and apply shears to my branches that have grown wild and weak.
So, after a period of having a hard time falling asleep without my self prescribed sleep aides (liquor and weed), I just keep busy till I'm tired. And stay patient as I toss and turn in bed. I do write which is something that I'm slowly reenabling. I got time on my hands to please others with cookies, calling and sharing. My life is cleaner and busier. Doing stuff like flossing, writing shoping lists, sleeping eight or more hours, trying new things.
This is a letter to promote only the love of the Savior of the world: Jesus Christ. It feels good to say it and while an unbeliever I was annoyed by these claims. Now I know the truth and seek its' exactitude in the Bible. I look at myself differently now, Optimistically. I look to play my part in Christ's body on earth. To live up to the claims God makes in the Bible when discribing His children (there are many).
I pray for patience as I am alone, I've separated myself from the fruitless avenues of my past. I'm not to return if i fill myself with the right things. And fill my life with the right people. -Lord your my provider- and so for fellowship development I got two Bible studies, chruch, Awana and a young adult group. For servanthood I'm joining the Boys and Girls club as a volunteer for four hours a week, work and family inbetween. I cherish this departure from the brainwashing and deception that this world strained on me. At the same time i'm in the unique position to testify as a star witness for Jesus on cases involving addiction, art, philosophy, writing, music, mental illnesses, film, Frenchness, travel, tennis (the scoring can be very decieving.) I just wanted to write something and i didn't really have a story to tell, just how anxious i feel starting over after this paradigm shift and the immense possibilities it yeilds. Peace out.
