Here i was turning the corner into an alley to catch my breath; while being chased by a mob. I duck in time to see them run past my alley, I outsmarted them. This idea illustrates what I thought would happen day I gave my life to Christ. Only it was more like this:
I was running away from the "mob" my family opnions. I was running from diagnosis the doctors gave me. I kept running away from the debt that I created with Credit cards or ex-girlfriends. This is to name only the front runners of the mob.
Things like drugs, drinking and smoking conditioned my mind to keep on running instead of facing this angry looking mob. My self evaluations as a runner were hopeless and without a goal-- just run like hell. Was I to run until my heart bursts and my lungs colapse? There's some valor in that: not quiting, tolerating the elements, avoiding conflict. I aged, the mob got bigger and my pace slower. Turning to God, turning the corner seemed like back tracking. The mob would surely catch me then.
I fell hard. I got up trying to run (doing things my way). The lack of rest was too much, the pain throbbed. All of what I've tried to run from did not go away with age. On the ground, i looked for the mob to pass me by and for God to pass me over. i felt i listened to my heart all my life: the capsule for the spirit within me. Why then is my run now a crawl?
No time to think, quick roll into the alley, the mob is coming. I layed in the darkness and mist of the alley all balled up. The burden of the mob was upon me. They stoped and saw me there -a wounded broken man. Some had pity, some gave medicine, others prayed over me, some forgave me and others didn't help.
That corner I crawled to represents the chance for me to put all my trust in Jesus Christ. Believe me I had passed up thousands of corners just like this one because i was running. Realizing that Jesus is acutally who He says He is and that the restoration of my life rests in my giving my burdens to Him and obeying the Bible.
I was too exhausted, I was alone again amid darkness. I opened my eyes, and saw the big city walls build up so high around me. Where had all the outside pressure gone? Society, Corporations, Politics, failed relationships, useless B.A., and all those strains of my heart? No mob, its quiet like when a thick coat of snow covers the city.
The white light of God and His plan for me calls me to walk -but I can't walk, and its seems quite lonely. I eyed around the corner back onto the street, From here I have to baby step back to health and count on the presence of the Holy Spirit to be strong within me. My life is activated. I'm walking as a servant, I walk again by thinking outside of myself. I am confident with God in prayer and certain of my forgiveness by seeking Christ first.
I care and love my mob, now i go to my mom with problems instead of hiding them. They're changed upon seeing me leave this alley healed, calm, and whole. At times, my life strains to be Christlike in their midst, I'm new at being fisher of men. I still struggle with sharing my faith to people i love. But God actually works through me now and I continue to cry when i feel His gentle grace alive within me. The life i have now is one of answered prayer, Constant hope, servitude and good old fashioned Joy. Walking with God is just that: a constant growth walk.
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