I'm back in the dealings of Moody, Work, and my one bedroom apartment. My car is still feisty and rebellious towards its innate functions. Aren't we all rebellious towards our innate function should it defined as worshiping and loving God?
I just want to illustrate where my life is constantly rebellious to God. Ever run late to the airport? Speeding in the car, running in the airport, and totally irritated by the line of people checking bags before you for a flight that will leave an hour later than yours? Thoughts are constantly fixated on the ever changing percentage of making or missing the flight. There is not time to go to the restroom, your name is on the concourse PA as a "final boarding call" and you're still putting on your shoes, and sliding on your belt after the TSA folks finish with you. -Have I run the race? Yes. Will I finish? Yes. Have I kept my eyes on Jesus?...
Keeping your eyes on Jesus has to do with prioritizing and big-picture framework. These are not strong points of my faith. For one I don't think to manage my time, prioritizing doesn't happen much. And two, without the big-picture ( what God is doing) I address immediate needs and panic to make it to my gate on time. If i played out the worse case scenario that would give way to big-picture thinking: So I miss my flight: Boo-hoo. There are many more. Unfortunately along the way I forget to consult Jesus, to look to Him, REST in Him amid the hub-bub. Dealing with Bi-Polar One I find my mania intensifies these urges to speed-up.
My days are so busy out here that I feel like I've been trying to catch that last minute flight for two months now. With this time in Colorado, I have taken a big-picture breath. I've been challenged to implement the priorities I claim in my life.
1. God, My intimate devotion to Him, loving Him, finding out who He is, being with Him, reading His Words, singing. Resting in His shadow. Trusting my circumstance to Him. Insisting on His promises in Scripture. Exodus 14:14 "The Lord will fight for you, you need only be still."
2. My neighbors and family. Relationships, available to give of myself, bless others in serving, perpetuate gestures of love, (maybe why I'm writing this instead of my Apologetic's paper right now) To declare blessings on others.
3. general personal growth. With God, vision of serving Him, discovering my vocation, being able to provide for others. Shelter, my sweet ride.
4. School.
5. Work.
The problem is this. I stress and worry about 4 and 5 like its number one. If God was my place of employment and He implements what He wants in a worker (He does), I would be on final warning for violating company policy. When was the last time I felt bad for being late to reading my Bible? Or when have I been pulled into the office for doing a no call no show when it comes to praying for others first? Have I ever been written up by God because I didn't turn the other cheek, on the day God was counting on it?
Indulge by seeing Jesus' role in realigning God's business and my usefulness as his employee despite those constant violations. Does anyone really deserve a raise?
That is why the passage I read today was so striking. John 2:17. After Jesus whips and overturns the vendors in the temple courts. After witnessing, His disciples say about Jesus "Zeal for your house will consume me." This referring to Psalm 69:9 about developing a holy zeal for when the Lord is mocked. When have i gotten seriously cheesed at the state of my #1 and #2. In contrast I can tell you i get cheesed daily about my performance with #4 and #5.
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