Two months before Anna's birth, Lindsey and I went on a homemade parent retreat to
seek the Lord's will for our family. Before Lindsey would become too uncomfortably
large from pregnancy. We wanted to leave the city and talk specifically about
our fears and hopes for this daughter we were expecting in three months’ time.
We needed mommy and daddy grace. The practical aim was to minimize the
surprises of parenthood. God blessed our home-made retreat, just the two of us.
The weekend was a snowy wonderland giving us that "fire is so
delightful" feeling. We carved a little time to watch an epic gridiron
wildcard match-up where the Colts stunned the Chiefs. A classic see-saw battle
if I remember right. I want to give you some
details because I believe it was a refreshing weekend authored by God, not our
own scheming. Our retreat was a time of hoping, and dreaming. We recommitted to
the Lord our household for His works. We read God's Word together.
Our retreat was 6 sessions 3 from Lindsey and 3 from me. we started and ended each session with prayer about the subjects covered. Lindsey, who is always more organized, presented worksheets from books ranging from finances to parental discipline. Her sessions were about preparedness. We talked lots about biblical discipline, and how to avoid a child centered home. We talked about parents we knew and wanted to mimic. We also recalled key influences from our childhood.
My sessions were made up of four pages of nervous, situational questions straight off the top of my head:
"What would our Sundays look like?" "Sundays during the football season?"
"How much do we spend on birthday parties? On gifts?" "When's bed time?"
"What lacked in your childhood that you want our daughter to have?"
"How much sugar are we gonna give her?" "At what age can I introduce Red Vines?"
Our retreat was 6 sessions 3 from Lindsey and 3 from me. we started and ended each session with prayer about the subjects covered. Lindsey, who is always more organized, presented worksheets from books ranging from finances to parental discipline. Her sessions were about preparedness. We talked lots about biblical discipline, and how to avoid a child centered home. We talked about parents we knew and wanted to mimic. We also recalled key influences from our childhood.
My sessions were made up of four pages of nervous, situational questions straight off the top of my head:
"What would our Sundays look like?" "Sundays during the football season?"
"How much do we spend on birthday parties? On gifts?" "When's bed time?"
"What lacked in your childhood that you want our daughter to have?"
"How much sugar are we gonna give her?" "At what age can I introduce Red Vines?"
90%
of all of what we talked about I wrote down for accountability down the road.
We also made a list of house rules. We talked about how to disciple this
daughter and which spiritual disciplines could bond our family in times of
nightly devotion.
We assumed our child would have just the sin nature as her only sickness...
Today, three months after Anna’s birth, I’m tempted to look back at the homemade parent retreat in light of Anna’s trauma, injury and suffering. I was tempted to think that God was cruel. Was our hoping and praying all in vein? There is a total disconnect because of Anna's HIE injury. After what we went through as a family I am struggling and fighting to recall this parent retreat as blessed.
The retreat was so sweet in the moment. It was -but Satan wants me to grumble at God. Honestly there is a glaring temptation to say: "how could you let us dream like that God?" And get a brain injured child in return. But with a thrust of faith and a surrender at the foot of the Almighty we give up our blame and our "why God?" to humbly trust in a Shepherd who is going to take us out of our family's valley. We have faith that He is working in this, none of my daughter's suffering is meaningless. The memory of the retreat, the content remains sweet! even though suction machines and standers are now in the picture. We committed to God so much as parents -He'll use it. He's refining our parental dreams so it better glorifies Him. By God's grace He is making good out of it. The retreat was a transitioning gift into parenthood.
We are humbled to know that God will restore Anna fully (to the point that I have to double check if Anna skipped out on her chores before going out to play). Its in the Bible, He will restore Anna its just a matter of where and when. God is using the memory of this parent retreat for His glory, it’s just a piece that doesn't fit right yet in my family's puzzle. We remain so very surprised at how things unfolded. We praise the Lord who Shepherded us through.
In hindsight, let it also be known, the retreat confirmed to me that Lindsey was
going to be a terrific mother! Nobody compares to
Lindsey. So I must always remember in conflict, Lindsey is not the enemy. Daily
I must choose her. In remembering this rich time
we spent so close to Anna's birth we are challenged to remember to choose Anna daily "as is". Even if the legs and arms misfire and are stubbornly strong, we
receive Anna (my daughter) "as is". She is not the enemy.
God equipped us then for the road ahead. He is preparing us now for later still.
We assumed our child would have just the sin nature as her only sickness...
Today, three months after Anna’s birth, I’m tempted to look back at the homemade parent retreat in light of Anna’s trauma, injury and suffering. I was tempted to think that God was cruel. Was our hoping and praying all in vein? There is a total disconnect because of Anna's HIE injury. After what we went through as a family I am struggling and fighting to recall this parent retreat as blessed.
The retreat was so sweet in the moment. It was -but Satan wants me to grumble at God. Honestly there is a glaring temptation to say: "how could you let us dream like that God?" And get a brain injured child in return. But with a thrust of faith and a surrender at the foot of the Almighty we give up our blame and our "why God?" to humbly trust in a Shepherd who is going to take us out of our family's valley. We have faith that He is working in this, none of my daughter's suffering is meaningless. The memory of the retreat, the content remains sweet! even though suction machines and standers are now in the picture. We committed to God so much as parents -He'll use it. He's refining our parental dreams so it better glorifies Him. By God's grace He is making good out of it. The retreat was a transitioning gift into parenthood.
We are humbled to know that God will restore Anna fully (to the point that I have to double check if Anna skipped out on her chores before going out to play). Its in the Bible, He will restore Anna its just a matter of where and when. God is using the memory of this parent retreat for His glory, it’s just a piece that doesn't fit right yet in my family's puzzle. We remain so very surprised at how things unfolded. We praise the Lord who Shepherded us through.
God equipped us then for the road ahead. He is preparing us now for later still.
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