Rights to write right

God through His infinite avenues of reaching me; has asked me to use words again. Its not a minor like: "Nic, dude can you write a little something, I dig your tidbits. Or Granny needs the monthly scoop." Its more like the encouraging approval I got from my mom when I wrote an essay on mountain climbing in the fifth or sixth grade. She was floored at the detail, the emotion, the overall feeling it gave her. "Wow you have a tallent and gift for writing." At the time I didn't know what that meant. But i figure I should keep on doing it, -pleasing mom was my part time job back then (now its full time). She probably doesn't even remember that moment, but that really persuaded me to keep on writing and that continued (stop n' go) until I got my degree in Liberal Arts for writing.

It was a merited degree, there was a long journey taken to get my BA. My mind was super anayltical, inventive, informed, and funny. I lived in my head so much as a writer that I didn't notice each thought become as a brick, one by one being stacked by a demonic mason separating me from the earth, family, God and a girlfriend. Once tested, my theory and writings got washed away because of their foundations.

Now I delight in thinking and writing about what is. My life is adorned with self-control so the Holy Spirit can teach me away from sin. Being a writer is a lot like believeing in Jesus Christ; in that it requires the person to be committed 24-7 in order to bear fruit. As I hear God asking me to remove the blame I placed on writing, I notice how much as changed. Its scary because an author is suppose to have a recognizable diction, tone, and point of view. For once and for all: find your voice and go with it (the sooner the better).

Well my voice has been mute for four years and horribly endeavoring in darkness before that. Come to find, with Christ in my heart its like my "voice" is going through puberty all over again. So aside from my finding a cyber world to revive writing daily. I've been asked to explore the possibility of writing a little blurb to encourage and convict my church family in the bulletin each Sunday. This is just an idea that the my Pastor wanted to try out, so it could be shelved and never happen. Nonetheless I want to share the entries here since my only aim is to give glory to God. Its amazing that Lord could use the tallents given to me! God willing, I might not work retail security till retirement.

I have an entry called "Excuses, excuses, excuses -no more" dated October 8th. Where I confidently outline this call to tell the A-Z of my redemption by Jesus in script format. Well that fire is still lit within me for a three month project I just haven't started since that e-mail and to think it would almost be done right now. Yet God willed a fixer-upper condo (blessing) and no software (hurdle) to keep me away from this project. It seems the title of that blog entry is a total lie. I just know that God will use me so I should just pray about it for now.

Here is my first attempt at writing something for my church family as a bulletin insert:

Use This Church

Red Rocks Fellowship has been a base rock in my spiritual foundation after the corner stone. I think that once Jesus' redeeming work was willed/invited in me, healing began to snowball. The slope my snowball was on got steep once I walked through these doors.

Willingly saying yes to things was new to me. This church constantly inquired: "hey want to do this? or be a part of that? or, please pray for so and so?" It would slightly infringe into my pre-established life (schedule changing at work, my cursing time, etc...) -but I felt this was Christ beaconing me to the work he's prepared for me. It would not have been a big deal if I said "no." Anyone else could have done what this church asked of me. But I willingly said "yes" just to see what would happen. I think being broke as a joke helped me feel that sharing time is a temporary replacement to tithing.

I came and gave. "Serving Christ at the foot of His mountains..." Even softball was me saying yes to the Lord where usually it would have been a big fat "no." Other times it was just a matter of waking up early and cutting down trees; Singing in the choir; Ref Nic; Spending vacation on a mission trip. All this convinced me that God is baiting my life. He's seducing my activities to conform to His Son and glorify Him.

With time, God's grace will blanket and heal brokenness. My emotions of being overwhelmed depressively or acting out in a manic Bi-Polar fit. Has been placed and re-placed at Jesus' feet. I know that this will be redeemed by the Holy Spirit because faith is deeper than all emotions and that is a fact that the Devil didn't want me to know. As that healing transfuses in me (Lord willing), I'll be busy with Awana, Bible studies and prayer -(and my meds).

There is an experience of wonder at the unfolding of the life God sees in all His children. Its within us eager to be tapped into. I realized through RRF that serving is best thing to grow in a faithful life to God. Also that Evangelism is one of the hardest, just ask the Dare 2 Share Conference kids. I serve Jesus with my heart, my time and my money. All of which is the Lord's.