Sprouting up in Christ's Light

My life with Jesus is good and its been recognized by some to be amazing. It doesn't get to my head much because first of all, I'm not actually living it, so the credit belongs to the Holy Spirit living through me. I'll take props for a willing heart and and a devoted faith. But the works are God's.

The proof is when my brother Will (who knows me very well) is having a beer and I share in his company -but not the brew. That amazes me because I knew myself to be someone who never passes up a social pint yet there I was: without judgement, just happy with the freedom of not desiring a beer or disfunctionally craving the intoxicated feeling. I want Christ, His mercy, His love and His promises -not beer. That to me is proof of how good my life is with Jesus. But then God adds a random blessing as Will's spackling and I'm painting: my brother who doesn't show emotions at all (except good ones). Just candidly states: "I just can't believe it Nic... I'm really surprised and glad you got out of that root you were in; that seemed like forever." I smiled joyfully and said: "If your thanking me, your welcome. But you got to thank God also because I couldn't have done it without Him." There was a moment of peacfilled silence between us after. That is God's awesome power that anyone can have through faith.

The proof is in business card. Close to a year ago I changed my outlook, opnions and attitude towards authority. I did it while I was working with a very difficult boss through prayer and silence. I wanted to obey Romans chapter 13. After three failed promotions, I got promoted and moved away from the tough boss. This wan't a big move on the surface; but I insisted in my mind that this change of store and job type was God's way of helping me seek him first in everything -to let the new me out. So in seeking Him first, I erased my long-standing "workin' for the man." attitude. Or the "The system is using me" feeling. Or the strong hold of thinking that my bosses don't care about me. Now I'm embraced, cared for and praised by my boss. I've gotten a big second promotion in less than six months and yes: I got business cards that my company paid for! (I'm gonna use them as To:/From: tags this Christmas.) Not to mention, I am in the position of authority now. My boss is moving on and he wants me to take his position. I'm nominated to be re-promoted to a level where the income is enough to support a family. I'm a long shot in my mind but still I'm meeting with the district boss this week, what delight from my past. Talk about Satan tricking my thoughts dooming my success until I Submitted to Jesus.

The proof is in the future. Today I attended a debt seminar at church. God asked me to evaluate my spending, bill paying and tithing. The Lord has placed my sins with money in my lap. Since I quit gambling, I thought my money-sinning days were through (Just the stupid sins it turns out). My sin is mainly psychological: I have all these knotted up strong holds talking me out of faithfully tithing, seeing the money as God's, or not diligently budgeting. Sin is dark, addicting and shameful; all of a sudden my spending and credit resembled this. I felt wretched about what I've done with what God has given me. Debt is a sin that never really phased me because its socially acceptable. I owe Chase, Capital one, a morgage and Mastercard. So how I can justify eating out daily? Convenience? The truth is that I'm living greedily if i'm not trying to remove debt, have an emergency fund, or multiply the money God gave me. That's done by giving back in gratitude to God what's God's. "Like a river, not a reservoir."

We will see how God changes me this year to executing repentance from my didn't-know-it-was-there-sin of money management. The outlook is not depressing for me, because I qualify only for low credit limits cards. I've been highly undereducated for much too long about spending so I look forward to fixing this before I do have a family, company, or am entrusted with more money. My mom's great with finances so I feel less than proud about knowing so little. But on a sin level, I just want to exterminate those mental (defeatist) barriers that I don't usually see, yet it is a plank in my eye if Jesus was looking at me. But yep, God is good. My life in his grace and mercy is great. Its tremendous what God can heal with a willing faith.