out walking in the middle of a tornado

Dear Prayer Warriors, 

I drew near to Psalm 127 and the Word drew near me. I do not labor in vain through my suffering, because the Lord is building His house in me. I experience hope in His Word while my body is exhausted in sorrow. My time in prayer is not a shouting match of doubt or anger expecting answers; it's a time of trust and lovingkindness thanks to Jesus the curtain tearer.  While my heart and flesh lament, cry, and tire by midday about the way things are, God helps me see good. He reminds me of the One who crushed the serpent's head and took away the sting of death.

Simon was my reward from the Lord, I don't mean that sarcastically Simon was a good good gift from God. I nicknamed him Simon Diamond because I meant it. For me, he was a fist full of arrows in a warrior's hand. Simon pushed back the darkness with his prayers and lit up the dance floor in worship. Don't believe me? Come to the funeral we are going to show evidence of such things! 

 I met with Simon's primary care Physician today and the first thing she said was "I'm so glad you have your faith." then proceeded to weep, I was not expecting that. She asked how Lindsey was doing, just like the verse in Psalm 127 we are not toiling for food (we have so much help), and God gives sleep to those He loves. Even when my memory storage is full and my things to do are piled high, my God grants sleep to those he loves. to be real also Victor is not sleeping through the night yet and that makes it hard at times. 

Please Praise God with me. He has turned many bad things for good: 

-Anna's seizure hospitalization allowed for our own private family and friends room to grieve and wait as Simon was dying. 

-Media was prodding for stories. God slowed the rush, directed them all for His glory. its not everyday you hear the Savior's name on the local news. 

-The shock of his death impacted so many. Complete strangers cared. There has been a supernatural amount of money donated. So much so that we are not worried about covering my time off or the cost of a funeral. rather we are in the position to dream up a legacy type thing for him in the years to come should the Lord direct us. 

-Family members, coworkers, friends, and us we are all cut to the heart. God has allowed this death as a "where the rubber meets the road." kind of thing. Lots of spiritual inventorying going on by many.

Please pray for:

-God's great might and help ministered to us for Simon's funeral scheduled on Wednesday July 27th. At our church Calvary Worship Center in Colorado springs at 10AM. All are welcome. 

- God's direction with a passage to choose, people to speak and songs to sing. We aim to make it kid friendly while not looking like a VBS. We are honored that many people have changed their plans to help us glorify God through this. This is all so heavy!

-The reception, I asked my Target store to create a volunteer event to help cater, set up, serve food, and clean up. I haven't considered that they are maybe seeking to participate rather than serve and that is a blessing to us as well. 

-the indoor trampoline park Air City 360. They are honored to host the reception. This is Simon's "favorite place" he said that a month ago after his first time there. We hope to have 100 kids jumping.This is where it will be unmistakably kid friendly. They will close it from the public for us, what grace! 

-our anniversary. On Sunday we will "celebrate" 12 years of marriage. Pray that our hearts will be opened and turned towards each other in full sensitivity to what we are going through. 

-the Lord to reveal hidden treasures of Simon's character in our house like his writing and art. and treasures in our photos. perhaps something to write on a tombstone. I found his toothbrush under the couch this evening! We don't plan on hanging onto it but it warmed my heart. also, Lindsey showed me a thank you note from Simon to her, thanking her for writing a thank you note to him!!!  that's the goods "bring more Lord."

-That we keep our eyes on Jesus as the external stimulation and things to do subside and we are left with a quiet house where there once was wild living from a 6 year old taken way too soon in my opinion. God blessed him with so many great tools to navigate this life but obviously now it's meant for the sweet by and by.

-that our surviving kids (Anna, Renee, and Victor) would grow in faith and love as we treasure them even more now. That God would help them through this time too. I've never caved to Renee's demands as much as I have this week, Oh the sugar and snacks. 

With Resurrection Hope, 

Nic