After my Baptism and sharing with my family and friends. I felt ready for a nap but remembered that my young adult group was headed to a women's prison to hold a Sunday service for about twenty of the ladies there. The women were in ages from 15-24. We praised God in song and had a message on the Beatitudes given by a pastor. We broke into small groups. I felt weird, like they thought I was judging them. Thankfully one of the weekly volunteers sat in and helped me lead.
The talkative girl was said "yeah I like the one where Jesus says: Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me." (Matt 5:11) Cause just this last week, me and the girl next to me got in trouble but I didn't do nothing." I pointed to the girl next to her trying to get everyone in the conversation and asked: "so you were being falsely accused also?"
The talkative one blurts out "no she's the one accusing me! She thinks I'm gettin' with some girl and it ain't true." This was escalating to a potential cat fight. And not knowing it I'm feuling the fire. So I was like "hold up, hold up this verse ends by saying because of me. meaning Jesus." The girl responded by saying "well it wuz during Bible study." That was just such a strange occurance.
Praying in a shared prayer with them was amazing. the requests, the difficulties of being locked in. I prayed that the Holy Spirit be with them and that God reveils himself to them. After I looked at them and felt a sense of sharing and unity. Quite opposite from when I walked in the room. One of the girls was crying, I pray that she was touched by God's mercy and love.
Back at the church we held our regular Sunday night young adult group. There's this guy that comes off and on. (kinda like me lately) but he really has this sense of questioning everything. Letting us know what he likes about God and what God must be thinking about this and that. Just a dude with a clear desire to know the truth life has to offer.
For example we watch this incredible short clip from the internet of the worlds best tight rope walker. The guy performed mainly at Niagara Falls hundreds of feet above the water during the 1920's. He made each walk harder: First blind folded, then on stilts, then in a burlap bag, and for his biggest stunt he wanted to push a wheel barrow with someone inside. As the crowed roared in admiration and approval the rope walker said: "Now I need a volunteer."
The guest pastor used this as an image of trusting in Jesus Christ. Are we brave enough to let Christ wheel us on his tight rope dispite our fears? Or maybe the idea of Christianity is enough and worth applauding from the shore. And so after this presentation the guy challenged the pastor with this question: "Don't you think God gets mad at people in the Guiness Book of World Records, or the circus, on Ripley's Believe it or Not?"
By now I'm tired, very tired and this dude is just prolonging the meeting. Who knows what God thinks. Even the greatest theologians on earth can't know God's reasons for certain mysteries like the Trinity. By now I'm getting impatient every time he says something. Well we adjurn for the night and I'm headed for the door. And that dude is like: "Hey wait are you Nic?"
He's sitting and I'm stoped abruptly giving the "what do you want" look. He says that he's been in a hard, hard spiritual battle raging inside him especially when he's alone. One of the other members of the group told him to talk to me about what I went through. I described my deceptions brought on by the Devil. How I had no control of my body or thought process after a certain point.
As for spiritual warfare (not knowingly sure what that was) I told him that the war is over, though my spirit lives on, God reigns by His son Owning my faith. Jesus holds my soul in the realm of the eternal. On Liberation day (11-10-06) I accepted the free gift of salvation in Jesus Christ by placing my faith in Him alone. God required me to trust in His Son before gaining understanding of the Bible and His revelation within me (why I went through what I did).
I could tell he might not have thought about this distinction so I continued by saying: "Now I remind myself daily of this spirtual war being won by obeying Christ. The battles in my mind and body are remanants of the hell I put myself through. This victory comes in faithfulness in prayer, hope, and will power. All of which come from wanting and doing God's will. With grace I will continue to turn from sin, read the Bible and apply it.
We continued by talking about sin. He claims his upbringing as being the deep root of his lusting. I shared with him that I struggle with that and yet I grew up surrounded by strong women and dated girls that I deeply respected. Yet I still chose to lust. The guy was like "ok, that was your choice. Mine was imposed upon psychologically by my parents." To this I said: "yeah that is probably true but don't you think God knows this." He took one of those double blinks. And we finished by talking about the blame game as a trick the Devil uses.
Two last ideas I gave him to chew on was this: place all your knowledge, history, events and spiritual beliefs in a box. Well God isn't in that box. Your thoughts on God are in there, but God is so much bigger than that box. Second, religion is defined as man's attempt to bridging the gap between himself and God. But the Bible is God reaching out to us. This was from a great DVD given to me called the Gospel Journey by Dare 2 Share Ministries.
God's spirit convicted me to share. As we parted, I felt peace yet pumping with adrenaline hoping that Jesus would reach down and change this guy's mind for His glory. That was a definate first for me, sharing my past with someone who has been troubled with similar problems. I saw my old self somewhat and what it means to be a willing believer. I tried to highlight the angles of faith I didn't understand before believing. But the choice to follow Christ is squarely on his shoulders.
On the ride home I thought of all the people who talked to me when I was drowning in confusion and deception at a hospital; for a moment I imagined their prayers on my behalf and wept. Look at who God is continuing to redeem. I'm welling up so I'm gonna go. Thanks for all your help
