God has showed me that faith can go very far. Past all addictions, further than my understanding, and into the finishline of eternity. Jesus has given me more access to Him than I know what to do with. This last week I decided to try to devote a 45 minute time to praying and the Gospel before I leave my apartment. I was skeptical thinking that prayer is prayer no matter the time of day. But honestly I have felt differently all week. Working has been focused and diligent. Where usually its not. Talking to others about Christ convicts why I believe.
Tears of my testamony surfaced as I retold it to others. Anger and pride got traded for forgiveness and asking for forgiveness. For example, I'm training a couple "G's" from Cali, (not thugs but playaz). Historically I was a sort of social chameleon adapting my speech and comments to the person I was talking to. So these guys really tempted me to float onto relatable topics, thus trading my level of trainer. The Holy Spirit nudged me to remember that a position of authority has accountability. Who was I to conform to them? Be loving sure, but not approval seeking. So that was an unexpected victory.
How about consecutive days where the presence of the Lord in my life is so emotive that I'm removed from familiar sin. To be delighted with joy! Look-out, What a glorious God I serve. Faith in Jesus transcends my emotions, it is more than a feeling. Many of my sins were sins of passion to self-cure my emotions, that was the mode of operations for big Nic. Christ within is deeper, than the M.O. The Holy Spirit is the regeneration within. Teaching me and challenging me to chameleon Jesus (if you follow). Jesus was tempted harder than anyone ever for empathetic reasons and high preist status. He never sinned because his faith was in God the father and His plan. During those "silent years" I bet Jesus got into the scriptures like a lover courting their spouse. "We're His bride." That can be pretty emotional when focused upon in light of His perfection covering my past.
I'm on a roll with this morning devotion time, in the last 11+1/2 months as believer I've prayed and joined many community groups to grow in my faith. Church is huge in ministry but overlooking at times one-on-one worship of Jesus. (Its super sweet) My first action all week long was to focus on the perfect, immense love of Jesus saving His bride and being brought to glory for eternity because He obeyed the plans of His father. God's grace regrows me in Holy Spirit soil. Mornings are a time of hoping in the provision of the Lord, obeying like Jesus did and trusting the Holy Spirit to be God's will and time for me.
