He'll Never Let Me Down

 

1. Dear prayer warriors.

One of the songs at Simon's service says:

 "I put my faith in Jesus

My anchor to the ground

My hope and firm foundation

He'll never let me down..."

I have sung this song a few times since and I have a hard time agreeing with the "He'll never let me down" part. So I asked God to help me understand this phrase as I am still surrendering things like the fun of Simon's ideas. Or How I assumed he would be Anna's helper. I have certainly felt let down by aspirations and calculations I've made. And that is a sorrowful thing to accept. 

To me, the expression "being let down" is another way of saying "you didn't keep your promises." It was this distinction that helped me see that God doesn't promise us tomorrow here. The feeling of being let down comes from my heart's desires and hopes, not God's. It's so easy to swerve into wrong thinking with this much loss.

Then a thought even more precious came to me as I laid my struggle before Jesus: literally "He'll never let me down". That couldn't be more true. I have a testimony of how God has picked me up, held me against His chest and led me without letting me down day after day and week after week since. I have not had to go through any of this without Him. He is still holding me up, still in His bosom, and He's not letting me down (literally)!

Below are the lyrics to "Simon's song" the song we sang to Simon while he was in Lindsey's womb. We wanted Simon to recognize a song and a voice when he was born. We picked this song because the medical community expressed anxiousness for us having another kid given Anna's diagnoses. This song helped us surrender whatever became of Simon before he was even born. It's been good to revisit it. I am especially attracted to the challenge in the song to thank the Lord for the bad as there are several lines that thank God for something bad.

1. 
   
2. Thanks to God for my Redeemer,
   Thanks for all Thou dost provide!
   Thanks for times now but a mem’ry,
   Thanks for Jesus by my side!
   Thanks for pleasant, balmy springtime,
   Thanks for dark and stormy fall!
   Thanks for tears by now forgotten,
   Thanks for peace within my soul!
3. Thanks for prayers that Thou hast answered,
   Thanks for what Thou dost deny!
   Thanks for storms that I have weathered,
   Thanks for all Thou dost supply!
   Thanks for pain, and thanks for pleasure,
   Thanks for comfort in despair!
   Thanks for grace that none can measure,
   Thanks for love beyond compare!
4. Thanks for roses by the wayside,
   Thanks for thorns their stems contain!
   Thanks for home and thanks for fireside,
   Thanks for hope, that sweet refrain!
   Thanks for joy and thanks for sorrow,
   Thanks for heav’nly peace with Thee!
   Thanks for hope in the tomorrow,
   Thanks through all eternity.
5. 
   

Thanks for 6 years with Simon

Praise God for:

-The Lord opened our heart to sponsor two kids. Fred from Rwanda who shares Simon's birthdate. We also sponsored Natanelle from Hati who is an 8 year old girl with special needs. May the Lord be praised. 

-Fred, someone we can send a birthday present to for all of Simon's birthdays. 

-Jesus never letting me down (in both senses of the term)

- the continued support from people praying. I know we need lots and that is why i keep writing with specifics. Thank you and Praise the Lord.

-the many helping with sacrifices of time to help us with the kids, walks, godly understanding.

Please pray for:

-unity in our marriage, particularly spiritual unity. We are struggling to pray together and be in God's Word. One of the graces we learned through Anna's 2 month hospitalization from birth was that prayer brought our marriage together. I tell people that praying together made us one, and I long for more of it these days. 

-I have become scared at times of being on different pages with Lindsey and instead of trusting God. i'm more like "why can't you see things the way i do?" This leads to frustration.

-This coming Saturday's men's breakfast. I have been asked to give a testimony. I figured if I can have faith greater than sorrow at the Funeral, I can, by God's grace, do it again.  That is what I have been focusing on the last few nights. It has been good to recount what happened in writing and see the moves God was making in my heart as He met us every step of the way.

-This coming Wednesday. Lindsey and I are starting counseling. May the Lord reveal the purpose and priorities that will best equip our marriage and grief.

-Greater joy in the suffering as we fix our eyes on Jesus the author and finisher of our faith.

  "This is the day the Lord has made;
let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psalm 118:24

Nic for the Currats