Target Hit the Bullseye

Dear Prayer Warrior, 

It's only natural that the world around us moved on, they don't live in our context. At best we are transitioning to a new normal, but often we long for what we had or can't have yet. Loved ones have showered us with kindness, generosity, care and concern, now it's time for them to move on. It's official, we lost our son. What confronts our feelings of great loss as parents is the love of God. He lost His son too. No matter what, we are never alone Jesus is here. The love of God doesn't fail, it has so much mercy that every tear is accounted for; a desperate heart crying to Jesus for help will always have rest in the Almighty. I've said it before, God utilized His children to meet our needs, He could have done it all solo like mana from heaven. However, I noticed that God didn't cut out the middleman for us, the middleman is His children. What a burden for prayer we have become, thank you! Isn't that what eternity will be like? the utilization of His children to do what He wants done? Praise God for such careful love. 

God also used Target. They didn't know it. All of Target leadership believes that you take care of your employees as if we are family. The directive of family is what is exalted here, but who created family and every good thing about family that Target wishes to represent? Check it out, about 20 team members and peers came to the funeral. My store created a volunteer event so my team served everyone at the reception. They paid for half of the food; Their Team Member assistance fund gave me significant help for funeral expenses. They gave me four days of bereavement pay, as much time off I desired to be with my family, they sent condolence cards, printed an article about talking with people you work with who just lost a loved one. Add to that, there were many team members that gave to our crowdfunding page. That is family love stepping up to the plate for sure. Praise God. 

Thank you for praying for my return to work. What a mixed bag. I know everyone is rooting for me, but it feels like there's an elephant in the room that follows me from room to room. Everyone knows, only about one in four people mention anything. Most of my coworkers are extra cheery around me, quick to greet me, and i respond well to that. I feel very famous from the vast majority of people mentioning that their thoughts are with me and my family. I would rather be a nobody if it means more time with Simon. I assume those people give me their "thoughts" because they do not have a belief in an interventionist God who works through prayer. 

There are a handful of coworkers encouraging me by saying they are "praying". Like ones I would never have guessed, so that is cool that my circumstances caused people to cry out to God and spend time with Him, but I would rather them not pray for me if it meant more time with Simon. I'm reminded also of Christians that say, "I'm praying for you" and they don't. That's the ugliest, I used to do that all the time. I think someone's "thoughts" are better than a forgetful Christian. also, I had a peer confide to me she doesn't know what she believes when it comes to God and dying but that "we (my family) have a strong faith." That led to a conversation which placed good seeds in good soil. I had some other conversations about faith too.  To my surprise there were very few that offered condolences. For them, I'm quick to mention "thank you, I will see him again." 

People behave weird around me; they literally don't know what to say, I do get lots of "I can't imagine." People are watching me go through this; they are seeing the sincerity of my faith in Jesus Christ. My suffering isn't just for me and my prayer warriors, it's also cathartic for those watching. By God's grace, people can see me genuinely seeking Jesus and His promises though this. To God be the glory, because I'm firstly writing these things for to keep my emotions in check and my heart open and honest. Lord knows, how Simon's life and death is still impacting others. As the Newsboys famously say, "shine, make them wonder what ya got." 

Thank you for praying for my marriage. Thank you for praying! I continue to be comforted by many loved ones going out of their way for us. The cemetery has become a hang out, a shaded walkway on a hot day, a place to pray, read, sing and listen to the new Toby Mac album. 

We are laying fresh memories on the places Simon used to love going to like the swimming pool, our church, the Hot Wheels aisle, and his favorite parks. I could have a problem with it, but I know he is caught up making heaven memories with people as wild as John the Baptist. 

Please Pray:

-that we would start hippo (horseback) therapy again, it's so good for Anna. It's a hard one for us because Simon was most excited about going there specifically this summer. 

-For me to be still, rested, stayed on the Lord. There is a temptation to keep busy, to create random changes. I feel the Lord just wants me present with Him, my kids and bride. to take a chill pill.

-That I will work with excellence at Target, not given into old roots of discouragement but rather equipped with creativity, vision and compelling. Investing in the team.

-For Renee to relent at bedtime. 

I enjoy having Simon's shoes on our shoe rack still.

In Christ,